Comments on Bros Like This Site: #58 Benders

My first bender was in Vegas for a Marine Corps Ba...

2011-02-26T16:18:48.544-05:00

My first bender was in Vegas for a Marine Corps Ball that I went to. Vegas casions are the shit. Especially when you get enough free drinks playing the slots to completely black out five days of your memory and then continue drinking because you still have three days until you even have to hit the road home to SoCal.

My second was in Seould, Korea. Where I lost another four days, screwed 2 hooker slam-pieces, and threw up for another two days after the event was over beacause of what I'm sure is one of the nastiest hangovers in Bro history. I never could have done any of it were it not for my Military Bro's chanting that shit on and helping out.

Last night was the last night of my ten day/night ...

2010-11-28T22:54:38.901-05:00

Last night was the last night of my ten day/night bender, where I wasn't sober longer than 8 hours. I blacked out six times during the bender, and to top it off I woke up this morning freezing and wet aka I pissed myself. It was glorious.

i went to america on exchange for a semester, and ...

2010-11-26T03:36:52.604-05:00

i went to america on exchange for a semester, and soon enough met some like minded american bros and needless to say shit got wild. got some stories that will put anyone's to shame

we got fucked up 5 nights a week every week, and to finish off with got fucked up for the last 40 days consecutively, including multiple day sessions, even through exams, because we have our priorities right. hell the best way to get through an exam is to smash a 4loko beforehand. one time i was so fucked up i kept slippin over cos the slam pieces started squirting all over the damn floor

me and my bros pulled a bender that lasted 27 days...

2010-11-10T21:13:52.793-05:00

me and my bros pulled a bender that lasted 27 days, and came at the end of an all-bro vacation leading into the first week or so of what people call "classes." this included being wasted before breakfast on at least half the days. although ive never come close to repeating this feat, it is a wonderful non-memory i have shared with fellow bros often.

Me and my bros went 9 days of drinking nothing but...

2010-09-20T19:01:32.426-04:00

Me and my bros went 9 days of drinking nothing but whiskey during our march break in last year of high school. Now I've broken this record since then but our one bro who dropped out at the end of September just kept going. He would meet us at the bus stop hammered yelling at bras, flipping people off for the next three months. Proud I have a bro like him.

Before you start a real bender get some vyvanse an...

2010-09-07T12:31:44.021-04:00

Before you start a real bender get some vyvanse and brocaine. I once started a bender on a Wednesday night and with the help of my two friends above and a shit ton ton of alcohol I blacked out for 3 days straight and no sleep. I woke up Saturday still thinking it was Thursday. My bro woke me up and asked if I was ready to tailgate after not sleeping for 3 nights. I was like "you fucking dumbass there's no games on Thursday". It was like I had a fucking concussion 3 days of absolute no memory.

Bros, Indiana University little 500 = ultimate ben...

2010-07-04T15:22:53.640-04:00

Bros, Indiana University little 500 = ultimate bender.

From thursday to sunday of the next week you are shitfaced constantly.

You don't know a bender until you've been little 5'd.

Spring break '10 was aboat from Fort Liquordal...

2010-06-19T12:24:42.852-04:00

Spring break '10 was aboat from Fort Liquordale to Lucaya. First beers were at 3am and it never stopped. Broads love bros who can handle benders; it's an instant panty dropper to see someone pound shots and chug beers for days at a time. So what if your liver shrivels up,A) you're upper echelon in society or B) your body has mutated into the perfect drinking machine

My best bender ran from April 30th to May 11th. We...

2010-06-15T18:33:41.162-04:00

My best bender ran from April 30th to May 11th. Went through hundreds of dollars of alcohol,hooked up with a girl and her mom in the same night, got hit by a bra for peeing onto her old lady-friend's back porch from a balcony, met about 50 hot women and various parties. Probably the most monumental rages of my entire life.Benders are one of the finest outcomes of bro life. ~UNCW Bro~

so im 30 comments down but i dont give a shit. Th...

2010-06-04T10:10:54.655-04:00

so im 30 comments down but i dont give a shit.

This past spring I woke up one Thursday and decided, like usual, not to go to class. I instead decided to pop open my next handle of Evan Williams, picked up a quarter, and started a bender with no fucking intent of ending it anytime soon. Thursday afteroon went by awesomely, of course, because it was the first day of decent warm weather and I was playing the fuck out of some liquor pong on the roof of our fraternity with some other bros and a few whores that wanted to get fucked. Needless to say, that's all I remember. I woke up Friday at noon underneath the pong table with no pants on and a big orange street sign under my feet. Friday went very similarly- I ran out of bourbon and ended the handle's existence, hucking it right off our 3rd floor into the sidewalk behind the house. Saturday I bought 3 30 packs of bud diesel for then and Sunday (no sale on Sunday in GA), and had a case rase with 11 other bros.. second place. I woulda had first, but similarly to NYB, my big brother/one of our DOFFs was on the winning team and he can fucking murder beer. Saturday night is gone to me, but I heard that I made out with some slut in our living room, with me picking her up and pushing her up against a wall or something. Sunday, most of the other bros were starting to crash after only friday/saturday, but me and my bro Kinney were getting turbo again because we don't give one shit about two shits and who's to say otherwise? We decided to save our last cube for monday, and made a 5 gallon batch of our blue hunch punch, strolled that bitch to the lax field and watched our bros Sam, E Jones and Case rub dick on some scrubs. After the ass kicking, one of their players tried to fight me and Kinney, but it never went down because, well, they're scrubs. I woke up Monday in my bed, finally, to find the punch I had drank the previous day was in my bed with me. Anyway, this was gonna be my last day of the bender, so I had to get retard fucked up. And I did. Seriously, the only thing I know about that Monday is that I went to turn in a paper I had already finished at 1pm that day. I was drunk when I did it, and my professor asked me about it the next week- to which I responded "I don't know what you're talking about." Because I didn't.

B, you're a fucking retard. Elisabeth Shue is ...

2010-05-25T00:51:18.575-04:00

B, you're a fucking retard. Elisabeth Shue is Marty's girlfriend in Back to the Future II and III.

Last weekend I got the ultimate bro-hater, alcohol...

2010-04-21T20:32:36.470-04:00

Last weekend I got the ultimate bro-hater, alcohol poisoning. of course because I'm a bro I didn't go to the hospital or anything, I just passed out on my bro's lawn for a few hours. The next day I was hurting so bad that I could barely eat let alone drink anymore, so I took the night off.

That's the first sober 24 hours I've had in 5 years...

speaking of which, all the bros out there hold up your frat sodas, it's bro time.

Greetings, Since I can never pass up an opportun...

2010-04-05T03:35:13.345-04:00

Greetings,

Since I can never pass up an opportunity to score some bro points for one of my Bros here at KSig @ UTulsa I feel I must tell this story.

Coming up to the end of last spring semester my friend (nameless) went on a solid 60 day bender, but to top it off he only stopped his brorage mode of life due to getting mono from some hot slammpeice he slammed. Ending your bender only because the brohater doctors told him he would die if he didn't = victory.

God Bless Bros

Bro's benders on spring break make legends as ...

2010-03-17T01:09:23.189-04:00

Bro's benders on spring break make legends as well as homecoming and greek week benders. All this bender talk is going to turn into a Bro Patrick's Day Bender ending on Sunday or possibly later.

my 5 day bender began last wednesday after my boys...

2010-03-01T02:10:00.624-05:00

my 5 day bender began last wednesday after my boys arrived in this wonderful city i call home, chicago. this glorious week consisted of multiple cases of coors light, hornitos, jameson, patron, and a shit load of different 'bomb' drinks at the bars (jager bombs, car, whiskey, and whatever the fuck else they offer).
lost a couple hundo at texas, absolutely dominated and ran the basketball courts at my gym for like 4 hours, made fun of this girl because her boyfriend is a loser and almost got into a fight by this girls' friends, who the next day i had naked in her moms hottub. went to work hungover as shit last thursday and friday and what will be tomorrow as well, shut down every fucking bar along the north shore and got kicked out one of them because my bro was talking shit to the owners son. i made out with my ex's best friend, and i also vomited in my car, while driving.
last night we hit up a strip club and persuaded two of the strippers to come back to my spot after they got off (with no other incentive for them except being with us), and though we didnt slam any of them, we witnessed the greatest girloon girl action i personally have ever seen.

to top it off, we played pong during what i would consider the greatest fucking hockey game, and although canada won, our 'u.s.a'. and 'fuck canada' chants were loud enough to get my neighbor to say something to us.
even i have my limit though, cause i passed out during the day chay after the lakers game and was victim for the first time ever to sharpied dicks on my face and neck.

im just now gathering myself from all this and am not looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning, although the thought of what the next week will bring always makes me feel better.

bro's and ho's all day
and a special shout out to all my haters, i love em all

broheim, This is my personal favorite post because...

2010-02-23T12:15:49.358-05:00

broheim,
This is my personal favorite post because benders are the shit.
I am currently on a 32 day bender and trying to keep the streak alive. Wish me luck bros

i got mad fucking bro cred one time for being comp...

2010-02-21T02:52:57.494-05:00

i got mad fucking bro cred one time for being completely wasted 2 days of the bender and then didnt go to the doctor wehn I got alcohol poisoning in my shawn bradley jersey

Heard about this site a couple weeks ago from my t...

2010-02-12T17:13:43.003-05:00

Heard about this site a couple weeks ago from my token black bro, fucking epic.
NYB solid fucking post bro, benders are the shit. Ultimate bender... Spring Break. I mean it's the only time where bro-haters and fucking posers get a glimpse of what it's like to be a bro and slampieces flock to the beaches of Mexico waiting and wanting to get fucked. Hit Cancun when I was 19 and started the bender the night before, what better time to have a party right? As always, got fucking sauced and started the easy task of mashing some slampieces guts. Got that one off my list of things to do, and then tried to pack. Needless to say when I got to Cancun I didn't have much to wear, but fuck it, bras flock to bros like flies on shit no matter what they wear. Drank on the flight down there til I damn near passed out and gave my bro shit for pissing himself cause he tried to drink everyone under the table, fucking idiot, but awesome none the less. Got to the resort with all our shit and one pissed stained bro and did the only thing any true bro would: Walked straight to the lobby bar, flashed the wristband that said "that's right pablo you mexican fuck, you are now my alcohol slave" and started ordering tequila shots while waiting for the bell boy to move our shit to our room. From there it was like any real spring break, fucking waste face for 6 days 7 nights straight, barely eating, and laughing everytime someone puked their fucking brains out in an "innapropriate" place. Hit randoms sluts from across the nation and tried like hell to pull a threesome with some sisters (would have if they weren't bro hating canadiens) and ended up getting kicked out of 2 hotels we weren't even staying at. I'm sure the real bros out there can all relate to stories like this, so the next time you are going strong on a bender, just keep going. And if any fuckins skeez bag bro-hater in society tries to tell you you're an alcoholic, pound one for them and laugh at the fact that they never got laid in college cause they don't know what it's like to be a fucking bro.

I know the day I started my bender, haven't no...

2009-12-15T19:46:57.342-05:00

I know the day I started my bender, haven't not bended since November 7th 2007. The day I got out of the military and while it was a great experience, it wasn't very accomodating for a bro. Sad but true, military is full of bro haters with a ton of graphic tees and an unhealthy interest in MMA...

I digress, I'm half in the bag as I write this at an airport bar with plans to "have a few drinks with friends when I land". Now, benders and alcoholics are different... Alcoholics go to meetings and benders are fucking bromazing.

ppka

Elizabeth Shue isn't in back to the future

2009-11-17T19:52:36.152-05:00

Elizabeth Shue isn't in back to the future

Bros dont give a fuck about work during a bender. ...

2009-10-21T21:08:05.807-04:00

Bros dont give a fuck about work during a bender. If you do have to show up to fuckin work Bros have to head to the bar every hour to keep the buzz going and than do a shot for every hour the bro was at work

one of my bros got a DUI trying to drive to waffle...

2009-08-20T20:31:18.368-04:00

one of my bros got a DUI trying to drive to waffle house to get some brinner (breakfast for dinner) during a sick bender. He stayed in the drunk tank and walked back to campus, where he promptly rejoined said bender.

i played a 5th season of football in college while...

2009-08-12T21:31:36.215-04:00

i played a 5th season of football in college while "taking" 2 100 level classes. football ended a week before thanksgiving and i went on a bender from that afternoon until christmas break. 1pm start time daily, no definitive end. many of my bros were with me for days at a time but they couldnt fully commit as they were still "students". there was one 24 hour period where no alcohol was consumed, only because me and my bros had a smoke-a-thon and there would have been bro-casualties had jameson been present. thats all i got...bro in peace

a little formula I use for my benders ("quart...

2009-08-11T16:16:04.184-04:00

a little formula I use for my benders ("quarter rule"): every hour you sleep x 4 = number of brews you have to drink the next day.

I can usually keep that going for a week. Some bros may need to adjust up if they're bro-kings.

bros are the shit. its science.

Hey Bros, Benders are the shit, especially if you ...

2009-08-10T16:19:09.819-04:00

Hey Bros, Benders are the shit, especially if you have the cash to cover the week+ of drinking. I found this sweet site that can make any bro extra bender money by basically doing no work at all(work is for suckers any bro knows that).
Check out the Link:
http://www.bvmarketing.com/affiliate/join-the-affiliate-team/?ref=rugbyhead