tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post1847661242694799708..comments2010-12-23T00:34:53.539-05:00Ned's Younger Brotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10782163509310807317noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-90354248238945612062010-12-23T00:34:53.539-05:002010-12-23T00:34:53.539-05:00No one likes a counter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-64795536365660071082010-12-07T12:48:21.546-05:002010-12-07T12:48:21.546-05:00Being a college football player I had many DOFFS in my brotourage. One in particular stood out above all the rest. During our biannual beer olympics I watched as our main DOFF chugged an entire pitcher in 8 seconds, it was like watching a high powered vacuum.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-572196666443053652010-09-14T13:57:44.934-04:002010-09-14T13:57:44.934-04:00Its all about the DUFF the designated ugly fat friend that FUPA rocking bitchAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-48174291760085441482010-09-01T13:46:37.301-04:002010-09-01T13:46:37.301-04:00Our Doff did two 4 beer funnels in over 3 minutes, taking him 10 seconds to down each one. He then had 5 lined up shots of ketel one, took them down, puked and continued drinking. Classic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-74845499122487531152010-08-20T02:48:36.658-04:002010-08-20T02:48:36.658-04:00Beyond Pebroleum, you speak the truth<br /><br />John Belushi is the model of all DOFF&#39;sAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-267712551708643202010-08-14T12:38:32.896-04:002010-08-14T12:38:32.896-04:00we had a DOFF that was the biggest piece of shit ever... by burping in girls faces and getting completely blacked out every chance possible, this DOFF would set us up for the Slam Piece invasion at Bush Beach... he was just funny and fat enough to where some girls didn&#39;t mind it and would eventually give up their man caves us, the unsuspecting vultures watching them finish their 5th shotBro Jacksonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-849892781072492332010-06-10T01:08:36.454-04:002010-06-10T01:08:36.454-04:00The original DOFF: John Belushi in Animal HouseBeyond Pebroleumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-81185236352080316422010-05-25T14:34:03.594-04:002010-05-25T14:34:03.594-04:00Hahaha too true Bro Schembechler. Sadly that may just be the tip of the iceberg for him.<br /><br />Here&#39;s an example. His sophomore year we were all sitting around the TV watching a football game when he rips a loud fart followed shortly after by him saying &quot;uh-oh&quot;<br /><br />Someone else asked &quot;did you just shit your pants?&quot; and he answers &quot;yes.&quot; This was then followed by a ten to fifteen second pause then someone finally says &quot;so are you gonna do something about it?&quot; He responds, &quot;yeah I guess, at the next commercial break.&quot;Broswanasauras Rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01699741840389901504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-22140901576288485202010-05-17T13:53:42.652-04:002010-05-17T13:53:42.652-04:00Right on with the absolutely disgusting element: Our DOFF is one of the grossest people of all time. He once left an entire opened package of lunch meat on the floor, buried underneath all his shit for several months before finding it. He routinely pisses in gatorade bottles and leaves them open all over the house. Once he even mistakenly took a swig of one after waking up from a drunken stupor.<br /><br />Whenever someone does something to make him mad, his go-to defense is to take a shit on that person&#39;s car. he also wears nothing but sweatpants, ever, which usually have jizz stains all over them.Bro Schembechlernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-4867416967533968032010-05-06T23:39:56.679-04:002010-05-06T23:39:56.679-04:00I was the DOFF in my fraternity back in college. I once took a 750 of Gentlemans Jack to the face. Then proceeded to tear my bro&#39;s sister&#39;s boyfriend&#39;s ACL because he wouldn&#39;t shut his fucking mouth. Good thing I used to go fishing with the town judge.Big Daddy Fat Snacksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-78148172972226165032010-05-04T03:01:59.203-04:002010-05-04T03:01:59.203-04:00Our Doff did 5 beers in one minute. Its on video... Ur doff is shit, tell him to step his game upAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-13199988534488321572010-04-25T21:47:16.612-04:002010-04-25T21:47:16.612-04:00I think we can agree there is a little DOFF in all of us. My bros and I take turns so we can keep our shit talking skills sharp. Short of waking up next to a fine slampiece, a bro loves nothing more than waking up and hearing about all the awesome shit he did last night when he was so fucking wrecked.Bromer Simpsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-29213051230047650292010-04-19T20:06:23.574-04:002010-04-19T20:06:23.574-04:00Chico Bro, your DOFF sounds like a bro-king of the highest caliber, but to mess up someone in the middle of a chug, let alone a fifth challenge he&#39;s 4/5ths of the way through, is super bro-hating. I feel like you need to look deep inside yourself and embrace the true bro that I know is in there before coming back to post on this site.Broregon Ducknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-20047204600787909252010-03-29T13:58:14.476-04:002010-03-29T13:58:14.476-04:00also set the curve on my final the next day still drunk and w/ out studying, fuck w/ thatAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-3543469339704824242010-03-28T13:33:22.857-04:002010-03-28T13:33:22.857-04:00yall are all bitches....16 oz tequila bong in less than 5 seconds. Man up before you post on this site.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-13063965043680503822010-03-12T18:09:06.093-05:002010-03-12T18:09:06.093-05:00The real Andre the Giant makes every DOFF listed above look like a bro hater nursing a wine cooler. He once drank 119 beers in a span of six hours, which comes out to almost a beer every three minutes over that stretch. Fuck Bro King, that man was a legitimate Bro God.<br /><br />For more information on the One True Bro God&#39;s prodigious drinking abilities: http://www.drunkard.com/issues/10_06/10_06_andre_giant.htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-47209151797375251862010-03-08T13:29:00.168-05:002010-03-08T13:29:00.168-05:00Our DOFF has accomplished the feat of 9 in 11, which although not 8 in 5 was still pretty impressive, also he has the characteristic of being an absolute tank as far as taking damage is concerned. After we had gotten in an argument with another frat they&#39;re bros showed up like pussies at 3 in the morning after a party night to try to take advantage of us being tired and hammered so we wouldn&#39;t put up a fight, they didn&#39;t plan on our DOFF marching at them straight on and fighting all 10 of them at once. Needless to say even after taking a fire extinguisher to the head and countless other blows he single-handedly defended our turf until the rest of us rushed in to join the fun. True Bro KingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-54346938608443777022010-03-03T19:04:31.659-05:002010-03-03T19:04:31.659-05:00theodore broosevelt, it doesn&#39;t have to do with the female doff but still classic bro moment....the doff is the ultimate way to pick up chicks because since they know they arent getting laid they make fun of chicks even harder than the average bro. The DOFF has no morals so after he&#39;s done ripping apart a slampiece because she looks like a pornstar, it&#39;s the perfect opportunity to pretend like you care about her feelings and start talking to her. After being humiliated and still getting picked up you are on a one way road to Poundtown USA.Broah's arkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12617281741458982831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-31956135300765971862010-03-02T21:17:26.200-05:002010-03-02T21:17:26.200-05:00So it was Thursday night, me and my bros got were drinking since 4 p.m. and decided we would throw a fucking banger at our frat. Invited nothing less than a 8.5(9.7 when drunk) and were having the best fucking time ever. I had a a slampiece practically sucking my dick on the dance floor, but the worst thing happend, I finished my beer and had to get a new one. So as I was making my way to the keg and caught site of fucking shamu. Clearly i did what any true bro would do and told her she was taking up to much space and kicked her out. But the only thing is this 250+ slut wasnt only a waste of space but a code fucking red cock block when i found out that she showed up with the slampiece i was about to slay up stairs in the bro cave.<br /><br />FFF...FUCK FAT FRIENDStheodore Broselvelthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12617281741458982831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-3011422752713110872010-02-05T22:49:07.916-05:002010-02-05T22:49:07.916-05:00our bear bong=8 beers in 17 secAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-66965230152242438202010-02-04T00:42:17.435-05:002010-02-04T00:42:17.435-05:00The *DOFF* in my frat is a true bro king. He&#39;s actually not that fat, but he&#39;s like 6&#39;6&quot;, 250, so he is fucking huge. Last year on the last day of classes he had a wizard staff composed of 9 Jooses and 3 beers before 6 pm. If you don&#39;t know what Joose is, its a 24 OZ can of 9.9% malt liquor with taurine and shit. basically the equivalent of 2 redbulls and 4.5 beers in one can. Fucking ridiculous. He is also obnoxious as fuck, rarely showers, and went an entire semester without doing laundry. His bed has no sheets on it and his room is covered in cigarette ash. Best part is though, this kid slays more bitches than anyone i&#39;ve ever met. he is the exception to the rule and a true bro king.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-58353041541729797882010-02-02T17:05:30.308-05:002010-02-02T17:05:30.308-05:00Our friend Sean is the perfect DOFF. He can drink more alcohol than humanly possible, and after being forced by his bro hater parents to go to the doctor last year before college he was told that he had the lungs of a thirty year old man. At one of are frat parties he was carrying around his personal 1.75 of kg, and after finishing almost all of the bottle he grabbed a bottle of heaven hill, opened his mouth wide and started pouring both bottles down his throat for a good 10 seconds. not to long later he passed out on the couch with his shoes on. so we took the fog machine from the dance floor and put it in his face on full blast for the night. At another party he got so tanked that he went outside to piss but forgot to bull his dick out and pissed all down his khaki pants. He then presumed to go back into the party and obnoxiously hit on every slampiece he could.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-33774902363203793242010-02-01T07:33:54.340-05:002010-02-01T07:33:54.340-05:00Back then, our DOFF was Andre the Giant. No, not because he actually <i>was</i> Andre the Giant, (his name was Terry) but because he was 6&#39;8 and 300lbs. Bartenders hate him because he can consume all the liquor in a bar and still not get drunk. Truly a sight to behold. He was also a true bro, always opting to settle with the DUFF even though he smells like shit and beer and sometimes you think, &#39;how did he get laid with all those women?&#39; and I mean, damn, how does he do that? <br /><br />I wonder what he&#39;s doing now.Broshihiro Tajirinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-14558556212118947782010-01-29T22:36:55.274-05:002010-01-29T22:36:55.274-05:00I must say, I may have the ultimate of all DOFF friends. He is a true bro king. He has managed to perfect the art form of DOFF that he slays mad slam pieces using it. A few stories of this bro king:<br /><br />Two years ago we lost a good Bro his last name was Miller. So being the great bro he is, our DOFF bought a keg of Miller to celebrate his life. Our DOFF then decided he wanted to start a club. Not just any club, but an amazing club. A club of epic proportions. An &quot;I love beer club.&quot; He designated himself the mascot of this club and allowed membership only to those who chugged an entire pitcher of Miller. Why? Because that&#39;s what a fucking bro would do. As the self appointed mascot he knew he had to market the club to its full potential. So he shaved &quot;I love beer&quot; in the back of his head. How else would people know there was an &quot;I love beer club.&quot; An hour after completing this masterful haircut, he went and took his composite picture with the rest of his bros. Best composite I&#39;ve ever seen. <br /><br />Another time he was put to a challenge. Word on the street was that he had a very high capacity for chugging alcohol. This was true. The challenge was set, down a fifth of captain in one chug. Knowing this bro for a while now I had no doubt in my mind he could complete this feat. My problem was it was half of my fifth and of course I wanted to get fucking wasted too. Everyone had their camera phones out and the countdown begun. I was attempting to talk him out of it(because I too wanted to get wasted) but when the countdown reached 1 the bottle went upside down. He was chugging at great speed. He reached the half way mark and I started to get pissed. The rest should be mine. But he continued. With 1/3 left I had enough and began screaming in his ear. Luckily this threw him off his game and made him stop. Could he have done the whole thing? Fuck ya. But I couldn&#39;t let that happen. I was sober. Needless to say we got fucking wasted and all went and found slam pieces for that night.Chico Brohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00119278789944310696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6728973342074104437.post-14933938746143597572010-01-11T15:38:09.732-05:002010-01-11T15:38:09.732-05:00Our DOFF is a 6&#39;4 450lb heap of bro. A tribute to brodom if there ever was one. On New Year&#39;s eve a few years back he drank a fifth of 100 proof SoCo, another fifth of 70 proof, a pint of brohawk and a 12 pack. He shit all over himself in the middle of the night and i discovered him passed out naked behind the bar in my other bro&#39;s basement. <br /><br />When he woke up the next morning at 8 he was still blackout.sir bros-alothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03941817374875075175noreply@blogger.com