Comments on Bros Like This Site: #88 Getting Wasted At Inappropriate Times

annual camping trips include family, friends, and ...

2011-01-18T17:54:41.081-05:00

annual camping trips include family, friends, and cousins. i stay on a site with some of my bros including one of my cousins away from the families so we can get sloppy without the bro hating parents and wardens freaking out. we set up beer pong on our picnic table one morning after a solid few breakfast beers and taught my little cousin and his friend to play pong. got them drunk for their first time and even witnessed a "fuck off mom im not going to bed" out of little cousins mouth. sure she tried to send him to bed early but the future bro snuck out and took shots with us. he went up a few belts in Bro karate that day.

Senior year of college, graduation week. It's ...

2010-12-13T22:43:59.456-05:00

Senior year of college, graduation week. It's two days before the ceremony and I'm on day 6 of an epic bender. I'm at the Bro Pad slamming cans of bud heavy and doing bong loads with the bros at about 8PM, when I get a text from a guy from my class:

"Dude, where are you? The honors society dinner just started. You need to be here to get your Dean's List award."

In my four years of fratting, I never studied and had gone to maybe 10% of my classes at best, but I'm a bro and therefore smart as fuck. Hence, I pulled a 3.8 without any effort and won some bullshit Dean's List thing in the business school.

At this point I'm about 8 beers and three bowls deep, but I decide that being the guest of honor at a faculty event dictates that I get REALLY fucking wasted. I finish a sixer of Natty, do two strikeouts, a shot of Jaeger, and grab a couple road beers for my walk across campus to the faculty club. This event was supposed to be business dress, but I don't give a fuck so I roll over there in my football jersey and shorts.

I kick open the doors to the banquet hall, causing everyone to stop their conversation and turn around to stare at me. I then proceed to walk straight up to the stage - beer can in one hand and a fat lip of copenhagen in my mouth. I grab my award plaque off the table, fist-bump the confused-looking Dean of the business school, and then flash the shocker to the event photographer next to the stage while everyone in their nice suits and dresses gasps in shock.

I then walked straight back out of the hall, holding my award plaque aloft like a fucking Super Bowl trophy, while chanting "USA! USA! USA!" at full volume on my way out the door.

There's no such thing as an "inappropriate" time to be wasted, at least not in my book.

Bro Life.

being a bro is such a hit at the family xmas party...

2010-09-30T14:25:52.254-04:00

being a bro is such a hit at the family xmas party. i get all the kids to think its cool to go to sleep early by double fisting beers all night and skipping dinner to inhale all the eggnog while no bro-haters are around...i'm passed out by 9.

dude I got wasted at my uncles after funeral, I wa...

2010-09-12T20:26:11.697-04:00

dude I got wasted at my uncles after funeral, I was stumbling around as my granny was trying to get me to sit down and "talk with her" yeah right granny, fucking heart to hearts about my drinking is bro-hating and I will not be apart of it.

So at my passover sedar this past year my uncle de...

2010-09-01T16:01:25.995-04:00

So at my passover sedar this past year my uncle decided to put the top shelf shit for all 50 members of my family to drink. So what does a bro like myself do? pour that patron motherfucker. After the 8th shot i thought out loud "maybe i should stop", but then i said "fuck that keep em coming grandma". So 5 shots later we sit down to read about how the jews got out of egypt and its my turn to read. I fuckin rock that paragraph in my sean connery voice, but i wasnt feeling to great. So before i replace everyone's matzoh ball soup with tequila flavored yak i make my way outside. Almost there ik im not gonna make it. So close to the outside with just the desert room to run through to get outside i hold my mouth b/c something is coming up. Needless to say if i cant have desert ill throw up all over it. End result i yacked on the desert table and caused a fight between my mom and my uncle that lasted 3 months. I'd say a bros work was done here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItohXDquGik check ...

2010-08-19T01:43:36.538-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItohXDquGik

check this wanna be alabama rushee out! a TRUE bro in training

No time is inappropriate for gettin fucked up. My ...

2010-08-18T12:56:56.148-04:00

No time is inappropriate for gettin fucked up. My buddy Jimbo (JimBRO) had beer with his cheerios (no milk) after a solid night of partyin and called it Beerios. Hahahaha this shit makes my day

If you've never been fired for getting plaster...

2010-08-05T15:45:24.216-04:00

If you've never been fired for getting plastered at a company event, you aren't a bro

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/drunk-driver...

2010-06-24T16:09:05.971-04:00

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/drunk-driver-has-beer-after-car-flip/story-e6freuy9-1225883252386

this fuckin guy straight broing

oh and fuck TBFL your a faggot, using words like q...

2010-05-16T13:45:45.983-04:00

oh and fuck TBFL your a faggot, using words like quip and eclectic? definitely a hipster trying to impersonate a bro. NYB is the true bro-god

browboarder, snowboarding drunk is one of the most...

2010-05-16T13:42:51.756-04:00

browboarder, snowboarding drunk is one of the most bro things you can do. since your a bro your obviously the best one on the mountain and only get better by getting fucked up. my personal favorite is this last winter i went up to northstar at tahoe with my bro my older brother and some of his bro college friends because im still in hs. we brought up like 4 30 packs and 3 handles of popov (cheap ass vodka) for two nights. we also brought atleast an O of weed between us. we got trashed every night and went to the rec center which has a hottub and would hit on slampieces and then wake up hungover as shit smoke bowls while rolling up some blunts for on the mountain. took some beers a waterbottle of vodka and the blunts we had rolled. hotboxed the gondola, got off and the attendant looked at us as fellow bros because he was high as shit too. just go off into the trees and smoke a blunt and drink some beers and youll be chillin

24 hour Cancer Walk? YES

2010-05-16T02:43:42.038-04:00

24 hour Cancer Walk?

YES

Fucking moms weekend is the shit to be wasted. Did...

2010-04-24T21:16:22.233-04:00

Fucking moms weekend is the shit to be wasted. Did my mom know about this shit? Fuck no! Then I couldn't be wasted since noon on the flat (frat) roof shouting at the fucking bro-haters going to the craft show. The fucking best was some bro's mom who shotgunned a KL Smooth in front of everyone and then smoked a bowl with me and my bros.

Bros are the shit

Drank 8 beers before class, sent my teacher an ema...

2010-04-20T16:03:54.873-04:00

Drank 8 beers before class, sent my teacher an email at the bar saying i had personal problems. Did 3 shots of bourbon before class. I just like being fucked up in class.

i get wasted er day with my bro before school, and...

2010-03-23T16:20:48.780-04:00

i get wasted er day with my bro before school, and then laugh at the teachers alll class and they go along with it. great bro chills when your drunk in class

made BILLS over summer last year working at some b...

2010-02-07T21:53:10.500-05:00

made BILLS over summer last year working at some bullshit kids summer camp...was head of 7-8 year olds and got fucked up everyday...personal blunt at lunch time and gin and tonics all day equaled a hell of a summer.actually kicked my roommates little brother out of camp for "being a douchebag" when i was blacked out one day...i quit that shit tho because i dont work talent shows on thirsty thursdays

Best part of getting wasted in innappropriate plac...

2010-02-01T11:12:20.769-05:00

Best part of getting wasted in innappropriate places is that it often times leads to drinking and driving, and everyone knows, mad bro cred to mix more than one thing bros love

I'm fuckin hamer drunk and I have a term paper...

2010-02-01T01:46:07.468-05:00

I'm fuckin hamer drunk and I have a term paper due tomorrow. Yeah about that....

TBFL you are against all that is bro. NYB is a tru...

2010-01-31T23:50:40.387-05:00

TBFL you are against all that is bro. NYB is a true bro who knows how to operate, you on the other hand probably only fuck with 1.5's and would choose odouls over a cold natty ice anyday.

before heading out the door for a 7:30 AM breakfas...

2010-01-25T22:22:35.152-05:00

before heading out the door for a 7:30 AM breakfast with girlfriend and her friends, i chugged 2/3 of a water bottle of vodka, adding to my already being drunk from the night before. While at breakfast, I dropped the eggs on my pants...numerous times. it was excellent.

I just read this drunk. Hilarious.

2010-01-25T12:49:37.896-05:00

I just read this drunk. Hilarious.

Whoever said cope is for hicks and is not bro why ...

2010-01-11T21:57:56.913-05:00

Whoever said cope is for hicks and is not bro why don't you go throw ina skoal pouch you fucking faggot

coworker asked me to go to an aa meeting with her,...

2010-01-11T14:21:35.057-05:00

coworker asked me to go to an aa meeting with her, got shitfaced before i went.

I feel that man. us bros love gettin fucked up whe...

2010-01-06T20:51:37.223-05:00

I feel that man. us bros love gettin fucked up whenever we can. me and my fellow bros were on a 7 days drunk run just before christmas eve when my fellow bro decided he was gonna get fucked up before church. His mom made him go, and yes us bro's hate going to church. He passed out in mid sermon and that was the end of his church experience. i doubt he has to go to church anymore.

BROPENHAGEN long cut wintergreen is solid while th...

2009-12-25T15:36:56.500-05:00

BROPENHAGEN long cut wintergreen is solid while the price is low, but back to SKOAL after that, and theres always RED MAN to satisfy the tobacco fix...

one time i was having a chaw, and this 18 year old slam piece walked up and asked if i wanted to hit up the bed room so i did, we went in there started fuckin, i spat my red man in her ass from above while fucking her doggy and used the chaw spit as lube, she loved it and got a crazy buzz apparently