Comments on Bros Like This Site: #23 Drinking and Driving

SO I KNOW ITS NOT COOL TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BUT I H...

2012-01-10T07:18:53.599-05:00

SO I KNOW ITS NOT COOL TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BUT I HAVE THE ULTIMATE FUCKING BRO DRUNK DRIVING STORY. YOU WONT FUCKING BELIEVE IT! So me and some bros are in Tijuana, Mexico slammin some major latin pieces with our broners. We obviously get completely shit hammered and even hit up a farmacia to really get down with these putas. Anyways, while were there we meet some American bras too who need a ride cause they took the trolley there. As a true bro, we took my car. So were on the way back and I'm drunk and all fucked up with a car full of fucked up bros and bras, pulling up to the fuckin US-Mexico border. I pull up and the cop asks me, "what nationality are you" and I say, "African American" even though I'm a fuckin white bro. He laughs and leans in and asks everyone the same, my bros are so wasted they're slurring and were all under 21 btw, hence going to TJ. He goes you 2 step out of the vehicle, long story short they both have to go downtown to the drunk tank leaving me with 2 bras left in the car. They don't even suspect me and I drive off. Next part is even crazier. TRUST ME! So I'm driving back to the college me and the bras go to and I'm mad-swerving my vehicle and right as I'm pulling into the parking garage, almost home free, theres a fuckin blockade of cop cars stopping me from going in. Its a drunk driving checkpoint!! So they get me and the 2 bras out of the car and before they're asking me all these questions and things aren't lookin good for me. Then all of this sudden I hear them yell "shes got a meth pipe!" One of the bras smuggled a pipe and a shit ton of meth back from Mexico I'm like WTF? Then the officer comes up to me and he's all "we've been after her actually she's been selling a bunch of students here meth. Weve even had an undercover officer following her and other dealers." Then he lifts his eye brows and does this weird eye twitch. I fuckin do it back and I say, "I'll be on my way then." He said "ok" and I parked my car and walked home. TRUE FUCKIN STORY, DONT BELIEVE IT? SDSU HAD A HUGE DRUG RAID FEW MONTH LATER NATIONAL NEWS GOOGLE IT. Thank you for reading the best bro drunk driving story ever.

Peace Bros

every bro knows to take a couple key bumps before ...

2011-12-07T15:32:33.475-05:00

every bro knows to take a couple key bumps before that drive.. works everytime.

Left the bar, pretending not to be as wasted as i ...

2011-11-29T19:44:10.436-05:00

Left the bar, pretending not to be as wasted as i real was to make myself feel better. cruisin. takin backways. spot a cop with his headlights off... i speed up the hill, turn on a side street.. pull into a driveway.. turn lights off.. cop flys by with his sirens. bro strategy

Bro, this one time after the Chicago Blackhawks wo...

2011-11-28T11:18:53.613-05:00

Bro, this one time after the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup and me and my bros got wasted off Irish Car Bombs and tequila shots all night, I got in my car to drive home and got pulled over and arrested and given a DUI.

Great story.

I generally find all your posts funny as shit. I j...

2011-11-20T00:20:25.150-05:00

I generally find all your posts funny as shit. I just came across this one and honestly it's fucked up. Whether or not you're joking, some kid is going to read this, take it seriously, and kill himself. How about a story?

I work part time as an EMT when I have some time between partying and training for the Marine Corps. A couple weeks ago, I hopped of the ambulance at a car accident. It was about 1:00 AM. At one car, the cops had a dude (clearly drunk as shit, blew a .32) handcuffed. He had a cut on his face, but other than that he was fine so I walked over to the other car...The driver was obviously dead from traumatic asphyxia. His 8 year old son was sitting in the back seat crying "Dad please wake up".

Turns out that the guy in the other car was a junior in college driving to his girlfriend's house. He swerved into the other lane. The father swerved to avoid him, hit a tree, and died within minutes. He was driving his son home from a fishing trip they had taken that weekend.

I'm not a bro hater and I'm not some uptight douche, but if you had heard that kid crying in the backseat, none of you would be posting these ridiculous comments. It's not funny.

^ You're an idiot. When you drink and drive I ...

2011-10-31T16:26:51.955-04:00

^ You're an idiot. When you drink and drive I can only hope you hit a tree or drive off a cliff instead ruining other peoples lives by killing their family or friend.

^Shut up, bro-hater. We're Bros, which means t...

2011-10-20T03:23:10.951-04:00

^Shut up, bro-hater. We're Bros, which means the convenience we gain from driving drunk outweighs the risk to anyone else's life. They're non-bro's anyway, which means our life is worth infinitely more than theirs to begin with.

Honestly people might hate but whatev this site is...

2011-10-19T22:38:32.236-04:00

Honestly people might hate but whatev this site is hilarious and all, but d and d is bullshit and people get killed because of it. bro or not, whoeve supports d and d 's in my book are risking other peoples lives... and thats not cool

As if my boat driving, buoy retrieving, pipe ditch...

2011-10-18T02:46:19.527-04:00

As if my boat driving, buoy retrieving, pipe ditching, bra slamming story wasn't indicative enough of the fact that I am a fucking badass I'll proffer one more tale of debauchery from my undergrad days. I was at a pretty legit party and one of my bros got a sudden craving for some Jack in the crack so as a good bro, I offered to drive despite the fact that I was at least 7 shots deep. We hopped in the aforementioned WRX and my bro brought his 30 bomb of Stones with him. He was so drunk that he caused a scene in the drive through but we got our food and headed back to the party. I got pulled over like 70 yards from the house (in plain view of everyone in the front yard who then quickly summoned everyone to come see what was going down). My bro slammed his open beer and managed to stuff the box under the seat and locked it up pretty damn good. The cops told us that they had gotten a call from Jack in the Box that we were drinking. I passed the sobriety tests (in plain view of everyone at the party) like a fucking champ because I'm fucking athletic as fuck and I told them that I was on prescription pain killers for a surgery that I had recently had. They let me go and I went back to the party and got a fucking standing ovation. Obviously I blacked out, and drove home. I found out the next day that I had managed to produce the greatest gem Boise State University has ever witnessed. I asked my bro if he wanted a ride home, and he asked me if I was OK to drive. I said no, but that it was easier to drive when drunk than walk. I made it home, perfectly parked in my spot, opened the door and fell out into the parking lot and passed out. Fuck you cops, I am fucking sick. Also, fuck you Jack in the Box, I will never patronize your anti fun establishment again fucking bro-hating pussies. Its not my fault that I my parents have cash and I don't have to work at a fucking fast-food restaurant on a Friday night.

I had just gotten a sick WRX and had been entertai...

2011-10-18T02:10:47.057-04:00

I had just gotten a sick WRX and had been entertaining clients all day on my parents' new boat. After blacking out all day on the boat my last conscious memory was remembering that I had forgotten a buoy at the bar across the lake so I kicked everyone off (except one of my bras) and headed off into the sunset to retrieve the buoy. Next thing I know I black back in and I'm doing 360's bouncing off guardrails and my car ends up facing the wrong way on the offramp. My car won't start so I bail and run to a buddy's house nearby and pass out. Ended up only getting a leaving the scene ticket because I somehow had the wherewithal to ditch my pipe as I bailed because I am fucking sick. I also parked the boat at our dock fucking perfectly with that buoy obviously in place. Found out later that I had driven from our condo to my bro's, slammed my bra, and took several vicious resin knifers before I stumbled into my car, drove, and got into said accident. Also, I got 20k from my insurance and upgraded to a Benz.

I've been drinking and driving since I've ...

2011-10-10T22:01:53.961-04:00

I've been drinking and driving since I've first took up the wheel about two years ago, and I can honestly say I'm really not proud to be a fucking french Canadian. You couldn't find juicier pussies than those cocksuckers we got everywhere in our colleges (which we call Cegeps). NYB, you probably are the very only source of motivation to drink and drive I've had in my whole fucking life. I've been called a fucking asshole thousand times, just for blacking out, making fat bitches cry, fighting and fucking driving back home after that. I have to thank you.

someone posted this on facebook so i thought this ...

2011-09-16T16:40:16.296-04:00

someone posted this on facebook so i thought this was a joke until i read the comments underneath. This is the most insanely stupid thing i can think of anyone doing is supporting drunk driving. It is possibly the most selfish thing a person can do. For the people supporting this "bro"-cool shit of drunk driving and saying it'c cool, you can go crash into a tree or crash into each other. stop endangering other people. It frightens me to see how many people think this is a cool thing to do.

This is so stupid. I don't think any of you wo...

2011-09-14T10:54:52.030-04:00

This is so stupid. I don't think any of you would think this post is "bad ass" when its your dad, mom, brother, sister or friend who got hit by one of these idiots who drink and drive. Real bros don't let other bros drink and drive. Who ever thinks otherwise are fuck ups and aren't going anywhere in life.

So This one time I was in the down at a pond party...

2011-09-03T13:37:26.704-04:00

So This one time I was in the down at a pond party(like a beach party but with a pond). When this slam piece wanted my nuts when she got off work at 5am. Seeing how its going on 4am and ive been pounding beers all night i said fuck it why the fuck not. I hop in my truck and end up #142 Blacking Out on the way to her work. I wake up at 7am with my door open, parked infront of her work, and cops standing like 20 feet from my car.

needless to say i didnt get any ass that night.

Bro, so new years eve comes obviously were raging ...

2011-08-17T16:52:34.164-04:00

Bro,
so new years eve comes obviously were raging our fucking asses off as bros nomrally do. and of course the host is making sure there is no drinking and driving. being the DDD (designated drunk driver) obviously i wasnt planning on staying sober and driving homet that night, i mean how am i gonna get to my 2 am booty call if i have no car. so walking into her house the fairly retarded drunk of a host asks whos driving and to take the keys of the driver. i give her my keys cuz thats obviously the responsible thing to do...NOT. give her some stupid lego keys that a fucking monkey could tell was not the keys to a 2010 infiniti. midnight comes around and im off to my booty call driving the drunker than a steve taking beer bongs up his ass. Drinking and driving is a way of life, keep bro'n

My favorite is when you wake up with a brutal hang...

2011-07-19T00:09:13.176-04:00

My favorite is when you wake up with a brutal hangover and don't remember driving, so you call a bro over to drive you to your car and when he comes and tells you your car is in the driveway. Like how the fuck did I make it home typa shit

Bros, here's a story you DC motherfuckers will...

2011-07-08T21:26:08.629-04:00

Bros, here's a story you DC motherfuckers will appreciate. A few years ago me and my bro went to a Taco Bell, loaded up on fuckin' tacos and shit, got a big ass jumbo size cup of pepsi, poured half that shit out and filled it up with vodka. Then we got some 40s, and drove from our rich fucking town in Northern Virginia on Route 66 into DC, chugging them 40s and throwing the empties out the window, and drinking that fucking vodka.

When we got to the Black Cat in DC with the soda and vodka cup still in our hands, the bouncer told us to get rid of the cup. We could have thrown the cup away and got in, but since we weren't gay little pussies, we told that bouncer to shut the fuck up. I called him a fat chink, and my bro knocked his glasses off his face while everyone around us cheered. Anyway needless to say that bro hater didn't let us in, so we chugged that vodka and laid around on the sidewalk shouting at the slampieces that walked by. Woke up the next morning on my couch with my bro on the other couch who turns to me and goes "bro, I don't even fucking remember how we got here."

Drinking, driving on the highway, fighting pussy bouncers, and yelling at slampieces. Bros are the motherfucking shit.

last week one of my bros from high school opened a...

2011-07-06T13:55:43.364-04:00

last week one of my bros from high school opened a bar in the suburbs (45 miles away from down town Chicago, where i live)Anyway I drove out there knowing i was going to get fucked up, but figured that i would just meet a girl that lives by there and crash at her place... Aafter hours of getting free shots and not paying for a single beer i blacked the fuck out. The next morning i woke up naked in some girls bed that i never meet b4 , and after she gave me the play by play of all the ass-hole things i was doing the night b4 i realized that i was about a mile away from my apartment and that i drove 45 miles blacked out and went to a 4 a.m bar because the bars in the burbs close at 2...

Clearly that console beside my drivers seat is to ...

2011-06-02T18:14:32.102-04:00

Clearly that console beside my drivers seat is to be treated as a cooler. What the fuck else would it be for? DD or "adventure driving" needs a steady fuel supply to be properly experienced. Having only one free hand to operate the vehicle can also help take the exercise up to proper bro-cred if other boosters like major highway, middle of the day, heavy traffic, etc. aren't available to give a bro the challenge he needs.

I have been pulled over on suspicion twice, lied my ass off, and refused to perform all roadside tests or give a breath sample. By the time I get cuffed, driven to the station, and take advantage of the mandatory 20mins before you can give a sample to the breath unit at the station, Warmachine (my liver) does his magic. There's not much as satisfying as chilling in the back of a cruiser with the cuffs off while the arresting officer has to chauffeur you back to your ride.

We have one bro in our crew that drives drunk regu...

2011-05-27T13:13:19.971-04:00

We have one bro in our crew that drives drunk regularly. He doesn't drive the speed limit or come to complete stops. You better believe that he cranks the music, drives as fast as possible, and of course is texting slampieces. One night he drove home from a summer party tanked. Near his house he saw a nice open soccer field. Seeing it was 3 AM and he had nothing else to do, he cut some donuts in that fucking soccer field. The next day he was riding with his father into town and his father saw the ruts in the grass. Having also seen the dirt and grass on his son's car, all he could so was shake his head in approval. He was proud to see that he had created a son much like himself, a true bro.

this woman came to my high school before senior pr...

2011-05-24T11:35:58.852-04:00

this woman came to my high school before senior prom. she drove drunk to her prom a few years prior and killed two people. she was serving hard time for manslaughter....this really turned me off driving drunk...

...until i realized taco bell was open until 4am.

One problem with this article, I'm in DC, and ...

2011-05-11T22:04:54.831-04:00

One problem with this article, I'm in DC, and DC is not a "big city", Bros need to fact check bros.

Usually when I know i'm driving drunk home, I ...

2011-04-21T12:32:19.484-04:00

Usually when I know i'm driving drunk home, I try not to puke .

One party i broke this rule, gave my friend the keys.

i had to call my friend how i got home in the AM. And my balls dropped to the floor when he said I drove us lolololol

Bro's FTW!

last summer me and my bros threw a huge party at t...

2011-04-12T11:50:14.391-04:00

last summer me and my bros threw a huge party at this house we were staying at a couple blocks from our college campus...we made copious amounts of jungle juice and shit was getting out of control, slampieces were getting railed in the upstairs beds it was epic...the cops eventually came and arrested a bunch of brohaters but obviously didnt touch us bros. Anyway everybody started passing out but I had to meet up with a slampiece on the other side of campus. Shitfaced I grabbed my keys and walked out no questions asked by my bros. This is where the blackout begins. I came too 2 hours later standing barefoot in a construction site near campus, no phone, keys, wallet, shoes and most importantly no car. I ran 4 blocks back to the house dazed and rallied my bros. After some detective work we found out that the cops found my car still running crashed into a sign with our schools name on it. The same sign that is on our campus website and brochures. All the cops found was a taquito and chocolate milk (yes I drove to 7/11 walked in barefoot and purchased these items before trying to make it through campus) they didnt find any alcohol and never caught me so they couldnt attach me to the scene of the crime. Got away scot-free! My parents picked up the car and I was forced to tell them...sorry for partying

Moral of the story, bros are even the smartest people in the world when they are blackout...drinking and driving makes for funny stories

Bros are the shit

i cant remember this but my bros tell me i left my...

2011-03-31T19:44:24.610-04:00

i cant remember this but my bros tell me i left my bros house one nite blackout shitfaced and fell off his stairs and woke up with a concussion. after breaking into his neighbors house thinking it was my home and getting kicked out i then drove to my real house probably with quadruple shitface concussion vision and woke up naked on my floor in a puddle of urine and blood and vomit. to this day i cant recall wut really happened.