It’s 1 am. You’ve been slamming back brew dogs with your bros for like 7 hours and have a ridiculously nice buzz going. Up to this point it has been a perfect night, but now it’s time to break out the charm on some lucky slam piece. That’s when you spot her dancing in a circle with her friends. The target. As the DJ blares Lady Gaga, you slowly make your way over to the circle. Then, just at the part of the song where Lady Gaga breaks it down, you make your move. Without making eye contact or much less even talking to the girl, you saddle up right behind her, wrap your arm around her stomach and start swing your hips back and forth with her. Let the grind begin. Who says romance is dead?
Typically, unless there is a competition involving a circle of bros chanting and yelling out, “Oh no he didn’t!!” when some sick move is broken out, bros don’t like to dance. Bros generally prefer to be in the background watching and making fun of all the people who are dancing. But bros know fully well, the best way to the bedroom is through the dance floor, and what better way to get your slam piece in the mood than by a dance simulating sex.
I’m not really sure who invented grinding, probably a Black dude, but whatever its fucking awesome. I remember going to my first high school mixer as a 14 year old freshman and seeing a couple “dancing.” The guy was standing up straight and not moving at all while the girl was in grinding position but was bent over touching her toes gently swaying back and forth. This was a little different from my middle school dances where pushing the envelope meant everyone doing the Will Smith “Men In Black” dance. Regardless, I loved the new discovery
One of the great things about grinding is that sometimes bros will get a half-chub or maybe even full-chub. Bros can do one of two things when the chub arrives. They can hide it by smoothly reaching down and doing the “tuck up” by putting it in their waistband, or they can do what I love to do: just fucking going for it. By rubbing your chub up on the girl you are telling her two things: 1. “I’m not impotent” 2. “I would like to have sex with you.” This will often help you bypass any small talk you would normally have to suffer through and move things directly to the bedroom. Girls probably love it when guys get chub. It’s pretty much the best compliment they could ever receive. And honestly, I don’t want to hear any bras out there saying, “I hate it when random guys grind on me” because you are full of shit. If you don’t want guys to grind on you, you should either get really fat or you shouldn’t wear what you are wearing.
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41 comments:
Great Post. As a bro, I find it excruciatingly painful trying to feign interest in conversation with random, stupid bras. Grinding is the perfect way to skip the bullshit small talk and get right to what we both want - me jamming my erect penis into her genitals.
Bros are the shit.
Completely agree bro - I hate wasting time with all the pointless questions like "Where did you go to college," "What do you do for a living," etc. when the only question I really want answered is "What do you look like naked?"
I would also like to add that the dimmer the lights the better. As the saying goes "It all feels the same when the lights are out", this directly applies to the field of grinding. Not only do you get to sport wood with what you are pretending to be a "dime", but you also get to raise some unattractive girls self-esteem. Bam! Two for Two. Bros are the shit.
The "tuck up" isn't for grinding. It's only for real life like at the office or in class if you're at college
i agree, bros never tuck while grinding, if a bra doesnt want a stiff cock rubbed up against her ass then she should stay the fuck off the dance floor
Another great place to implement the "tuck up" - Church. Bros love undressing the female parishioners with their eyes on Christmas and Easter, aka the only days bros are forced to actually go to Church.
I like to refer to grinding as "Outercourse" for obvious reasons. I'll just ram my erect dick into various regions of the bras clothed body, but my favorite outercourse move is from behind. As I am gently caressing my dick against her bulbous A it always makes me wonder what kind of expression the bra has on her face at the time. I don't give a fuck if her facial expression looks like McLovin's while he's pumping cheeks or the one he makes after he gets CB'ed, I always take it one step further and go for the under the arms titty grope, which if accepted I try to turn into the slow rubbing of the box. I love tweezing box at the bar, usually best done if the bra is facing a wall and not any of her friends. When you got that bitch from behind you can maneuver her in any direction you please like fucking Dale Earnhardt. Now, if the bra is into this then get the fuck out of the bar as fast as possible and fuck that beatiful bitch at any location necessary.
Grinding can also be called "boner-ing." fact: chicks love to get bonered on the dance floor.
I just stood up in my office and applauded BroKingNJ. It suck's that you're probably a dumb guido from New Jersey. But you've got the right idea. BTW. Chicks don't dig greasy wanna-be Italians anymore!
Fact: Girls love the denim cock
grinding with random bros is great, but the chub is not so great. def. stick with the tucking of the waistband (we think it's hot because if your shirt lifts up we get a sneak peak of what's to come that night...literally) and you should be in. -bra
I might just be my ultamate bro genes but when i get a half chub while ginding i never tuck it up. I let it rage and grind harder untill that bra turns around with a look that says "I know whats in your pants and i want it in my mouth". Then i say "you want to get out of here" and I slam her out in the bathroom for 21 minets then never talk to her again.
Dancing is a vertical expresssion of a horizontal desire...I've crushed more than once on that line...
Bros are the shit.
A violent raging boner is the only way to grind on a hot chick, go bro or go home. Grinding on a fine piece with a 40' of olde english 800 and wood like a redwood tree is the best way to pay homage to the great bro-sieden
don't ever tuck. <3 bro-loving bra
I fucking never tuck my shit. Not even at the office. After dosing off at my desk for a while, until my dick thinks its 7am again and goes full chub morning wood style, I get up, raise my arms stretching for the ceiling right in front of corner-cubicle slut so she can see how fucking stacked I am. I fucking roll my sleeves up so she can see how ripped and veiny my forearms are and then just walk away without saying shit to that bitch so she knows I'm not giving a fuck about her or how her day is going. I'm going to grind the hell our of her at the holiday party this year.
Agree with everything, good insight everyone. However, it needs to be noted that if someone has a credible enough brosumé then dancing is acceptable. See: Wedding Crashers.
Thats fucking insulting to see a bro insult a fellow bro for where he comes from, plus, I'm from fucking NJ and we are all purebloods(aka not guidos) and love being bros. A bro is a bro no matter from where.
grinding is the best! this one time at my frat party when i was totally wasted i decided to grind on random bitches. after going through about 10 sluts i came across this hot piece of ass. of course i started grinding with her and she gave me a ragin boner in no time. a few minutes later she turned around, jumped up and wraped her legs around me. being completely wasted i fell over onto a small stage with a stripper pole in out frat house, with her legs still wraped around me. we then start fucking in the middle of my frat party on stage with all of my bros to watch.
I agree, nailing a girl with your chub is definately the best, I never ever perform the northern tuck and never will. If girls have a problem with your boner, which I don't know why they would, that is totally their problem.
never tuck, feeling the guys dick with your ass while grinding is fucking fantastic
Another bro way to play a grind chub goes as such. If you're workin on a slam piece on the dance floor and you can tell that she notices your wood, just act like it's nothing out of the fucking ordinary. In doing so, you send her the message that you're ready to go, she's just gotta give you the go ahead to take the safety off. If she a dumbass bra and needs more convincing to go slam, just guilt her into it by saying that she'll give you blue balls if she doesn't do her fucking job.
First off, i just wanna say all u bros got it right. I'd just like to take a minute to visit the topic of the proper attire to sport while experiencing the grinding. Every bro wants to throw on some jeans at the beginning of the night, tryin to look a little bit classy for the ladies, but when it comes time to move up behind that girl, you realize how much you regretted that decision. BBALL SHORTS, always the way to go. A nice slim material, also smooth, so it slides up and down nicely. I would just like to also add that if you choose to wear a belt, you might as well light your balls on fire and drop a knife down ur pants before u start grinding.
Second, never tuck.
For all you bros out there I have discovered an acurate point system for grinding. It envolves getting to 26 points once you have recived these points you now know its time to get down tto business. You get 1 point everytime she reaches back and grabs your head/hands, 2 points everytime she bends over/ dirty dancing, 3 points everytime she makes out with you, 10 points everytime she she grabs the D if she does this it usaully means its about that time. However you lose 5 points everytime she talks to friends and 3 points if she talks to another dude. So watch out for that.
NYB- i believe the correct term for the "tuck" is " The Canadian Belt Buckle"
Couldnt have said it better myself bro.. i got a fat chub the other night while rubbin my shit up on a delicious blonds booty and just went with it, she loved it! and was gabbin it all night...its better to let it fly and look like a boss then to try and tuck it up and come off as embarrassed and not confident with your piecee
www.grindface.com
new site commemorating grinding.
IF she isn't down when your grinding your medium-bendable on her then the hope of getting the "toothless blowjob" is gone. But, if she's down then skipping the meaningless blunder is totally automatic.
the story of grinding should begin and end with high school. grinding on girls past high school and into college and beyond is for fucking jabronis who never learned to dance. As some bro mentioned earler see wedding crashers for an example of how true bros take a girl from the dancefloor to the bedroom
Anonymous above, try doing that kind of dancing during Derby Days with over 2000 people in the room. Not gonna happen. There's a time and a place for everything, so you gotta adjust to the situation.
Good call bro, as a fellow broseph I completely concur and the discovery of the grind has been a very progressive for bros all over the world - Me and all bros raise our glasses to the inventor of the grind
I had three fucking slam pieces grinding on me at a pgroove concert last night. i was drunk and blazed as shit and didnt tuck. tucking is for pussies.
fucking right, bros love grinding. not only does it feel good but it gives you mad cred with fellow bros. one time i was at a party with my bros, and all of a sudden this slam piece that i had a feeling liked me asked me to dance. sounded good, anything for a good griding session, right? WRONG. she proceeded to lead me on to the dance floor, only to FACE me while she danced. i looked at her like she was peyton manning when he threw that shitty excuse for a pass at the superbowl this year. WHAT THE FUCK?? this is the 21st century, and i'm a bro. you better believe we are fucking griding or im getting off the fucking dance floor. i actually proceeded to tell her that we should "dance like everyone else here" which was grinding of course. problem averted.
As a bra, we enjoy grinding our asses into some dude's D; however, watch out if we start talking with friends while dancing. That means we are scoping out for someone more bro. Also, try different maneuvers. Anyone tool can rub themselves against someone. Personally, I get a kick out of when a bro varies it up. It gives us a sense off what he's like in the bedroom.
fuck yeah, grinding with a hot ass girl u haven't even spoken a word to yet reels in great bro points. Plus you're the fuckin sickest bro of the night when if u manage to take her upstairs and disappear until the next morning. As far as boners, some might call it weird, but if you're already dancing that hardcore, you know she wants it. Besides the only people on the dancefloor who know are u and her.
Okay so i never heard of this website like two weeks ago and i have read many of the "bro likes" and i find them completley awesome just explaining my life in full detail. grinding on some random hoesky is my job catching a hard on is the best part cuz they look to see who you are or what u look like and there down to pund right then and there cuz they know people like us bros are just fucking awesome
Senior week at fucking OCMD a few slam pieces actually had a competition going to see who could suck the most dicks. I was staying in a house with 5 of my bros and obviously none of those sluts left our place without adding 6 more to their total. They probably just did this as an excuse for the fact that they were going to blow us all anyway. The cumguzzling slam piece who finally won the competition sealed the deal by lining up 5 random guys from the boardwalk and going to town on each one before puking on the last guy's cock because she was so wasted. Hopefully she got smacked for that. In retrospect "5 Guys" would have been a good name for her, but the burger place didn't exist yet. Her name was Liz, so one of my bros started calling her Line 'em up Liz, and shortly after that the whole fucking world started calling her that. Probably even her mom and dad. The bitch is a doctor now but still the name sticks. Also she's fucking married. I wish I could be there when her kids ask her fucking loser husband who is no doubt infested with no less than 57 STDs how he met their mom and he has to tell them he took a fucking number and waited outside the Motel 6 bathroom for an hour. Fucking sluts. Final score: Bros 8==>, Slam Pieces 0.
As a sometimes-bra, I can say with certainty that you should not tuck. We are not grinding because it is dancing; we are grinding because I want you to have an erection.
My fucking dick is entirely too big to not tuck. Even at half chub it's painful in pants to stand up, let alone grind. As a bro, I fucking love to grind and it definitely is the best way to bypass small talk. I don't give a fuck about what your major is. The tuck is necessary. It also simulates the up and down motion on your dick if the bra can actually dance which feels fucking fantastic. It's a good way to see if this bra is even worth fucking. As a bro I realize that I am the fucking prize here, not her, and if she is lucky she may get to see it tucked sitting well above the lining of my pants. Dry humping a bra by trying to jam your erect cock in her through your pants is middle school shit.
Fuck that. Sounds like something a fat, virgin bro hater does.
iright im 15 and i go to these teen bashes wit a couple of fellow friends from hs at dis club called la vela and da age limit is like 17 so were chillen and this hot bra wearin some heels and short shorts asks me to dance i think she was like 16 or 17 buh we get out their and we start gridin ...before u say shit i aint no rookie..but back to convo so we grindin and she starts to look at me like she had uh gasim and she grabs my hands and starts to rubbin on her cooch then she grabs my legs and starts to pull on me like im thrustin after a couple songs she turns around grinds on my leg then i say wat u wanna do den we lef like at 1 and walked on da beach after dat we did sumtin i aint got know buisness doin lol. and i aint talked to her since.(:
im a girl and i love when guys grind on me .
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