Comments on Bros Like This Site: #122 Texting

Instant fucking classic NYB. Late night texts to s...

2011-03-11T08:50:05.849-05:00

Instant fucking classic NYB.
Late night texts to slampieces are the shit, because you can get straight to the fucking chase.
no bullshit awkwardness like "hey, what's up? what are you doing?"
no fuck that.
1:59 AM - "Down to pound?"

Long live the bros.

The text message is one of the greatest bro-invent...

2010-08-30T18:38:01.497-04:00

The text message is one of the greatest bro-inventions of all time. Makes setting up a late-night booty call completely effortless. No more chatting on the phone for 15 minutes with a slampiece hoping that she might be DTF later on that night. Just send out a text and get on with your drinking until the reply comes back.

The best part about texting? You don't even have to focus your game on one slampiece at a time. My favorite move (and I'm sure most bros here do this too) is to type out "what are you up to?" when I'm getting ready to leave the bar at 2AM and send it not to just one of the slampieces in my contact list, but to all of them simultanously. I'm a bro - I'm not going to waste my precious time sending individual texts to every slampiece I know. I've got beers to shotgun and beirut games to dominate. And each slampig thinks she's getting my undivided attention since they have no way of knowing if I sent that text to other bras. Technology fucking rules.

Once the bro-signal is sent out, I resume my previous activities and wait 5-10 minutes for the return texts to roll in. The hottest slampiece that replies in that timeframe wins the privilege of riding my brogo stick for the evening. The rest of them get a raincheck for later in the week, or later that night if I decide to bounce from slampiece #1's place early enough. You snooze, you lose, ho's.

Text messaging is the bro equivalent of a fucking cruise missile. Just press a few buttons and within a minute the slampiece's defenses have been disabled and she's ready for ground conquest.

Bros are the shit.

Thanks bros!

2010-06-28T15:32:08.905-04:00

Thanks bros!

well said hipBROpotamus

2010-06-22T10:38:38.017-04:00

well said hipBROpotamus

Great post as always NYB; however, I must say that...

2010-06-20T13:01:30.490-04:00

Great post as always NYB; however, I must say that my week was not complete without a new weekly post. That being said, comments like Beatrice Howe have been quite entertaining to laugh at.

For all the bros hating on iphones, obviously you ...

2010-06-19T17:15:43.490-04:00

For all the bros hating on iphones, obviously you can't afford one, it being the most expensive plan out there. You have to be dumb as shit to honestly think that a blackberry is actually cooler than an iphone.

NYB, you should do these articles: 1. Making light...

2010-06-19T17:12:31.550-04:00

NYB, you should do these articles:
1. Making light of "tragedies"- you touched on this in your halloween article, but it really deserves its own piece. Not much besides banging gives bros as much satisfaction as seeing the look of horror cross some hipster loser's face when they make fun of a war in Africa or some natural disaster.
2. ESPN- bros are fucking obsessed with ESPN and can watch multiple cycles of it in a day. You could talk about how bros all have their favorite anchor (I myself am a Scott Van Pelt guy). You could also talk about how bros get so into Around the Horn and how fucking pissed they get when Jackie MacMullan (dyke) is on and how they flip the fuck out when Reali lets her win. Just some thoughts.

Beatrice Howe = bro-hating slam piece that probabl...

2010-06-19T15:42:19.201-04:00

Beatrice Howe = bro-hating slam piece that probably has a cat for every man thats ditched her

Once again, you are brutally destroying the nature...

2010-06-19T12:48:03.600-04:00

Once again, you are brutally destroying the nature of possitive communication and I am fed up to here MISTER! Texting while driving is against the law and you can kill an innocent person! For Heavens sake! I constantly read this blog and increasingly get disgusted with the demeanor of your blog and following. You should be ashamed of yourself!!! Grow up.

I don't get the knocking on iPhones. I had a b...

2010-06-17T20:50:07.095-04:00

I don't get the knocking on iPhones. I had a blackberry and it was great and all, but the iPhone is just so much better honestly. Way easier to use and not having to have an extra ipod is not a bad thing. Yeah they're gay apps, but espn especially has great ones for fantasy, score updates and now world cup coverage (though they need to get live streams going asap).

Stop trying so hard anonymous posters.

Oskar: Miami Brohio

2010-06-17T17:18:11.667-04:00

Oskar: Miami Brohio

I know what you mean anonymous. Last month I acci...

2010-06-17T12:14:21.275-04:00

I know what you mean anonymous. Last month I accidentally picked up the phone when my parents called, and then threw my phone across my room when I got pissed at something my mom said.

Oskar-Some good schools where you can party for 4 years and your parents will still be proud of you include Vandy, William and Mary, UVA, Washington and Lee, UNC Chapel Hill, USC, Duke, G-Town.

i'm not really understanding all this 'bur...

2010-06-17T11:30:57.433-04:00

i'm not really understanding all this 'burner' hate. i use a burner and get no disrespect from my bros, not to mention i am texting a slampiece on it right now. i've owned smartphones but seriously there's no point in me owning one, that shit gets broken/lost/thrown at something in less than a month. i get unlimited everything on my shit bro, plenty of time to talk to your girlfriend. what is so fucking bro about an iphone? apps are prob about the most un fucking bro thing ever. what the fuck does a bro need with a metal detector or a south park soundboard on his phone? i'll tell you what. absolutely. fucking. nothing. until they make an app that gets me trashed, blazed, or takes me straight to pound town, i won't be buying an iphone.

cant forget picture messaging, theres nothing more...

2010-06-16T14:53:34.932-04:00

cant forget picture messaging, theres nothing more bro than having some stupid slut send you a pic of those tis because your bored in class and know that she'll do anything to please a bro

oskar, if your smart enough to go ivy you should ...

2010-06-16T03:55:55.065-04:00

oskar,

if your smart enough to go ivy you should check out William & Mary. After all NYB is an alumnus and we all should follow in his footsteps.

The late night sexting is the staple of any bro...

2010-06-16T02:59:54.262-04:00

The late night sexting is the staple of any bro's arsenal.
Every bro knows how to get the slam piece's # while he's #8 rolling deep.
Then while he's hunting for more slam piece's, he can text one already at the bar to take home.
Texting is like fishing with dynamite and I hope that bros can look forward to future technological advancements, such as this.

I sent my first text 7 years ago and have embraced...

2010-06-15T19:26:01.386-04:00

I sent my first text 7 years ago and have embraced it as a way of life. Gotta have that full keyboard too.

And dude talking about pre-paid cells, I thought all bros remained on their rich ass parents family plan like the other guy said, so we can save money for alcohol and weed. I haven't paid a cell phone bill since the invent of the family plan.

Also I was given a house where the only bill I have to pay is my cable and internet. It makes it real easy to continue my lifestyle of 85% of my income going to partying as hard as possible.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/09/opinion/09dowd.h...

2010-06-14T22:29:16.975-04:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/09/opinion/09dowd.html

This says it better

A bro can have any sick phone, but a bro can defin...

2010-06-14T15:33:24.458-04:00

A bro can have any sick phone, but a bro can definitely not pose a "discussion question." stay away from this site anonymous bro-hater.

Fellow bros, i don't know whether this is the ...

2010-06-14T14:14:26.257-04:00

Fellow bros, i don't know whether this is the right place for this question.... but i thought i would ask it here. I'm a bro in high school which is bitchin, next year is my senior year and i still haven't decided where to go to college. My grades allow me to go wherever the fuck i want, IVY league included....but FUCK THAT. All i wonna do in college is smoke weed, drink hook up with slam pieces and just party day & night in an insane frat house with fellow bros.
Please bros reccomend a couple of schools and frats for me.

Sending out the mass texts to all the slampieces i...

2010-06-13T15:38:52.115-04:00

Sending out the mass texts to all the slampieces is where its at! My phone was lighting up like the fourth of July last night. It's good to be a bro. Peace out fuckers.

p.s. iPhones are for queersexuals and slampieces.

Cmon bros, it's an iPhone world. blackberrys a...

2010-06-12T15:49:02.076-04:00

Cmon bros, it's an iPhone world. blackberrys and palms were great, but apple is blowing them away.

Brothesda, wiki the spur posse.

2010-06-11T17:02:10.099-04:00

Brothesda, wiki the spur posse.

Vincent Van Bro- You are spot-on, bro. The mass t...

2010-06-11T14:58:33.623-04:00

Vincent Van Bro-

You are spot-on, bro. The mass text to a pool of slampieces at 2:00 am works everytime. We call it fishing. Throw out a bunch of lines, see which one gets you a bite. And by bite, I mean one-way ticket to Pound Town. Plus, you're laying ground work for the next afternoon/night with the other bras. Bros are geniuses. Society should thank us.

Brothesda, i went to dematha and fucking hated la...

2010-06-11T01:59:21.489-04:00

Brothesda,

i went to dematha and fucking hated landon kids but my opinion was completely reversed when i saw that these 9th grade future bros named one team "The Southside Slampigs". These little fuckers are destined for bro glory.

great post nyb. my favorite is when these dumb sluts are asleep in bed, completely sober and get the late night text that simply says "?" and they respond back "u woke me up u dick. yea ill be over in 5". long live texting. long live bros.