Say you are not absolutely ripped – say you might have some man tits. You are not going to be able to put up the ultimate facebook picture of you shirtless. IMPORTANT: This does not mean you cannot be a bro. If this is the case, you had better make it clear to the world in your facebook picture that you have got some bro cred. No better way to do this than by showing just how fucked up you get with all your bros. In these pictures you are going to want to make sure everyone knows that you are wasted. Take these guys pictured for example. “Just what is going on in this picture?” you ask? Straight up bros being bros.
Lets start from the far right – you can just tell by his eyes that he has had quite a few drinks, he’s smiling, laughing, having a good time. He has the arm around his bro to show facebook, that Yes, he is my bro and we get fucked up together.
Moving to the back we see who I consider the second coolest bro in this photo. Not only does he drink shit-tons of brew, but also he is making an ill fashion statement by having that sick bud light box on his head! Honestly, I want to party with these bros so bad.
Now, lets move to the bro in the front, who is without a doubt, the coolest bro in this picture. Obviously, he’s wasted, you can tell by all the fucking empties on the table next to bro #2. But, even though he is hammered, he wants more! He wants it so much he can’t even wait for the picture to be taken or even waste time by using his hands to lift the cup! He’s fucking diving right in, and to be honest I respect that about him. Just sitting here typing this is making me want to lap some brew up and get fucked up as if I was a dog. And throw in that mesh faux-trucker hat he’s wearing, I would seriously nominate this guy for Bromance 2.
That brings us to the focus of the picture – the guy in the middle, now if this was a facebook picture (it may very well be, I just google imaged “Coolest bros in the world” and this is what came back) it would be his. He is by no means jacked so we won’t be seeing a shot of him taking a picture of himself in the mirror anytime soon. He is positioned in the center and although he is obviously fucked up, he is in control. He’s got all his bros around him and he is having a fucking blast getting fucked up with them. He’s saying to the facebook community – “Attention Bros, Bras and Bro-haters, I am the fucking man because my bros are awesome. We get fucked up all the time and you wish you were as cool as us.”
Honestly, I have partied with some awesome people in my day, I mean just a couple weeks back I was drinking with Mike Green and Niklaus Backstrom from the Caps! That’s right, the Washington Capitals – what can I say, we’re just boys. Oh, and did I mention that I saw Ovechkin at a restaurant one time – yeah no big deal. But anyways, what I’m trying to say, is that I would trade my close-knit friendship with these pro athletes for one night of chilling with these bros, that’s how sick they look at hanging out. So, if anyone reading this knows these bros – leave the deats!