Comments on Bros Like This Site: #38 Being Better Than Poor People

wtf are you doing shopping at whole foods.... Who...

2011-06-23T15:50:55.215-04:00

wtf are you doing shopping at whole foods....

Whole Foods is meant for feminists and bro-haters

Any one of you guys can become poor in your lifeti...

2010-11-29T17:54:30.007-05:00

Any one of you guys can become poor in your lifetime. Many homeless people suffer from mental health issues. For instance many homeless men are veterans who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Another good move - when being approached by said ...

2010-11-05T11:15:15.757-04:00

Another good move - when being approached by said poor person, before they can get a word in, (and because you know exactly what they going to fucking ask you), say "hey bud you got some change I can get?" man does this REALLY fuck with bums..it works great..i've actually gotten some change that way too, but i threw it right back at em and told em to get a job cause i dont need their worthless change, i'm rich, i'm a bro

Anonymous you are a GDI bro hater. No true bro ne...

2010-09-18T13:45:38.693-04:00

Anonymous you are a GDI bro hater. No true bro needs to sell bud to pay for fraternity dues. New Bro money is from having a high end finance or sales job. Any idiot with plastic bags and a scale could make money selling weed. Selling bud is for GDI minorities and the kids who were "weeded out". Pun intended.

I disagree with the anonymous bro-hater who believ...

2010-08-05T04:05:08.876-04:00

I disagree with the anonymous bro-hater who believes that fraternity dues are used to weed out the bro's who don't have money from getting into their bro-ternity. Yes, I came from a poor and broken family because I fucked up my parents by being born. But as NYB said, I took responsibility. I pledged and immediately looked for a job. I thought, "What am I good at?" Initially I had thought that I could hustle people in drinking games. That worked, but didn't bring in nearly enough cash to lead the lifestyle of brand name bro-clothes and the finest alcohol. I won't tell my fucking bro-hating father to give me money because he's a anti-bro cock jockey, so I thought to myself, "What would a true bro do?" I took my money from drinking people under the table, and bought myself an ounce of the finest buds. I flipped it, flipped it again, and continued to flip until I had enough money to buy myself a BMW, pay my dues, and have beer money for the next six months. NYB, you should follow this up with an article discriminating between Old-Bro money (dad having money) and New-Bro money (bro's making their own money so they can maintain bro-lifestyles). Bro's can start out poor, but it's bro as shit when you say fuck everyone else and bro so hard that you can pay for all your own shit without working (a real job). And props on the 2.7 without going to class. I'm on the same track.

This the best title ive ever seen on this site. Br...

2010-07-02T01:57:29.892-04:00

This the best title ive ever seen on this site. Bros are way fuckin better then poor people and anyone else for that matter. Making fun of poor people is the fuckin shit

I look forward to your Final Judgment...and if tha...

2010-06-30T02:46:57.532-04:00

I look forward to your Final Judgment...and if that doesn't scare you, it should.

So one day in high school I won a hundred dollars ...

2010-06-14T21:03:27.640-04:00

So one day in high school I won a hundred dollars in a raffle in our auditorium for obviously being the biggest bro in the building. After school I drove past a bum standing beside the b-road begging for money. I slowed down when I got to him, flashed the bill and said "take it". He came up to my car all wide eyed and as he went to take it I yelled "Psych!!!!" and drove away. Get a job bum.

Hey anonymous: Money does determine one's wort...

2010-05-10T16:04:32.387-04:00

Hey anonymous: Money does determine one's worth. Last time I checked, a homeless person does not have much influence/value/worth in today's society. Bros love Capitalism because it has allowed our parents to be rich as shit hence providing us with a nice trust fund. This results in us getting fucked up all the time and slaying slampieces whenever we feel like it. It is evident that you came from the vagina of a bull-dyke who put you up for adoption because she even knew you would grow into a complete failure. Stick to your day jobs which most likely consist of blogging about the evils of "Corporate America" and jerking off to anime but stay the hell off this site.

p.s Bros are the shit.

FUCK OFF YOU CAPITALISTIC PIGS! Money does NOT det...

2010-05-02T13:17:54.791-04:00

FUCK OFF YOU CAPITALISTIC PIGS!
Money does NOT determine the worth of some one nor does any thing they own.
Dicks like you who use your wealth as a reason to be total assholes to people that are less fortunate are horrible people.

I was partying in Minneapolis one night and as I w...

2010-04-26T23:00:26.464-04:00

I was partying in Minneapolis one night and as I was walking home a homeless guy asked me for change, so i walked over to him with a 20 in my hand and asked if he had change....he didn't, then he had the nerve to tell me to fuck off, what a dick.

this is bullshit. public trasnportation is the bes...

2010-03-02T21:07:52.507-05:00

this is bullshit. public trasnportation is the best. cheap as hell and probably safer to take if you're going to be fucked up on the way home

I always like to play fetch with poor people. Just...

2010-01-19T09:26:25.434-05:00

I always like to play fetch with poor people. Just take out the change and throw it down the street. If they want it, they can run after it. Fucking bums are pathetic.

My favorite line when pestered the homeless is to ...

2009-10-27T16:27:13.487-04:00

My favorite line when pestered the homeless is to tell them, "Sorry, I only have fifties."

I was once in the shit hole known as Hartford, CT ...

2009-08-24T19:06:14.611-04:00

I was once in the shit hole known as Hartford, CT drinking at some pile of shit bar ( I was ended up there b/c I was blacked out). And at some point in the night I go outside to have a cigg and according to my bro (I don't remember shit b/c the bar served cheap LITER double IPA's). Some homeless bitch approaches me for money. What's my response? Being from Manhattan apparently it was "In New York you would be DEAD right now." Then I proceeded to flip through about $400 in $20 bills and find a single dollar bill, which I then threw on the ground.

Other good objections for use to the advances from...

2009-08-24T15:31:05.944-04:00

Other good objections for use to the advances from dirty street mutants:

"Sorry, I only carry hundreds."

"Fuck you."

Or before they can open their shit-stained mouth, you preemptively ask "do you have any change I can borrow? I'm just trying to get a hot meal" the look on their face is priceless. This line works better when you're sporting a suit (which you of course put on simply for going out, but obviously you lie to every piece of meat you hit on at the bar, something along the lines of, "ya, we had a late meeting tonight," or "on a business trip, we just finished up at Morton's" etc)

Or you go into the Patrick Bateman sequence from American Psycho (all true bros know every line to this movie/book by the way) Bum asks you for change. You go into it from there:

You pull out some money and dangle it in their face. "Is that what you need? Why don't you get a job? If you're so hungry, why don't you get a job? Were you drinking? Is that why you lost your job? Insider trading? What's your name? Come on, speak up! Get a goddam job Al! You've got a negative attitude, that's what's stopping you! You need to get your act together, I'll help you!" if you have a knife, wave it in their face at this point, or you can just walk away. Maybe kill them, not that anyone cares.

Or you beat the shit out of the street mutant. Fuck him, he shouldn't be on the street anyways, he's fucking loitering and there are no cops around, so I have to take care of business. I owe it to society to uphold the law. That's my justification, even though I obviously dont give a shit.

Bros can justify anything.

Or light the money on fire, and use it to light your cigar while they watch.

This one time this bra i was slammin wanted me to ...

2009-08-13T20:52:48.072-04:00

This one time this bra i was slammin wanted me to take her on a romantic date, I took her to hooters, a homeless guy outside asked me if i had a dollar, I said "yea, I have millions of em" then went off to enjoy my favorite sport team on 52 flat screens, indulge in food, and objectify women.

Bro... When those down and outers say "... sp...

2009-08-05T06:22:43.706-04:00

Bro... When those down and outers say "... spare change.." respond with "...no you keep it, i have pockets full of cash..." they love it

what private high school did you go to?

2009-08-04T01:20:28.638-04:00

what private high school did you go to?

When my 8-year-old brother was approached by a hom...

2009-07-29T16:33:53.182-04:00

When my 8-year-old brother was approached by a homeless man on the street a couple years back, he was asked, "Do you have any change?" His response: "Yes." The poor shitbucket continues, "Can I have some?" My brother stares him in the eye, says no, and walks away. I have never been prouder of my little bro.

Best game to play with homeless people (or any str...

2009-07-22T17:11:58.928-04:00

Best game to play with homeless people (or any street dwellers for that matter) is PEE-DOLLAR! Just take a dollar bill (who cares about a dollar, a real bro shits dollar bills) and have someone piss all over it then place it across the street on the sidewalk from the porch you and all your bros are drinking on and just sit and wait for some poor fuck to pick it up and shove it in thier pocket - fucking hysterical

this game is amazing, second only to the ultimate drinking/poor person game - POOP DOLLAR...

Awesome NYB. But you forgot one thing that has sin...

2009-07-16T16:19:55.217-04:00

Awesome NYB. But you forgot one thing that has since the beginning of time has distinguished bros from fucking poor people on the street. Boats. Boats say a few things about a bro. 1) He or his Dad is fucking loaded. 2) He likes to booze. You will never find a bro on a boat without a handle or a 30-bomb. 3) He is luring in slam pieces. Slam pieces like going out on boats because they don’t have to wear any clothes and they look much cooler hanging out with a boat full of bros.

2 bras one homeless man's change cup. It doesn...

2009-07-01T14:46:28.820-04:00

2 bras one homeless man's change cup. It doesn't get more bro than that.

ok then....i retract my previous statement. bros ...

2009-06-26T10:56:09.477-04:00

ok then....i retract my previous statement.

bros are the shit

Well, first, when your bros are not poor you get y...

2009-06-26T10:41:12.083-04:00

Well, first, when your bros are not poor you get your tickets for free from their companies/rich parents. I have been to 20+ games and have never paid. Second, you don't go to the games to watch - you go to get fucked up. After tailgating until the 4th inning we sat in our club seats for 1 inning, then went to the bar for the rest of the game. Plus, slam pieces fucking love baseball.