OH MY GODDDDD you guys, I’m soo excited for tonight! It’s bid night and I’m gonna get sooo fucking wasted! Really need to blow of some steam you guys!I’m back and that was painful – for some reason I have a sudden urge for pizza that has a crust stuffed with Oreos. Anyways, there you have it: an impartial, fair assessment of the Fat Sorority Girl. Do I feel we’ve learned a lot here? Yeah, I fucking do. Are we as bros better people because of this? I didn’t think it was physically possible to get any better, but yeah I think we just did. Hopefully this exercise will put to bed the hurtful and unfounded stereotypes placed against bros and someday work to tear down the Bropressive walls that plague society. Who’s the douche bag now you fucking fat bitches?
Rush has been SOOOO hard. These stupid fucking bitches are awful. NO Omega Pride whatsoever. I guess I can’t really say anything, after all I was part of THE BEST fucking pledge class ever! WOOO – SPIRIT AWARD WINNER! That’s feckin right, I won the spirit award. Shouldn’t be surprising considering I took that shit down for FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS at Prep High. I totally would’ve gone to prom with the captain of the football team, but we all just decided to make it a girls’ night instead. Besides that fucking slut Jackie went with him – only because she goes all the way!
Whatevs, I was totally saving myself until last weekend when that REALLY cute guy walked me home. I just HAD to have sex with him and I LOVED IT! I mean he’s not even in a Fraternity, actually I’m not even sure he goes to school here - I think he was like 40, but whatevs, he’s totally mature and experienced and he’s totally into me. He kept yelling at me to “GET OFF!! GET OFF!! GET OFF!!” and I totally did, or at least he THOUGHT so ;) (I WAS TOTALLY FAKING, YOU GUYS!) Total Omega move – no hot, older guy can please us! He’s really sensitive too, you guys, he was crying afterwards! SOOO CUTE!! And I don’t care what Stacey Sanderson says, he was NOT homeless! I’m totally taking him to FORMAL!!!
I just can’t wait for tonight – all shots, no beer – counting calories, you guys - gotta watch that figure! Did the elliptical for 12 minutes today – totally earned fun tonight! We are pregaming HARD to LMFAO – sometimes I don’t know what rocks more, the Omega house BEFORE we go out or actually going out! We’re so fecking awesome, you guys. Can’t wait for late night PIZZA AND CHEESY BREAD!!
We made T-Shirts!! We’re cutting them up to make them look SLUTTY! Fact: We’re the fecking hottest sisters on campus. Much hotter than the fucking Kappas. I hate those sluts! They tamper with rush! I HAVE PROOF. Well, not like physical proof, but one of my sisters’ Dads has like a PI and he’s totally gonna spy on them and once he finds out they’re tampering, they’ll be going down like fecking Cindy Marshall does EVERY weekend! OMG, you guys! Did I just say that?!?
God, you guys, my boobs look HUGE in my Omega shirt and my jeans fit PERFECTLY. Thank God for elastic!!! I think I’m losing weight you guys! It only took me half an hour to get them on! My shirt’s fucking awesome, too. It hangs over my “bonus skin” (that’s what my Mom calls it!!) to hide it from all the hot Fraternity boys. It doesn’t matter though, all they’re going to see is this big Anna Nicole sized rack and just dive right in! Khloe Kardashian’s my hero!!
Oh My God, you guys, the iPod’s playing “PARTY ROCK!!” THAT’S THE OFFICIAL OMEGA JAM!!
CAN’T WAIT FOR TONIGHT!
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