Friday, April 24, 2009

#10 Sweet Caroline

It’s midnight. You’re 20 deep. You badly need to crush a Red Bull. Luckily for you, the DJ gives you something even better. Neil Diamond.

The moment you hear the slow intro, bros make eye contact as if to say, “Now it’s the bros time to shine.” By rule, all bros must know the words to Sweet Caroline. However, with this bro-anthem, bros are not satisfied with the lyrics – we need to add a few more lines. For example – why the hell didn’t Diamond yell “Dun, Dun, Dun” after singing “Sweet Caroline?” Not only does it make the song sound better, but it makes you cooler too. Also, bros enhance the song following the lyric of “Good times never felt so good” by making sure everyone knows that the times were indeed “So good, So good, So good.” Like honestly, if I hear this song when I’m not around my bros – I seriously forget that times with Caroline were good. I even get a little depressed thinking about those times. That’s when I realize; I’m only depressed because I miss my bros!

32 comments:

Stu said...

Classic! Especially the "Dun Dun Dun!" part - We've all been known to belt those lyrics out at the top of our lungs in a beer fuelled haze.

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Fact: Neil Diamond is the shit.

Robert said...

The only problem is the Boston Red Sox fan bros think they own this song, when it comes on they form a "we sing this at Fenway" clique. Yeah, you may be out in Georgetown, but they always make their "Sweet Caroline" superiority known.

Lurk said...

I have in fact nailed a girl named caroline to sweet caroline while my bro was in the room next to me catching a ripe blow job just so he would get a few laughs out of it.

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised none of you bros brought up the classic opportunity to remind bras why they are there - instead of Dun Dun Dun, there are 3 2 words that should be used - 'Fuck - In - Slut' all bros should use this, its way funnier and not gay.

Anonymous said...

You badly need to crush a red bull? Seriously, that's amateur partying. Try amphetamines instead

I'm Bron Burgundy? said...

Crushing a Red Bull is indeed crucial at clutch party moments. Though I think it is way iller when you crush a line of aderol/ridilin/coke through the snout.
Then everybody really knows how bro you are, because bro's love coke and snorting shit.
Drugs are fucking awesome.

Anonymous said...

The best version of this song is performed by the Golden Band from TIger Land in LSU's Death Valley on a Saturday night. Hearing 93,000 drunken Bros and bras screaming So Good! So Good! So Good! will make the hair on your balls stand up.

Anonymous said...

You don't know what you're talkin about. A real bro would shout "suck my balls" after "Sweet Caroline." That's how we do it.

Franklin D. Brosevelt said...

It might be a midwest thing, but bros here take pride in adding "So Good, So Good, So Fucking Good," especially on that last chorus.

BRO HARD OR BRO HOME said...

Franklin D. Brosevelt makes a good point here in this BRO argument. I am from the great state of Minnesota and we sing Sweet Caroline just as you have explained it.

I have a story about that song.

SB '08 (my senior year of HS) I went to Playa of course. I was roughly 20 deep and it was only 1:30. I was dancing in a circle with my bros on the dance floor because that is how you fucking do it in Mexico. Just when I was about to finish my brew a nice slam piece started coming towards us. Now, normally I would tell that girl she is a "Fucking Skank" and hope that she would leave our circle so I could happily enjoy my time with the bros on the floor. This time, instead, I let her come up to me because there was a cougar right behind her (her mother).

I started grinding up on this slam piece and just when I lit up that cigarette I had been dying to smoke the song "Sweet Caroline" came on and I don't know why but the cougar just came right up to me and her slam piece for a daughter and we started grinding while chanting the lyrics. I was, at the time, sandwiched in between a mother and her mother fucking daughter grinding to the voice of NEAL FUCKING DIAMOND.

I don't care how bro you are, if this opportunity comes your way you fucking take it. Your bros will understand because they badly want to be in the position you are in.

The ULTIMATE bro-thing to do is hook up with a mother fucking cougar.

Anonymous said...

FENWAY

Anonymous said...

FENWAY >:[

JeepGuyMike said...

Michigan State yells it, "SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO FUCKIN' GOOD."

Anonymous said...

Red Sox Fans do own this. And they're the best kind of bros around so don't even mess.

Anonymous said...

bros also love the song Take me Home Tonight, fuckin awesome

BROnald Reagan said...

anyone see the new sunday night baseball commercial? features sweet caroline. me and my bros saw it during a day drinking session and you better believe we broke out in song

broppe said...

Great post! it inspired me to write a manku (manly haiku):

sing sweet caroline
so good so good she's so good
boats, hoes, caroline.

Anonymous said...

You can't mention Sweet Caroline without mentioning Penn State University (A TRUE UniBROsity).


P.S. SalVal shirts are legit

Bronathan Papelbon said...

shit, Penn State....please Boston owns Sweet Caroline!!

Berbalerbs said...

Where I'm from, bros scream "FU-CKING SLUT" instead of "DUN DUN DUN," and it's the fucking shit. Time to upgrade, bros.

Oh, you know what's also the fucking shit? Bros.

Star said...

Louie Louie is a true bro song

Anonymous said...

sweet caroline = nothing to do with broism

D-Rock said...

Sweet Caroline... Fuck That Sluuuuut :)

Broseph Haydn said...

Love it.
A post like this could be made for Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good", which is #47 Entourage in a song, but with records instead of movies.
Mentions #23 Drinking and Driving too...

Zakk said...

Boston owns this shit. Don't even try to say otherwise

Jitty said...

"So Good So Good So Fucking Good" is the only way it should be done. That screams bro.

nick said...

fuck yeah i love the shit out of this song
school concert had me and my bros yelling DUN! DUN! DUN! which pissed our bitch band teacher off but we didn't care

Mark said...

Had a teacher in 6th grade that would play it every friday and taught us the "Dun dun dun". He got fired a couple years later for bitch slapping some kid that was being a faggot.

JeepGuyMike said...

And by faggot, you mean he was sucking every guy off in the whole school while having a train run on him?

Dude, stop using derogatory terms and use general ones, like douchebag. Thanks.uespeope Perse

Bro Satriani said...

@JeepGuyMike you must have been the faggot he bitch-slapped for sucking cock in class. Go back to BroBible you fucking Bro-hater.

Anonymous said...

It is not "dun dun duh" it is in fact " fuck that bitch"

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