Tuesday, April 7, 2009

#3 Calling Girls Sluts

Bros dig power, and to be honest there is nothing more empowering than calling girls sluts. Honestly, does it get any better than cruising the streets with your bros and constantly saying, “Oh, look at these fucking sluts!” every time you pass by a group of girls. Answer: No, it doesn’t. Bros love to change the pronunciation of sluts just to mix things up. Slutties, Sloots, and Slutbags are variations of the word, but they all mean the same thing: that the girl is a ho-bag.

While its fun to call girls sluts behind their back, its even more rewarding to call it to their face. The best part of calling girls sluts is that most of the time they aren’t sluts at all, but it still makes them feel like they are, which is awesome. Anytime you can make a girl feel self-conscience about herself, you have done your job as a bro.

Let’s take a look at the appropriate times to call a girl a slut:

When she’s showing off skin – Honestly, she’s just asking to be called a slut at this point. This is a no-brainer. If you and your boys don’t call her a slut, you lose serious bro-points. I mean this is a fucking lay-up line insult that will definitely get you some fist pounds so why would you pass it up?

When she insults you in any way – Its so fucking sweet being a bro. No matter what a girl says you always have a trump card. Say for example, some girl is making fun of you because you live in your parent’s basement. That’s when you remind her what she is.

When she rejects your advances – So, you’re at a bar with all your bros (obvs) and some girl that’s hot as shit tries to get a beer right next to you. You obviously hit on her because she’s basically asking for it. However, this girl doesn’t appear interested. What do you do? In order to not lose any bro-cred it’s best to just rip into her calling her a slut. Other possibilities are that she’s a “whore”, “lesbian”, or “dyke-bitch.”

65 comments:

Anonymous said...

you go up to a slut on the dance floor, aka "public auction" and the music is blasting, and you say "want to dance?", but she ignores your advance, then you obviously have to get a little closer, raise your voice, and say, "no, i said you look fat in those pants"

skank

afBRO man said...

just smashed a slampiece the other night.. lasted a good hour on that whiskey dick.. i woke up the next morning with her next to me and some bros coming in to wake me up... first words out of my mouth "all girls are sluts".. fuck sluts bros rule

Broptimus Prime said...

Calling girls SLUTS is awesome!

My fave is when girls already think they're sluts cause some bros worked her over real good, totally ruining her self esteem. You're nice to them for two mins and boom! they're on their backs.

Then when you're done slammin that piece you let her know that she really is a SLUT just like her SLUT Mom!!

Ben said...

another good word for sluts is "holes". chicks would be walking by our field while we were stretching for practice and the team would erupt in calls of "sup hole? tryena get filled?"

Anonymous said...

as a bro it doesn't get any better than givin slam pieces shit when they leave on saturday morning. me and my bros hang out the windows of the house aka the frat-castle and scream "shacker!" as those broads run up the sidewalk, high heels in hand, with some XL t-shirt and basketball shorts on. occasionally we'd get the finger in response which means we really fucking rattled her cage. it never gets old watching some skeet freshman slam piece hot-foot it back to her dorm while you and your bros let all of greek town know that she got railed by a bro last night.

Joey Chesnut said...

Calling a girl "slut" is so high school.

Calling a girl a "cunt" gets the bigger reaction.

Anonymous said...

agreed. i once while belligerently drunk called this hoobag a cunt and various other variations of the word. not only did it reduce her to tears, but was so devastating that half of her sorority called me to tell me what a dick i was. bro power

broz n da hood said...

fellow bros and bro kings i have been participating in this act since i was a brovice. since then i have mastered this art and share it with my up and coming bros in my bro college.

nikky said...

im a girl and i have to say...this is fucking funny.

Marc said...

I find a fun holiday way of calling a girl a slut is to throw an annual halloween costume party. Every girl from the age of 16 on is invariably going to dress like a whore. However it is always a sexy nurse, or a sexy nun, or a sexy cop. Just wait at the door as their coming in. When Wendy or Brittany or whoever is walking through the door dressed as a sexy nurse, say hello and offer to guess what they are dressed as...

"Hi Wendy, how are you tonite?"
"I'm good." (she is dressed in sexy apparel)
"Hmmm... now what are you dressed as tonight? Let me guess." (she laughs thinking that you are being cute)
"Hmmm.. let me guess, you're a slut!"
"No, I'm a nurse."
"Oh, you're wearing a nurse's outfit, I see that now."

Anonymous said...

well even tho i love this piece, sluts are sluts all the time. some bro is going to make them a slut. i'm starting a group called the century club. this being a group where i try to fuck as many sluts who fucked over a hundred bros already. im rollin solid and hope to reach my own century mark in my own century club. bronificent

Anonymous said...

I once took a slut outside and told her to go down on me, when she refused multiple times, i called her a slut and told her if she wasn't going to go down on me there was no point speaking to her. She still gives me the finger every time i see her.

Anonymous said...

saw a skank the other day asked her what she was doing, she said she was busy, and I said good it looks like someone lit a fire on your face and put it out with an axe

Anonymous said...

i like calling girls stupid sluts. i made love to a female once on a football feild then my bro did after me and we left her there screaming out the window "you stupid slut!"

bro sultan said...

bros don't make love. amateur bro.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that this article does not discuss calling girls sluts while fucking them, which is the most fun time to call them sluts!

Slippery Fetus said...

nothing rubs me the wrong way then when a slut thinks she can comment this website and think her input is even put into consideration.. bitches hop off and go fondle something saggy

Anonymous said...

hahahaha im a girl and i think this is funny shit. honestly if a girl gets offended by some guy she babrely knows or cares about shes a fucking weak pussy and shouldnt have friends. kay bye bros are hot =)

Anonymous said...

self CONSCIOUS

John said...

why do slampieces hop on bro sites to reiterate how much of a slut they are... this clam jousting skank is begging for some bro's to roll deep

White Thunder said...

my personal bro's and myself enjoy referring to the sperm dumpsters as "slampigs"

Anonymous said...

its also great to describe "sluts" in other ways than just the typical slut vocab, aiming more direction towards certain body parts making these "sluts" even more self conscience, for instance... "that bitches vag claps when she walks"... "look at that bitches titty bags.. bet she has some serious 'roni nips"... "i bet that hookers vag looks like an arby roast beef sandwich... we shouldnt call her slut anymore, we should call her 'Big montana with cheddar'"..." Bet that bitch has a huge flabby moose knuckle in those pants"..."Hanging out with that bitch is like watching paint dry... fucking that slut was even worse." etc. there are countless insults and parts on a "sluts" body that she and "slut friends" are self conscience about. Get together with your bro's and do some brainstorming.

Dude Man Bro said...

one of our chick friends, her last name is Angsten but we all just call her Skanksten.

boom-ROASTED!

Anonymous said...

Me and some bros went to Acapulco to bro out on spring break when I saw some slut from Michigan. In a drunken bro rage, I pulled out the "slut/cunt" combo and whereby I received a 5-star to the face. Getting slapped earns you mad bro-cred

Anonymous said...

nice bro

Anonymous said...

This is just awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjNNxnKVEpQ

Every Bro will appreciate this one.

Anonymous said...

drunk as fuckkkk one night on my buddys porch and started yelling SLUT! at girls walking by for no reason. I was also saying that with an Australian accent? don't know why

Anonymous said...

dear youtube "bro" - what kind of bro is into a capella? grow a pair and and stop being a twat

ya buaay said...

walking down the street saw some sluts holding hands. broke that bond and said, "excuse me sluts." took five to the face for the bro community.

Jejinity said...

gotta love the "fockin skanks" comment. Well used in my new hair cut on YouTube. A classic in my opinion

Anonymous said...

hahahaha you guys are rediculous. good luck on finding a wife thats not a dumb bitch

christa said...

hahahah this is some of the funniest shit i've ever seen. I love this site!

Anonymous said...

This post is either the best satire ever written, or it's written by a total moron. I can't believe that people commend and follow the advice of this blog. I can't wait to see the results of this stupidity in the future, when people take it too out of hand. Bros are soon to become the next uncool clique like hipsters and guidos, I only hope that it will happen soon enough. It probably will, because people can't seem to stays satisfied with something for more than a week.

The BrOhio State University said...

Bros will never die you hater!

Anonymous said...

Haha NYB I think you should give credit where credit is due for the "Sloot" modification. I know one bro out there that owns that word.

Charles BROnsen said...

Damn this post is right on target. My bros and I love calling girls sluts. Worst part is, some respond positively as if it were an edifying comment and end up boarding the pain train sooner than expected.

In Boston, my fraternity bros and I love driving through BU campus and yelling "Sluuuuuuutttttt!" at the top of our lungs. The best time to slut hoes are at red lights while they cross the street: we honk the fucking horn like the world is ending, scare the shit out of them, we all get out of the car, make scene by mimicking humping motions and all yell "slut" at the top of our lungs. This has proven very succesful. We've gotten tearful slampieces to run in shame a few times. Shit keeps us laughing for a good five minutes while their self esteem is destroyed for the rest of their lives (and thus they are rendered more fuckable).

Once my fraternity was hosting a beach party. I took a girl with mad hot DSL's to our back yard after she asked me for water. First of all, who the fuck does this bitch think she is asking for water at a party? How dare the privileged slut ask for such a thing. Second of all, girls asking for water is practically code for "take me somewhere private cause I want you to punch in my ticket to poundtown." Anyhow, I take her out back where there is obviously no fucking water. Naturally, I tell her to suck my dick. The bitch has the nerve to say that she doesn't want to cause she wants water. I'm like, "You brought me out here cause you wanted water? You're a bitch. Now, give me head." After several failed attempts, I give up and tell her she's a stupid slut. Not surprisingly, the hoe took offense to that. HOWEVER, that somehow riled her up, picked her up out of her stupid slump, and made her combative. We exchanged non-friendly words and (god knows how) she ended up "proving that she's not a slut" by throwing down some classic DOME right on top of my house's grill. Moral of the story, bros, is that God favors bros even when it all seems to crumble before us and all you have to do is call a girl a SLUT right to her face. They either respond by laying down the five finger law or by downing some bro dome shots.

Anonymous said...

If you know a girl named Angsten chances are you aren't a bro.

Anonymous said...

So I met one of my bros slampieces for the first time the other night, I asked her if she was down to get double stuffed and the bitch says no! I wasn't having that shit in my house so I called her a slut anyway.

BROmetheus said...

sloots is possibly the best spin off of the infamous slut. nothing beats sloots with nice glutes

Anonymous said...

So me and a bro have these two girls in our room, and we ask who the sluts are one says she is and the other bounces. We end up running a train on this girl and she takes it in the butt. Bro points.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe this fucking bro hater that got on here and started hating. Take that haterade somewhere else bro hater. Although you may think being a bro will get you nowhere you couldn't be more wrong. You must remember I am like 6'4" and 220 lbs of bro. That means when I walk into the bar next to your bitch ass(after walking past you in line and high fiving the fuck out of the bouncer while your bro hater ass is paying cover)you see that girl you've been checking out in class; she comes over and starts making out with me, drunk as fuck in the middle of the bar. Because I'm huge, really good looking, and super fucking smart; like all bros. So when we are at the same law firm in ten years, you'll be calling me your boss and crying yourself to sleep while I'm playing golf with the partners. Being a bro is an identity, not a fad..hater..

Brostralian bro said...

My bros and I like calling sluts 'broads'. gets them right pissed when they figure out what it means: slab of meat with a hole in it.

Anonymous said...

For the brohater...JFK was a bro. I rest my case.

Anonymous said...

honestly, last friday I was drunk as fuck. I don't remember, of course. But I told a big group of like 50-year-old women who were going to a wedding banquet that they were "all fucking sluts." I won that battle.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THIS POST WOMEN ARE FUCKING WHORES AND I SAY IT TO THEIR FACE ALL THE TIME. WHEN IM PISSED AT THEM WHEN IM SCREWING THEM AND ANY OTHER TIME I THINK IT WOULD BE FUN TO SAY IT.

Anonymous said...

Fuck brohaters...they're either A. attempting and failing at being bros or B. trying to kill the bro way of life. And @anonymous thank you for reminding all the worthless haters that bros are the shit.
Fuckin lovin this post more and more every day. Bottom line: putting a fucking slampiece in her place makes putting your shaft in a slampiece that much easier.

Bro hard or go home

Anonymous said...

Im a girl and think this is hilarious. Most girls consider being called a slut a compliment. I know i do. Heck, ive had sex with six different guys this month. Most girls want to get laid. Bye bros- keep being hot!

The Man With Bro Name said...

My favorite is calling the stupid whores "slunts" (slut + cunt). Great combo word that totally destroys their self-esteem for life while providing me and my bros with at least 15 seconds of amusement. It's even better when you call a bitch you've already fucked a slunt, but its truly best when she fucks you again afterwards. "Treat a girl like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud." Truer bro words have never been spoken. Except obviously bros don't allow whores to get clingy - we kick them out of the house as soon as we're done depositing a sperm load in their snatch, and don't even give them a chance to get dressed. Fuck those goddamn cum dumpsters.

Bro Life.

Anonymous said...

you guys are fucking stupid! you all are dicks!!

Anonymous said...

shutup slut...

I have seen this; #3 Calling Girls Sluts leading to #44 Making Girls Cry. Fuck n two for one

Anonymous said...

Articles are written by smart and funny people who know sarcasm. They are commented on by losers who call themselves bros.

T.Snyd said...

Dirt: husband!
Bro: sups dirt (<--between the bros, dirts are shitty girls that fucking suck until they are fuckin ad suckin)
how have you been?
Dirt: ive been pretty good(: havent talked to you in the longest time haha
hbu?
Bro: i know rediculous...
but just school work party
story of my life haha
hows vegas?
Dirt: pretty good
freezing cold haha
Bro: haha i bet
thats where ill be going this summer!
Dirt: really?(:
we should meet up.
Bro: duh.
ill show you the ropes of ripping ppl off in the casinos
Dirt: hahahah oh wow
Bro: um yeah. im pro
Dirt: suuuuure haha
Bro: ill just say counting cards is sooooooo 2000 and late
Dirt: i see
well you do need to show me how to do that then(:
Bro: well only i can do it
not to freak you out..
Dirt: hmm.....
then youll have to show me your skills haha
Bro: i bet you will see my skills...but ill tell you i would do the casino thing
Dirt: i hope so ;) please do haha
Bro: aight i took acid one day
tripped real hard
Dirt: oh wow..
ahhaha
Bro: when i finally recovered
Dirt: crack your back and youll get high
Bro: naw bitch just listen, my eyesight was all wrong...
i couldnt understand my own eyesight, so of course i was was like fuckin tits is happening
but over time i realized
Dirt: omg! wtf..
damn
bad trip
are you serious?
Bro: i was seeing things from all angles at once
theefore
i always know who has what in cards
understand
as far as my eyes can see
Dirt: kinda
Bro: alright listen..
take your eyesight
looking as far as you can
your sight makes a 3d pizza sice
if ppl were standing everywhere on the exterior of your eyesight, looking left right up and down of their spot and also foward to me
Dirt: oki
Bro: and you could see your eyesight mixed with everyone elses
Dirt: im getting it
Bro: in one sight
thats the shit im workin with
Dirt: thats a special skill there
Bro: damn right it is. im like superman
Dirt: hahahaha
thats cool
haha
Bro: i lied
Dirt: what??
Bro: but i really liked that convo
very interesting thought i had
glad you had it with me
but down to business, im trippin shit right now if you couldnt tell so im going to go walk through the wood of somethin
woods
or
something
Dirt: oki
dont die hahahah
Bro: did you understand?
Dirt: yeah
Bro: that means if i stood in the middle of the earth i could see everything and everyone
thats real tight!
Dirt: that is true haha
Bro: see drugs get your brain working much better than school does
school is for fools
Dirt: true hahaha
Bro: well ill let you know when im in vegas...cant wait to pound a homerun into your to ur infield
Dirt: umm yeah! i dont get it but sound cool to me =)
Bro: thats why youre a dirt well im gona go find something awesome.pce
Dirt: huh? lol byee hun! call me when you are done

No BROmo said...

lots of people i know call them doors

Anonymous said...

so you know those tight pants girls like to ware. yeah welll they aint called yoga pants or booty pants they are called space pants. now remember this .the next time your drunk or you van do what i do when im out at a bar or a club and you see a hot girl and she got those "space pants" on you walk over and ask her ever so nicely um escuse me miss are you wearing space pants? he she says why? then you follow sayig because they make you ass look out of this world.

Anonymous said...

wow. you're all assholes.

Anonymous said...

As a woman, I can guarantee that the bro who wrote this has never gotten laid in his life. Asshole.

Anonymous said...

Seriously gentlemen stop thinking with your millimeter peters an get a view of the big picture. Accept that you have a small dick then you wont have to demean others

Anonymous said...

It's the biggest turn on when a guy calls me whore and slut while fucking!!

Alex, the king among Bros said...

I prefer to call them slut bags.. As the animal we know as "the female" seem to accept it better than, whore, cunt, or dyke-bitch cunt face.. I like to think of the female as an animal. You can admire from a distance and yell at it to try and scare it off but, get too close and you may get bitten. Happy Hunting My Fellow Bros.

Anonymous said...

6'4 220 lbs? Dude youre like a rail for your height. I wouldnt say you're huge at all. You may be tall but your bones would snap. Haha

Brocaine

Kayla said...

i'm a bra and i like being called a slut.

Anonymous said...

I think I just lost iq points reading this "article" who ever wrote is a fucking retard

Anonymous said...

Being a woman in third year of college, I can believe this guy DID get laid.... by multiple women who have less of a brain than himself and self esteem so low that you can't see the bottom. If he wants to fuck all the Snookis and Sammies of the world while claiming Its because he's SO SMART and SO GOOD LOOKING (that's why sluts are called easy, right?), then let him be happy with his whirlwind fuck fest. I can't hate that he is happy, but I can hate the fact that his ego is so-unfucking-beliveable big that he can't see out of his dim bubble.
Witness being at one of the top tier college schools, and my family itself being wealthy with power... You wanna know who the girls are that he says are so hot yet somehow they're uninterested with him? And he doesn't know why? Poster right here is one. The answer is those chicks are using their brain (not economy girl - that's a mistake right there). They go into law, or the few hot chicks in engineering/physics. they have a big enough brain to read right though him and realize this guy is one of those frat idiots. Sorry, but it's true. The bro may be a bro, but he's not a man.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I'm a girl, therefore I don't understand what it means to be a bro. Why do bros randomly call girls sluts? Can't bros have sex with a girl without destroying their self-esteem? I understand calling a girl a slut during sex, but randomly on a street...? Another thing, do bros have relationships or is that just not bro-like? Anyways I'm not hating, just curious.

Anonymous said...

And then all you "bros" cry to everyone that you got friendzoned. Maybe cause you call every girl a slut? :) Pretty sure all of you will stay being a bro and never turn into a MAN.

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