Comments on Bros Like This Site: #48 Throwing Up

At a DUFF's high school jam last weekend and w...

2011-11-13T04:12:18.372-05:00

At a DUFF's high school jam last weekend and was blacking out on couch. The DUFF gets on her knees and asks me if I'm alright: projectile vomited all over her face and down her cleavage. Ran outside with the bros chanting. Fucking all star right here

You're not drinking unless you're puking.

2011-08-19T12:12:47.335-04:00

You're not drinking unless you're puking.

Ill never forget the time spring semester of Fresh...

2011-07-20T23:00:22.159-04:00

Ill never forget the time spring semester of Freshamn year I woke up drunk as shit one friday morning barely in time for my 9 am class a night after blackout drinking with the bros. As I stumbled to class and sat down I started to feel it. As the class progressed I got worse and worse until I got up and literally sprinted out of the room to the bathroom and proceeded to blow chunks all over this one stall. Felt better, went back in and took my seat. Stumbled out of class around 10:30 am still drunk but with a mean hangover. Turns out this was the day that all these fucking parents with their high school seniors thinking about or planning to come to my college next year were walking around on tours and shit. As I was walking past a large group I felt the need to blow chunks again so I stepped off the sidewalk and proceeded to puke on the grass right in front of this shitty tour group. I then started walking back to my dorm like nothing had fucking happened.

Bros Rule

so i was at my bros house and i was pounding back ...

2011-05-04T19:19:31.682-04:00

so i was at my bros house and i was pounding back some beers and then we gotta go. kinda lame but besides the point i step outside his house and here comes the hurl right onto the bush outside his house.so far not that impressive but when i finish puking on this bush a rabbit runs out with puke on its back. i puked on a rabbit.

So I was in england with my family and my friend. ...

2011-03-22T15:30:08.130-04:00

So I was in england with my family and my friend. We were sitting in our apartment bored as fuck, having stopped watching tv because the english version of football is for faggots. We looked in the freezer and found a handle of smirnoff and a handle of gin. We each took a 12 oz redbull poured it into a glass followed by 12 oz of gin. Downing that we drank a glass of vodka. My family dragged us out to dinner, on the walk there we were pretending we were pirates, and at the restraunt, I went to the bathroom puked into the sink, went back to the bar drank a pint and then sat down with the fam. My mom told me to eat, and i told her i wasnt hungry. She made me eat some french fries and moments later I turned and puked all over this 25 year old womans nice gold shoes. I promtly left with my bro went back to the apt. waking up I was still drunk and got on the airplane, but not before stoping at the club for free drinks.

Bro, one time i threw a fuckin huge party at my pl...

2011-02-26T00:58:03.000-05:00

Bro, one time i threw a fuckin huge party at my place back in high school and there was this private school slam piece that was pretty much my sex slave. she would text me and say "what are you doin today?" and i of course would reply "Come over cause im gonna take you to poundtown". but anyways, naturally she showed up to my party and towards the end of the night (about 5:00 am) she said im gonna leave and i told her no your not, go upstairs and get naked in my bed, she abliged. after my bros and i got done playin poker on the pong table, i went upstairs and started to slay this slampiece, when i started to finish i felt the unmistakable urge to fuckin throw up. so i just let it fly while i finished. then put my gym shorts on and walked downstairs and watched its always sunny in philadelphia.

puking in hotel lobbys or old folks homes (90% of ...

2011-01-11T18:22:16.604-05:00

puking in hotel lobbys or old folks homes (90% of old people are bro haters, but occassionally u meet a seasoned bro veteran) on the way back from the bar ensures some underpaid maid that works 20 hours a day and cant speak any english will be assigned the task of mopping up ur awesomeness. the best is puking in the bar, getting thrown out and still being able to sneak out an open beer in ur shirt sleeve and downing it infront of a fleet of juice monkey bouncers...

To that fucking pussy that said blacking out is be...

2011-01-07T01:23:20.804-05:00

To that fucking pussy that said blacking out is better, fuck you. i wanna fucking drink more so i can remember my bro point worth fall down the stairs

beginning of this fall term I moved into my appt a...

2010-12-11T15:48:25.185-05:00

beginning of this fall term I moved into my appt a few days early just to go on a bender with my bros. One night after getting fucked up off 4 Lokos and Natty. We go called out by a couple bro-haters (aka Cops) for yelling at people walking by and throwing glass off my 2nd floor balcony onto the street. So rather than dealing with them, we peaced outta my place and rolled into a frat house down the road. Of course, this wasnt our frat and the bra/bro ratio was way off, so we decided to just fuck shit up. We fucked up one kids room, literally breaking everything. Fuckin loser though he could tell us we werent allowed to go up stairs - dont tell me what to do herb. Then, some kid pulled out a bottle of Absinthe he brought back from his term abroad last spring. He offered kid shots - fuckin took that shit outta his hand and put it vertical. About 2 minutes later, me and my bros were talkin trash lettin these fools know their house sucked but well take their booze any day when I let loose... fuckin tryin for a bathroom or a bag (this wasnt my house) just leaned over a bit so I didnt hit my Topsiders and puked up everything. Fuck them. We were than kicked out, but fuck that, we already killed their alch supply and there were no chicks so we were peacing anyways.. bros love 1) gettin smashed on 4 Loko 2) Breakin shit 3) yellin at random ppl 4) breakin more shit 5) stealing shit - especially alch 6) puking 7) gettin kicked out of places

Back in college I was banging this total slut who ...

2010-12-09T15:57:59.198-05:00

Back in college I was banging this total slut who happened to have hella-big titties and loved to bang. She also loved to get fucked up and at one point me and my bros were taking shots at the bar and she thought she would join. Not only did she throw up at the bar, she continued to drink like a true bro. Unbelievable? Maybe. Awesome at the time? Totally

I pull the trigger all the time. Really empties t...

2010-10-04T14:24:21.238-04:00

I pull the trigger all the time. Really empties the stomach and allows for maximum broness for the remainder of the night. I actually spit up blood for a little while after the last few times. What am I supposed to do though, go to a doctor? Fuck that, he'll just tell me to stop drinking, or even worse, drink less. Blasphemous though it may be, I'd rather not drink on a Saturday night than "drink socially." Monitoring your drinking, and by that I mean drinking less than 10 drinks in an hour, is for fucking bro haters. Blacking out is the shit, and I will never give that shit up.

Good timing for this post. My bro roomate was just...

2010-09-05T13:40:59.285-04:00

Good timing for this post. My bro roomate was just booting his face off while me and another bro were casually talking about last night and all the slammers at our bro-tastic party like nothin was strange. I convinced him to take a shot to help him out, and that got him some bro cred

one night me and some of my bros were drinkin at t...

2010-08-11T03:26:22.817-04:00

one night me and some of my bros were drinkin at thier bropad when i decided that it was my fuckin mission of the night to cash a case on my own cuz clearly im a fuckin bro. 23 beers deep im in the middle of playing beer pong when right before my shot i lean over his balcony and yak right after i chug the rest of my beer and sink last cup. Not only did i finish the case but i still got fuckin laid

God i love being a bro

Smiley Puke - trying to hold the biggest smile on ...

2010-07-23T16:45:25.566-04:00

Smiley Puke - trying to hold the biggest smile on your face while puking

Alright, epic bro moment. So last semester my sch...

2010-07-22T17:50:02.166-04:00

Alright, epic bro moment.
So last semester my school started to realize that greek life is literally all about drinking so they tried implementing this new thing called greek week at our school during the spring semester. It consists of various events and day long shit that you have to have a certain amount of your chapter there for in order to maintain accredidation. So basically this week sucks the dick but hey were bros so of course we can make even the lamest situation fucking awesome. So this particular story comes from the Wednesday of greek week where at 7pm we were supposed to have to go to a speaker at the schools auditorium about underage drinking and how bad it is. Yea right you know my bros and i arent going to this shit sober. So of course we had been day drinking since roughly 11am that day cause i mean who goes to class when theres drinking to be done. So after a few hours of slaming brews my bro and i decided that if we had to sit through this speaker we need to be like blacked-out status so of course we break out the "GRAIN". We have our own special concoction called blackout sauce so we whiped that up right quick and started slamming it hard for about an hour or two. Next thing i remember was waking up sitting in the auditorium listening to this lame ass speaker and suddenly feeling like shit. I tried to get up but didnt quite make it and ended up throwing up all over the rival fraternity sitting in front us. Not only did this cause the biggest scene in the history of my school's greek life but of course i just said fuck it and walked out of the building and like a true bro i walked back to the house cracked a cold one and started to post/pre-game for the night to come. Best bro-moment of my life!!!

Puking in your mouth and swallowing it is bro as h...

2010-06-18T17:59:45.335-04:00

Puking in your mouth and swallowing it is bro as hell

-brostradamus

Summer after my Junior year of college I had an in...

2010-05-20T19:50:06.215-04:00

Summer after my Junior year of college I had an internship where I had to travel all over the country, anyways, the company was stupid enough to give me a corporate credit card to pay for food, hotels and other random shit. Well one night I went out and got shit faced in Nashville and after being invited to some sweet sorority party and nailing some soristitute, i woke up at 630 and realized that i had a meeting at 8 and needed to get back to my hotel. So i jumped in a cab and started heading for the hotel, half way there i started to feel shitty (we were up drinking until 4) and I puked all over the back seat of the cab, after trying to blame it on the foreigners shitty driving, i finally agreed to pay the 75 dollar fine....with my corporate credit. God bless Corporate Credits and Bros.

last summer, me and some of my bros from back home...

2010-05-20T13:20:37.788-04:00

last summer, me and some of my bros from back home went to a penny pitcher night at a bar we've been going to since we were in fucking high school. Place is a shithole, I mean...even the truest of bros could not survive a round of tramp stamp drinking game in this place. And enough ed hardy and hairgel to make a guido vom. but thats not the point. so we're knocking back pitchers like its our fucking job, with a stack of empty pitchers in the center of our table so tall you couldn't see over it, waitresses were refusing to serve us, to the point where we have to send our bras to the bar for pitchers, anyway...so i see one of my bros i hadn't seen in years with a whole gang of slam pieces and we start talking, and i can feel myself getting sick...but am i going to sit down or 'go get some fresh air'? yeah fucking right. i'm a bro. so in mid conversation, i grab a pitcher off our table and left those slut waitresses about half a pitcher of my dinner. fuckin sluts. and we didn't tip em. and if you think throwing up in front of those slam pieces kept me from sealing the deal, you're fuckin crazy. bros rule.

me and a few of my bros a few weeks ago drank a ha...

2010-04-25T16:31:18.840-04:00

me and a few of my bros a few weeks ago drank a handle of vodka and ate hella mexican food free. then we started walking and me and my bro were running around throwing up on peoples lawns and walkways and porches. then in the same night another of my bros started throwing up all over his slam pieces friends. a great night.

throwing up is only acceptable if u are able to go...

2010-04-25T15:52:11.147-04:00

throwing up is only acceptable if u are able to go out and crush more beers. those people who throw up and then pass out are not true bros.

dude intentionally threw up on an off duty cop and...

2010-04-16T12:26:43.976-04:00

dude intentionally threw up on an off duty cop and his daughter..

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5098407

On spring break in PC after a hell of night I capp...

2010-03-29T17:58:27.807-04:00

On spring break in PC after a hell of night I capped it with a crowner, 3 beers in a six foot bong, i released the nozzle on the way down the pressure hit my throat and I threw up into the hose but kept chugging, got it down in under 10 not even a drop to spare. You might say its disgusting but so is wasting 3 beers it was a proud moment

So the other day me and my high school bros had ou...

2010-03-16T02:47:29.888-04:00

So the other day me and my high school bros had our prom. It was fucking crazy my bro had a whole weed brownie and ended up puking all over his date, her best friend, some slut, his bro, and his date. It was the craziest mixture of drunken anger and the urge to puke because of the smell. He is now one of the most hated bros at our school and still has more bro points then me.

I know the batboy for the Chicago White Sox and on...

2010-03-05T09:55:28.876-05:00

I know the batboy for the Chicago White Sox and one night he took us over to Bobby Jenks house... he got us all retarded drunk out of our minds and I ended up puking in a garbage bag in his basement off of cheap tequila. Needless to say it just cleared more room in my stomach and I continued on with natty and shots.

Oh and my bro drove home blacked out and neither of us remember driving home. We earned a shitload of bropoints that night

One time I was on a road trip over to my bro's...

2010-02-16T22:34:49.387-05:00

One time I was on a road trip over to my bro's college to engage in some weekend chay-n-slay. I get there, settle in for 5 minutes, then immediately break out the bacardi and start pregaming. 9 shots deep we roll out to some slut my bro was banging's birthday party. It was lame as shit, so I run the pong table for an hour and pound another 5 beers on the side, and then head to the kitchen for a shotgun race. My bro and I kill ours in 4 seconds, and then a random bro-hater only gets halfway through his before he stops and complains about the quality of beer. It's PBR, of course its horse shit, suck it up. I rip the can out of his hand, chug the remaining contents, look at my bro and say "fuck this party, let's hit the bars." I turn, puke all over this bitches nice rug, then walk out of the room. 3 seconds later, I hear this slam piece yell "Who puked all over my rug?!?!" At this point we leave, both pick up bitches at the rival campus from the bar, and forced another broad to scrub the rug for the remaining of the party. win.