Comments on Bros Like This Site: #105 Lying

It's like Archer says: "Lying is like 95%...

2012-01-09T14:44:38.763-05:00

It's like Archer says: "Lying is like 95% of what I do."

Also, if you haven't seen Archer, go watch season 1 on netflix now. The whole show is based around the world conforming to how sweet of a bro he is.

Spot on NYB - lying is the shit. Especially lying ...

2011-03-29T00:15:56.915-04:00

Spot on NYB - lying is the shit. Especially lying to slampieces.

In college, I happened to have the same last name as the Dean (was not actually related to him in any way). But I told slams at parties that I was his son. Why? Because every sorostitute has at least one class they are failing, and these dumb bitches thought that slurping my Bro Pole was a sure-fire way to get their grade successfully appealed. At least two of the slams I banged based on this lie thought that our fuck-sesh had saved their ass from expulsion, only to have their walking papers sent home to mom and dad at the end of the semester anyway. Man I would have loved to have seen the hysterical shitshow that ensued when those hoes arrived home that summer only to find two parents furiously wondering where the fuck their thirty grand went. Hahahaha.

Was it wrong of me to deceive them like this? Fuck no - if they didn't want to be lied to, they shouldn't have been born with two X chromosome. Bros will be lying to them their whole lives anyway - I'm just keeping the universe in order. Buyer beware, ladies.

Bro Life.

Slam in bed: "But you don't care about me...

2010-02-22T15:38:34.083-05:00

Slam in bed: "But you don't care about me when you're sober"
Me: "Oh, come on"
Slam: (moans) "Do whatever you want to me" (more moans and slurping on the sizzurp)

Kicked out at 6AM and number deleted

Broseiden/Cory, that was a really good story.

2010-02-19T11:45:36.969-05:00

Broseiden/Cory, that was a really good story.

Great shit. I remember my 3rd sophomore year at L...

2010-02-18T11:57:09.739-05:00

Great shit. I remember my 3rd sophomore year at LSU, my parents were under the impression I was a senior, my girlfriend was under the impression that I was a senior (and that I loved her) all the while, I was slaying slam-babies left and right behind her back, collecting checks from parents, fratting it up hardcore on a nightly basis, getting slam fucking wasted, being a piece of shit AKA a fucking bro king, and basically just dominating life. I was even caught plagiarizing on my final exam by my bro-hating, bitch of a teacher. Googled some shit for whatever the fuck I was supposed to write on, and then naturally copied the entire first article that showed up and tried to pass it off as my own thoughts.

She tried to have me expelled, I had to meet the dean of the college, etc. And of course, much like I had lied to my girlfriend, slam babies, and parents, I lied to the dean as well. Told him I was having extreme emotional problems from a death in the family, and that I couldn't cope with them properly, and that it wasn't my fault.

He understood, let me go, and I was allowed to drop the course, even though the semester was already over.

too bad that didn't work in all of my other classes....a few weeks later I was back in Houston, done at LSU, girlfriend had finally wised up to the true piece of shit Bro King I am (it only too her 3 years...the dumb bitch)

and those 4 glorious, hedonistic months were completely worth it...wouldn't change a thing

Trey that was a really good story

2010-02-17T17:11:28.419-05:00

Trey that was a really good story

My favorite is when you go up to visit your older ...

2010-02-16T13:45:02.330-05:00

My favorite is when you go up to visit your older bro at his frat house during their Christmas party. Of course, I told my parents I was staying at my bros house just down the street, when magically, I found myself two and a half hours away sitting in my older bros futon with this hot ass slam piece. Of course the question arises "How old are you?" and "Are you in Sigma Chi?". Fucking of course I am and I am a junior duh you fucking bitch. When in all actuality, I am a senior in high school. Being WAY too drunk, I actually gave out my phone number..SHIT! She's been texting me shit like "party tonight? :)" and "Let's hang out again tonight! Last time was a lot of fun!" Fuck that shit bro.

http://indianaodyssey.com/author/kasikbrenner Che...

2010-02-16T00:17:14.749-05:00

http://indianaodyssey.com/author/kasikbrenner

Check out the posts by these bros at IU. These kids truly know how to bro it out.

So back in the day my bro Paul was visiting his fi...

2010-02-15T23:46:03.926-05:00

So back in the day my bro Paul was visiting his first choice, Wake Forest. Naturally, because we're bros, we went to a prominent prep school so we have connections at all major ACC schools. So my bro Paul stays with a bro of ours who was senior at Wake at the time, and a clear figure head in his frat. Naturally the frat threw down while Paul was there, like they do for all D1 recruits. Anyways, Paul steals this slampiece from this bro-hater by telling her he was a junior at the University of Richmond and that their athletic center was donated by his father, needless to say she went down on him and took him back to her room. This chick wanted him to use protection so he lied about how he took a bad pitch to the boys the one day he wasn't wearing a cup at practice and was now permanently sterile. The chick was so sympathetic she got her roommate to go down on Paul as well, and then he slayed both of them at once. He was even nice enough to get their numbers and "call" them the next time he was in town. Thus living up to his title as one of the greatest bros to ever walk the streets of DC.

great post. One of my bros was driving around at 2...

2010-02-15T18:10:54.767-05:00

great post. One of my bros was driving around at 2 in the morning on a ride on lawn mower faded and got stopped by the cops. he gave them the name of some loser he knew and they let him go because they could tell he was a huge bro.

http://www.dailygamecock.com/viewpoints/harris-irr...

2010-02-15T16:35:26.434-05:00

http://www.dailygamecock.com/viewpoints/harris-irreplaceable-component-of-the-deadliest-catch-1.1126532

Make sure you post on this bro-haters newest article so they'll take it down like the last one bilbro posted above.

too bad south carolina was here before faggy ass s...

2010-02-15T12:56:17.661-05:00

too bad south carolina was here before faggy ass so cal. going to school in a state that allows fags to get married is most definitely NOT BRO i would go on to say that besides legal weed, california is probably the least bro state in the contiguous us. by the way that daily gamecock paper is an entire publication dedicated to bro hating. seriously. but as for university of so cal. the only thing bremotely cool about your school is the fact that yall are called the trojans, and that turtle goes there. i guess everyone at so cal is just a fat ass softy who never gets laid and dresses like timbaland.... oh and california is all new money. i.e. white trash with some pocket change.

Lying to girls is should be the fucking 11th Comma...

2010-02-14T21:32:23.767-05:00

Lying to girls is should be the fucking 11th Commandment. My "go to" move is when you're about to slay some chick and for some reason the lights are off, and she asks you to throw on a condom, so you pull a dollar bill out of your pocket and crumple it so it sounds like a condom wrapper, then you take the chick down raw dog. And if you're a true bro, she'll be so in the zone that she won't even notice.

For those of you that have never heard of this move before, you're welcome.

University of South Carolina? The REAL USC? Give m...

2010-02-13T02:33:24.694-05:00

University of South Carolina? The REAL USC? Give me a fucking break! Let's see... would a bro rather go to school in South Carolina aka uglygirlville, or have their rich ass parents send them to school in LA, the land of #69 Fake Tits and dumb slam pieces who are so insecure because of #95 Models walking around everywhere that they're practically doing backflips just to put out? Yeah, you tell me which one sounds better. Fucking bro-hater. The University of Southern California is the real USC.

Holy shit bilbro baggins, that dude needs to get L...

2010-02-12T14:27:11.756-05:00

Holy shit bilbro baggins, that dude needs to get LAID

Lying is so fucking bro it's not funny. I'...

2010-02-12T14:03:53.844-05:00

Lying is so fucking bro it's not funny. I'm glad this made the list. Lying to dumb slampieces is the shit. Lying to cops is the shit. Lying to anyone is the shit. And bros are the shit.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sns-viral-brees-bar-st...

2010-02-12T13:56:25.141-05:00

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sns-viral-brees-bar-story,0,6945754.htmlstory

Drew Brees is a straight bro

The F*ing hater is from Winston Salem, NC... near ...

2010-02-12T00:30:20.339-05:00

The F*ing hater is from Winston Salem, NC... near Wake Forest (major bro campus full of slam pieces), UNC, and Duke... all much better schools which he obviously couldn't get into. This DBag is obviously a jealous bro hater without any future and obviously belongs in his sorry ass visual communications major.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/changing-words-to-sh...

2010-02-11T22:37:32.167-05:00

http://www.facebook.com/pages/changing-words-to-show-that-youre-bro-as-sht/338503036110?v=info&ref=ts

Bros are the shit.

I am about to go do some serious lying to my rents...

2010-02-11T15:40:39.776-05:00

I am about to go do some serious lying to my rents about why I need more money. Lying comes natural to us bro (because we are the smartest people on the fucking planet). Like I would fucking tell my mom I blew 550 bucks at the bars in the two weeks back at school. Fuck that, obviously I just couldn't get any of my books used and had to fill up my gas tank 8 times because of all the driving I've been doing for community service. Of course they are going to buy that shit. Parents have no clue what the fuck is going on most of the time.

my parents tried to fuckin tell me that they would...

2010-02-11T13:29:05.851-05:00

my parents tried to fuckin tell me that they wouldnt give me any money unless i had a job...so for the past 5 years of college my parents have been feeding me cash thinking that im detailing cars...and what have i been doing...smoking and drinking everyday instead. Parents are fucking idiots

how do you pick up a haitian girl?..... with a ...

2010-02-11T13:20:18.075-05:00

how do you pick up a haitian girl?.....

with a bulldozer

great post NYB

Classic bro, I fuckin love lying to slam pieces!

2010-02-11T13:15:48.350-05:00

Classic bro, I fuckin love lying to slam pieces!

JJ Brodick: I think it should be a blog about ho...

2010-02-11T11:24:19.396-05:00

JJ Brodick:

I think it should be a blog about how much Bros LOVE Valentines day.... And i'm not talking about the 'take one girl you've been dating out to a nice dinner' valentines day. I'm talking about the 'every single slam piece goes out drinking feeling inadequate with shattered self-esteem' valentines day.

I am sorry anonymous, as great as that would be I ...

2010-02-11T09:42:08.763-05:00

I am sorry anonymous, as great as that would be I find it hard to believe. There is a difference between lying and going back on the ground work of what makes a bro...a bro. No self-respecting bro could ever bring himself to slander his people like that. The daily gamecock bro-hater needs to get a good ass-kicking.