Friday, February 12, 2010

Bros Like All This Shit - Full List

#1 Talking About How Wasted They Got
#2 Stealing Shit
#3 Calling Girls Sluts
#4 Chanting
#5 Nipples

#6 Beer Pong
#7 Stories about College Parties
#8 Rolling Deep
#9 Talking about Lifting
#10 Sweet Caroline

#11 Facebook picture with your Bros
#12 Pretending you don’t know people you met while drunk
#13 Slappin' Skin
#14 Talking About How Important Their Father Is
#15 Ultimate Fighting

#16 Thrift Store T-Shirts
#17 Swingers
#18 The Shocker
#19 Kegs
#20 Quoting Movies

#21 Bros Only Vacations
#22 Ankle Socks
#23 Drinking and Driving
#24 Birth Control Not Involving Condoms
#25 Talking About Their Dumps

#26 Blindly Hating Opposing Fans
#27 Eastbound & Down
#28 Giving Girls Nicknames
#29 Grinding
#30 Poker

#31 One Night Stands
#32 Bro Pads
#33 Playing With Fire
#34 Throwback Jerseys
#35 Pregaming

#36 Peeing Places That Aren't The Toilet
#37 Designated Obnoxious Fat Friend (DOFF)
#38 Being Better Than Poor People
#39 Cougars
#40 Getting Kicked Out

#41 Joey Chestnut
#42 Wearing Fraternity Letters
#43 Energy Drinks
#44 Making Girls Cry
#45 Hating Clubs

#46 Events Created Solely For Drinking Purposes
#47 Entourage
#48 Throwing Up
#49 Not Calling Girls When You Say You Will
#50 Bachelor Parties

#51 Taking Coed Sports Seriously
#52 Banging Places That Are Not A Bed
#53 Hazing
#54 Hooters
#55 Breaking Shit

#56 It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
#57 Not Caring About the Environment
#58 Benders
#59 Sororities
#60 Busting Ass

#61 Vegas
#62 Fantasy Football
#63 Loving America
#64 Weddings
#65 Cheating

#66 Arguing About Whether A Girl Is Hot
#67 Famous Athletes
#68 Tailgating
#69 Fake Tits
#70 Weed

#71 Eating Meat
#72 Erin Andrews
#73 The Wire
#74 Tobacco
#75 Not Going On Dates

#76 Crashing Parties
#77 Heckling
#78 Slump Busters
#79 Road Trips
#80 Giving Losers Shit

#81 Birthdays
#82 After Parties
#83 Not Going To The Doctor
#84 Homecoming
#85 Aggressive Driving

#86 Halloween
#87 Not Voting
#88 Getting Wasted At Inappropriate Times
#89 Hating Hipsters
#90 Wasting Money

#91 Cursing
#92 Bar Crawls
#93 Blackout Wednesday
#94 The Token Black Bro
#95 Models

#96 Out of Towners
#97 Taking Dumps In Places That Aren't The Toilet
#98 Lesbians
#99 New Years Eve
#100 Hating Guidos

#101 Younger Chicks
#102 Joke Classes
#103 Hot Streaks
#104 Super Bowl Sunday
#105 Lying           
#106 Mardi Gras  
#107 Studying Abroad     
#108 Spring Break                    
#109 Being Good Looking   
#110 March Madness

#111 High School
#112 Theme Parties
#113 Tiger Woods
#114 Rioting
#115 420

#116 Horse Races
#117 Having A Bitch
#118 Hating Graduation
#119 Midgets
#120 Icing Bros

#121 Fighting
#122 Texting
#123 Hating Periods
#124 Not Being Alcoholics
#125 Rebounds

#126 Peer Pressure 
#127 Fake IDs
#128 Bikinis
#129 Talking About Sports 
#130 Drinking Beer Fast 

#131 Drunk Sex 
#132 Making Fun of Tragic Celebrity Deaths 
#133 Hating Feminists
#134 Cheerleaders
#135 Being Rich 

#136 Prescription Medication They Don't Have Prescriptions For 
#137 Tucker Max 
#138 Wingbros 
#139 Dumping Bitches 
#140 Tearing Down Field Goal Posts 

#141 Having Facial Hair
#142 Blacking Out 
#143 Hating Women's Sports
#144 Four Loko
#145 Blow Jobs 

#146 Strip Clubs
#147 Bartenders
#148 Hating Justin Bieber
#149 Knowing When a Girl is a Slut
#150 Charlie Sheen

#151 Valentine's Day
#152 Banging Girls From Work
#153 Ski Trips
#154 Having a Favorite Female Body Part 
#155 Wet T-Shirt Contests 

#156 St. Patrick's Day 
#157 Sexting 
#158 Bouncing Clingers
#159 Knowing Their Bros' Skeletons 
#160 Hating Socialites

#161 Hangovers
#162 Married Chicks
#163 The Troops
#164 Life After College
#165 Beach Week

#166 Mad Men
#167 Eskimo Brothers
#168 Memorial Day Weekend
#169 Girls Who Bang on the First Night
#170 Thongs 

#171 Lacrosse 
#172 Bachelorette Parties 
#173 Daytime Drinking 
#174 Pickup Challenges
#175 Shark Week

#176 Being Cocky
#177 Shots
#178 Not Getting Married Young
#179 Poaching Bitches
#180 Taking Dumps at Work

#181 Booty Calls 
#182 Hitting on Girls at Inappropriate Times 
#183 Workaholics 
#184 The Turkey Bowl 
#185 Hating Betches 

#186 Not Doing Volunteer Work
#187 Derek Jeter
#188 Christmas Parties
#189 Leading Girls On 
#190 Snow Days

#191 Being Assholes
#192 Pranks 
#193 The Stride of Pride 
#194 The Swimsuit Issue 
#195 Hating Police 

#196 Calling Girls Fat
#197 Playing Golf
#198 Yoga Pants 
#199 Rob Gronkowski
#200 Having a High Tolerance

#201 Getting High at Inappropriate Times 
#202 The Last Few Weeks of College 
#203 Girls at the Gym 
#204 Owning a Boat 
#205 Drinking Games

#206 Unidentified Drunken Injuries

A Mile in Their Shoes
The Token Fat Sorority Girl

Entourage: What the Fuck?

Songs Bros Hate
Jam (Turn it Up) by Kim Kardashian

Brocism in America
The Bengals Cheerleader and The Bro King


Anonymous said...

this list is fucking bro as shit.

Anonymous said...

thanks broseph

Anonymous said...

The Big Brolowski agrees

Thomas Brolfes said...

Bros are the fucking shit!

DunkinBronuts said...

The anthem to all things bro

Anonymous said...

ever think about doing a post for manvember?

not shaving, flannel, boots, natty ICE, screaming while shitting/climaxing, not cuddling with your slampiece after sex...

Anonymous said...

The only thing lacking from the list is going to the rec center to bench and do curls and abs. Then bragging about how they can hit two plates on bench and never do legs

PJBRO said...

Fuck that bro, I can hit three plates.

woodpecker said...

This site is awesome!!!!!!

the other night i was wasted like normal lol cause im a bro. and i was wheeling this slampiece that just wanted to get pounded and she was on vaccation from out of state and she informed me that i sounded just like all her bro friends back at home..then she said that they all love this site..i ended up pounding her out later that night..but this site is the best

Franklin Delano Broosevelt said...

Bros don't lol.

Anonymous said...

WIth spring coming around there should be a post about chaying all day with the bros outside for a good ol fashion beer b q/beer olympics/celebration of it being tuesday. Nothing says bro like drinking all day outside on a nice spring or summer day

Anonymous said...

How about Tucker Max he can be seen as an idol for bros everywhere. He loves getting fucked up at inappropriate times, hitting slam pieces, and being a dick to women.

Anonymous said...

This list should really be a check list for life. If you are unable to check off 95% of the things on here or be able to account for one of your closest bros partaking in some shit like this then you are not a true bro...

Randy Bro-ture said...

Agreed with whoever posted Tucker Max as an idea for shit bros like. Cause let's face it: bros don't like fucking books. What a waste of time. However, bros have made the exception of reading I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. That shit is the funniest ever. All about getting wasted and sexual conquests. And to make it even better, Tucker Max realized that books are a waste of time, so he just made that shit into a movie- a necessary part of any bro's DVD collection. Hail Tucker Max: true bro.

Bro Montana said...

Yo you also gotta add "restaurant t-shirts". pretty fucking legit

Anonymous said...

This site is great, really captures bros for who they really are. One sector of bros that hasnt been brought up though is the ironic bros. Bros that realize they do all these things and make jokes about it to seem ironic but yet at the same time they love the fact that its suns out guns out time and the funnel is just being passed around like the slut that lives in the town house next door. I would just like to hear your opinion on these kinds of bros

MarquetteLaxbro said...

Two things first beer bongs should totally be on there I have yet to meet another bro of any kind that isn't all about beer bongs, and you guys should have something about the laxbro on there, laxbros are a very large and important part of the bro community

Anonymous said...

i would like to say, i agree with all these post except #22, How Can you not throw in Mid Calfs, those are the most bro socks out there, im utterly discugsted in the fact that you say mid calfs should be put away

aBROham Licoln said...

you should def add blow jobs to the list. seriously, what kind of self-respecting bro doesn't love a good blow job?

Anonymous said...

there's definitely gotta be a post about Memorial Day Weekend, here down the shore was fucking crazy

Anonymous said...

there needs to be something about bro hair on here

fidel castbro said...

cha mang, bro flow, mobile dome, bro hoes and lax pinnies

Tony Bromo said...

Whoa, man. Just read the Texas bro entry, and while a lot of the stuff in there is sensationalized, the part about chicks on the east coast loving cowboys is a lot more accurate than you would expect. As a lifelong Texan attending Cornell (insert suicide joke here), I'm having a lot more luck with the Texas Bro approach than I initially suspected.

Anonymous said...

#127 Slaying slampieces without ever kissing them...fucking sluts

Anonymous said...

how bout the the carolina bro with some natties croakies and all

Anonymous said...

dude the surfer bro entry is ill.

arostotbro said...

so I'm going to have to aggree with everything that you say NYB you are a bro in god form however I have a suggestion for a future post... yoga pants dude every bro love it when those sorostitues roll to class in their little lululemons I feel like you may be able to relate to this idea and possible throw some electronic gold our way. keep broing hard my friend.

Anonymous said...

you should def do an entry about the "silent bro." you know, the bro that is the quiet one that somehow gets laid without even talking. he's the one that usually steps up when the party starts to lag and do some crazy feat of alcohol consumption to get all the bros to get chanting, and thus the party starts back up again...and then act like it was nothing. then gets laid cuz slams love that shit. We got a bro like tht in my frat, doesnt say a word yet never lets the party die

Anonymous said...

Look at what these crazy bro's did...

MarlBRO Red said...

NYB, just found this site and I've gotta say it's the shit! Keep up the good work, bro.

Brosef Hesser said...

This list is Bro as shit. definetly should write About bros siblings. does that make them bro too? Or what about his real "Bro"? all things that at one point or another will be a problem

Anonymous said...

Canadian Bros... so prtty mch every hockey player. This quote says it all:
"If you've never had a beer, dropped the mitts, or packed a lip, you're probably not a hockey player, and if you are, your probably not very good."
-Todd Bertuzzi

Anonymous said...

NYB...keep the bro wisdom coming. Just a suggestion for a should talk about slut spandex pants because you know a bra wants to get pounded by a bro when she reveals every curve below her waist.

Anonymous said...

blue mountain state is the most bro show on tv

Unknown said...

Another bro show totally left of this list is The League. This show is the shit. One of the most chill shows on T.V.

Anonymous said...

#144 kittens?

Anonymous said...

I love this site.
However it is Thursday, I am at work, and bored. I have been checking in periodically today and to my constant disappointment there is no new article posted.
If you knew who my father was, you'd know it was in your best interest to get a new article up ASAP.
Bro's don't keep bro's waiting.

Anonymous said...

cincinnati bro aka bros who are irish/german, republican, and dont want to be lumped in with the rest of shitty ohio because we are better then those poor, liberal pussies.

Anonymous said...

I have a suggestion for a post...a post about iPhones. Bros love iPhones. iPhones are bro as shit

Piece Slammer of the Bro Gods said...

Can we get this shit bound in leather for all the bro-haters and slam pieces of the world to envy?

Anonymous said...

Live by all this shit. Discovered this junior year and related to every damn thing on it. Definitely need to add YOGA PANTS though, bros love girls wearing yoga pants. Thats hot.

Anonymous said...

Bros love syllabus week and that's a fact. For all those that don't kno what that is, it is the first week of the semester where you just get blacked out every night. NYB, I know you could write a sweet post about that

Anonymous said...

Bros love boat shoes and high top nikes

Anonymous said...

Bro's also love listening to loud rad music

Anonymous said...

please do a post on hating the pittsburgh steelers. there is nothing bro about being an obnoxious bandwagon fan and it would be great to see millions of people get off the steelers train when it comes to its next stop in dallas

Laxfan123 said...

How about:

-The 4th (it is mentioned in #63 Loving America)but I think it should get its own post


Anonymous said...

This bro list is very thorough so I am hesitant to call it incomplete, but at the same time I find it hard to consider it all encompassing when the "Chower" is left out... From bro to bro I believe you know what a chower consists of but to the layman this is defined as a bro shower usually in numbers of 3+ preferably in a dorm shower where each bro participates in throwing in a fat lip before taking an excessively long shower.

Unknown said...

Love the site, but its missing one thing. Bros Hate going to church, and I know its been mentioned several times in other post, but we need an actual article on it.

Unknown said...

You definitely need to write a post about Thad Cassel from Blue Mountain State or just about Blue Mountain State in general

Anonymous said...

Can we get a New Orleans LSU Bro breakdown?

Anonymous said...

bros like blasting bare chest

Anonymous said...

California Bros are rare, but DO exist...mostly at SoCal schools and Fresno State

Anonymous said...

bros like dubstep now too

Anonymous said...

I think St. Patricks day needs respect, since it's next week

Anonymous said...

make a dallas bro breakdown. seriously. its different from the rest of texas here. we've got the richest,most popular, and highly acclaimed bros that need something to reflect their pride on here. They deserve to be recognized for the turf they own.

Anonymous said...

there should be a post about getting free shit. its been mentioned in a lot of articles but being rich and still getting shit for free because your awesome is bro as shit

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you haven't talked about clint eastwood yet cause he's the definition of an old school bro, more like the BroKing

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

What makes you wannabros think that lax is bro? bros dont have to play sports we drink and slam at a professional level. and to be a bro you must already be deezed without effort. next time you comment think it through.

Anonymous said...

broo chill... bros for sure play sports (#51 taking coed sports seriously)and a true laxbro will tell u that lax isnt a sport is a fuckin hobbie. once u get past the fags that think theyre laxbros u see the ultimate laxbro: dudes that pound nattys and spark up all day, slam bitches,and of coarse dominate the game of lacrosse

Anonymous said...

Do one on the Epic Meal Time YouTube channel. Fuckin meat, shit tons of alcohol, hot babes, making fun of losers, and a badass host who curses and has some nasty facial hair. My bros and I wait for that shit to come out every week.

Laxtitute said...

Lax Bros? I thought they were the original.. however, it may just be prominent in the Mid West. Bros fucking own.

Anonymous said...

YOU NEED TO DO A BRIAN WILSON ONE, hes the chillest and most fucking hillarious athlete in the world.
plus he just got a world series ring... im preatty sure slampeices love world series rings

Brosus Shuttlesworth said...

NYB Bros love golf scrambles. It is usually to raise money for some bullshit good cause but bros will play to get fucked up. Of course we will cheat and win usually a cash prize. We will make up rules like a beer or two a hole must be completed by every teammate. Or if you birdie take a shot and of course we will at least birdie every hole in the scramble because we will cheat. The result ids you win money winning money is way better than working for it and get fucked up six ways to sunday.

Brocules said...

Dude, where the hell is "porn" on this list? no matter how stressed a bro's day can get from messing with sluts to laxing on the field a bro needs to just chillax and nut to some hot bitch on their screen at the end of the day.

Anonymous said...

yah i havent been on here for a few months and notice the pillsbury broboy shirt. nice work. cant help feeling i brought that on cz i put it as my name in a comment a while back

Anonymous said...

NYB and fellow bros, recently it has came to my attention that stupid slam pieces have began a "" After reading the first two words i began vommiting. NYB id really appreciate if in one of your next post you could take time and make those slam pieces everywhere feel like the dumb sluts they are.

Anonymous said...

Hey bro i love your site it represents true bros. But theres this site on facebook called brotips. its gay as fucking fuck and stands for nothing of what a true bro really is, that being the case you should make a post hating on it after you check it out

Anonymous said...

69th comment, fucking swag

Anonymous said...

List Suggestion- Cigars
Bros fucking love to smoke cigars, play some poker, smoke a stog and jam to classic rock

Bro Satriani said...

NYB, this list is fucking chill but this site needs a definitive bro-music list addition. Steel Panther is a great place to start: Kick-ass music all about fucking slams, getting wasted as shit and Bro-King Tiger Woods.

Anonymous said...

Rob Gronkowski... It has to happen NYB.

pikebro said...

bros love syllabus week

Anonymous said...

Please tell me that this website is a joke. I honestly don't even want to live on this planet anymore. Anybody who labels themselves as a "bro" is a fucking moron, and probably only gets laid when they are black out drunk. Have fun with the STDs, "bro".

The Man With Bro Name said...

Bros are immune to STD's, bro hater. Our superior genes kill that shit before it ever has a chance to swim up our dickhole.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

i love whoever writes this site. i would gladly be your slampiece;)

Brostradamus said...


Brostradamus said...

What the fuck is wrong with getting laid when you're blackout drunk? Slut

Anonymous said...

How haven't you mentioned COD/Halo. There's nothing more bro than smoking a bowl while slaying randos with your bros. Kill streaks, sniping, nuking these are the basics of a bro's vocabulary.

eli said...

Whyd these stop being made? There the best!!

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