Wednesday, April 29, 2009

#11 Facebook picture with your Bros

Bros love facebook. Not only does it give them the opportunity to show people how cool they are, but it also gives you the opportunity to check out bitches. There are some common themes to a bro’s facebook page. The first thing that stands out to you is the facebook picture.

Say you are not absolutely ripped – say you might have some man tits. You are not going to be able to put up the ultimate facebook picture of you shirtless. IMPORTANT: This does not mean you cannot be a bro. If this is the case, you had better make it clear to the world in your facebook picture that you have got some bro cred. No better way to do this than by showing just how fucked up you get with all your bros. In these pictures you are going to want to make sure everyone knows that you are wasted. Take these guys pictured for example. “Just what is going on in this picture?” you ask? Straight up bros being bros.


Lets start from the far right – you can just tell by his eyes that he has had quite a few drinks, he’s smiling, laughing, having a good time. He has the arm around his bro to show facebook, that Yes, he is my bro and we get fucked up together.

Moving to the back we see who I consider the second coolest bro in this photo. Not only does he drink shit-tons of brew, but also he is making an ill fashion statement by having that sick bud light box on his head! Honestly, I want to party with these bros so bad.

Now, lets move to the bro in the front, who is without a doubt, the coolest bro in this picture. Obviously, he’s wasted, you can tell by all the fucking empties on the table next to bro #2. But, even though he is hammered, he wants more! He wants it so much he can’t even wait for the picture to be taken or even waste time by using his hands to lift the cup! He’s fucking diving right in, and to be honest I respect that about him. Just sitting here typing this is making me want to lap some brew up and get fucked up as if I was a dog. And throw in that mesh faux-trucker hat he’s wearing, I would seriously nominate this guy for Bromance 2.

That brings us to the focus of the picture – the guy in the middle, now if this was a facebook picture (it may very well be, I just google imaged “Coolest bros in the world” and this is what came back) it would be his. He is by no means jacked so we won’t be seeing a shot of him taking a picture of himself in the mirror anytime soon. He is positioned in the center and although he is obviously fucked up, he is in control. He’s got all his bros around him and he is having a fucking blast getting fucked up with them. He’s saying to the facebook community – “Attention Bros, Bras and Bro-haters, I am the fucking man because my bros are awesome. We get fucked up all the time and you wish you were as cool as us.”

Honestly, I have partied with some awesome people in my day, I mean just a couple weeks back I was drinking with Mike Green and Niklaus Backstrom from the Caps! That’s right, the Washington Capitals – what can I say, we’re just boys. Oh, and did I mention that I saw Ovechkin at a restaurant one time – yeah no big deal. But anyways, what I’m trying to say, is that I would trade my close-knit friendship with these pro athletes for one night of chilling with these bros, that’s how sick they look at hanging out. So, if anyone reading this knows these bros – leave the deats!

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

you left out bro number 5, hidden in the middle with the beer can on his head

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Wow - amazing eyes but you are mistaken. This is not a bro. He is just the guy all the real bros keep around to make fun of so they can feel better about themselves. That's why they won't even let him into their facebook picture. Good try though.

Anonymous said...

Bros dont do facebook, it is for bras only

Anonymous said...

Dude, this site is fuckin sweet and all, but one thing that would make it about a million times better is if you never made mention of that fuckin bor hating cock gobbler alex ovechkin again. that guys is a complete jackass

Anonymous said...

Dude, Alex Ovechkin is the fuckin' man...You would suck his Russian cock given the chance. So shut. the. fuck. up. MVP anyone?

Brodeo said...

facebook is now acceptable to all bros ONLY if you join the group "Brodeo" and check the pics

Erin said...

So... I'm a bra and I know all these bros and I was on this trip with them... Starting on the left, Tres, Ryan, Ben (hat), Alex and Tyler. All West Texas bros who used to frat hard and love bras. Alex and Tyler are the only true bros left, Tres is engaged, Ryan is married. Ben is MIA...

Erin said...

And just to give them some bro cred... They were all bros at the time of this picture- doing thing likes getting fake IDs, pounding 30 packs and making bras cry. And I heard that one of them was kicked out of a bar back home about a month ago for trying to bang a slam piece in the mens' room at a bar.

viperfunk said...

I was under the impression that Bros do not drink Lite beer. That's Bra beer.

richierich said...

bros drink whatever they can afford. You can't afford good beer, you still have to get fucked up.

Anonymous said...

dude i hate when bros fight. bros are the shit.

I'm Bron Burgundy? said...

richierich -

'bros drink whatever they can afford'?
Dude, what the fuck is that? Clearly, you do not understand one of the cornerstones of being a bro. ---GETTING FUCKED UP---
1) Bros have a shit ton of money. That's why we're at a top tier school, we don't get arrested, and drive nice cars.
2) The only reason we steal shit for free is so we show off how much of the law we can break and get away with. And its cool as shit.
3) Bros can afford to drink nice beer, but don't buy it so we can get 3 to 4x the amount of good beer we would get, so we can get more fucked up.

Stop being such a Broser - Bro Poser

Brad said...

woah bro, you are broing this waay outta proportion.
when i wanna get fucked up with all my bros, we dont have the kind of money to throw out every night like that. thats why we chip in a buy a couple kegs of natty bro cheap and we all get fucked up. if u cant drink shitty beer your are not a bro.

Sean White, Professional BroBoarder said...

dont you mean waay outta BROportion?

aBROham Lincoln said...

ps, can we talk about how Bro-ish snowboarding is? lets get a little bit on that bro... the outfit, talking about snowboarding with chicks and having it help you get laid, smoking weed while snowboarding, lets get the bro-kings take on snowboarding...

The Brophet said...

Snowboarding is NOT bro. Skiing pummels snowboarding when it comes to Bro-levels. And if you need me to explain the reasons why, well then, there's no hope for you aBROham.

Anonymous said...

You failed to note the beer hat wearer's t-shirt.

Wearing a W'04 shirt is bro as fuck. Bush was the ultimate bro president.

Smosh Bear said...

I love the fucking capitals and am very jealous of your partying with nicky b and mikey g. Few things in this world compare to getting fucked up with yoour bros at the Verizon Center and watching Alexader Brovechkin splurge his sauce all over the opponents, especial when its that bro-hating fag cindy crosby.

Anonymous said...

WTF is up with this fucking picture? these guys are not bros they're fags

and the fatass with the polo shirt? wow embarrassing

Anonymous said...

The fact that you partied with the caps makes you a bro-hater.. now if you partied with Sidney Crosby and the Pens that would be a different story.

DubStar said...

I think true Bro's drink anything they can get their hands on. Might not taste the best or cost the most but if it changes your buzz state to [on] off
Then A bro will drink about anything

White Thunder said...

A bro would drink cat piss if it would get you to the next level and no booze stores were open...Because it is completely obvious that all of the alcohol within reach would have been consumed without doubt

BROlaf Kolzig said...

First of all, these guys seem like kinda fags except for w'04 bro mainly because he reps Bush and is wearing a sick hat. Now, to the fucking faggot who has the balls to say Crosby is a fucking BRO... you are clearly just not making the bro cut. Ovie is sick. He is from Russia. He is a bro. He fucking wrecked a brand new jaguar or bmw can't remember which one, but it was like a 90k car because he was going extremely fast and doing donuts. That is bro. The Capitals are Bro, except they are also fags for firing my dad along with the entire medical staff after the stanley cup loss in 1998. But still, Ovie, Green and Backstrom are clearly the most bro of all. But lets not forget one of the most bro hockey players of all time. Adam BROates...

Anonymous said...

this bro drinks colt 45s

Anonymous said...

No bro should ever let his attention be drawn from a football or baseball game on tv by a social networking site. If a bro does this, he needs a serious life check, and probably isn't a bro anyway if they are on facebook or twitter that much. In fact, the only reason for a bro to access the internet while sports are on tv is to settle a debate about a player or teams statistics.

IrishBro said...

Broing out the fucking with sluts on the reg

[IMG]http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b53/Dnubass/bropic.jpg[/IMG]

I'm the stud in the frog tie with the tongue out.. in proper bro fashion.. its the start of the night and I don't remember taking the pic

Anonymous said...

No Doubt they took some slam piece to pound town right after this picture was taken

Anonymous said...

dude fuck that. Ovechkin goes running at my school. ive seen him rollin' round town!

Anonymous said...

you all know that those bros on the Caps aren't American right? A Canadian, Swede and Russian

Cleveland BROwns said...

IrishBro, I can tell from that picture that you and your brosers are definitely NOT bro. First off I don't see anyone wearing frat cleats you bras look like you're dressed for a fucking sweet sixteen, secondly I don't see anyone holding any sort of alcoholic beverage the guy in the middle is holding what seems to be a Red Bull, and lastly why is your tongue out? You look like a fucking bra waiting for her money shot. Next time think twice before coming with that weak shit.

holla@chaboi said...

There's nothin as bro as a picture with you havin a beer in one hand throwin up some deuces with the other with your fellow bros. if a non bro tries to hop in the picture, you drop them

Anonymous said...

Call it a brofile pic

Vin - The Ultimate Bro said...

Whoa... these are not Bros. You know why?

1. any real bro doesn't have the time to stop and look at a camera for any-fucking-body. exception, epic place AKA poolside, concert, etc.

2. i dont see any vagina. vaginas always wanna be included in the pictures. and as real bros its our civic duty to let the whores claim they're fucking us.

3. no money...

this is disappointing me bro.

Anonymous said...

hyea this is super anal.....guys who post pics like that just look stupid and desperate to show they party 24/7. i mean who gives a shit.

Twizzler said...

Me and my bros got fucked up in ac at club dusk with eagles tight end bret sellek...

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