So things are starting to get somewhat serious with a slam piece. Obviously, I'm not saying you've been out on dates with her - you're a bro - I just mean you've banged her like four different times. After a long night of heavy drinking with your bros, you somehow found the coherence to text her to come over to your spot for some quality time. It's the following morning. She's still lying next to you. From what you can remember you took care of business last night (you are a bro after all) - now its time to get her the fuck out of your room so you can #1 talk about how wasted you got last night with your bros. There's only one problem. She's not leaving. At first you subtly hinted that you had shit to do, but she wasn't buying it. You even give her some of your best #44 making girls cry material by making fun of her parents' divorce, but this bitch is just laughing it off! Just as you are about to give up all hope, your stomach starts to growl. And your bro said eating that third chili dog last night was a bad idea - fucking idiot. As she yammers on about God knows what, most likely about how much she wants to get married, you breathe deep as a smile slowly crawls across your face. It's going to be a good one.
"What are you smiling at," she asks.
As the SBD (Silent but Deadly) wave leaves your asshole you start laughing hysterically. She still doesn't get it - that won't last for long. As soon as you are sure you've got everything out you snatch the covers from her grasp and throw them over her head. Bitch just got Dutch Ovened. Talking time is over - she just ran the fuck out of your house screaming, "You fucking asshole!" She'll be back...they always come back.
Bros fucking love busting ass. Much like dogs mark their territory by pissing all over the ground - bros let you know the areas where they straight up run shit by farting on them - and that's fucking everywhere. Throughout their entire lives bros have been obsessed with farts - especially the noise they make. All bros at one time in their life, possibly in the past week, have stuck their hand under their arm pit and jerked their arm like a chicken wing to make that fart noise. Instant comedy - not to mention a killer move when trying to pick up slam pieces.
While bras will never be caught dead busting ass, bros will do everything in their power to make sure everyone knows they farted. Even before they bust ass, bros want everyone in the room to know that they are are about to unleash that warm cloud of shit. They do this by leaning sideways on the couch or chair making it look like they are literally trying to lay an egg - this makes it much easier for the fart to happen. Once the fart is unleashed, the bro will know immediately whether it is going to smell or not, therefore they do the gentlemanly thing and announce that shit to everyone. "Oh fuck this one smells like shit!!" down to "Don't even worry, this shit doesn't even smell." Regardless, bros always love the smell of their own farts. Bros also know who amongst their bros is the worst farter. Bros can even call out who busted ass just by the smell.
Bros are always proud of their work. Sometimes when the fart is so rank, bros will scatter from the room begging the bro-offender to go take a shit. There is always that one bro who stays behind to congratulate the farter on his impressive work. Many times in class there might be a particularly foul smelling fart - but no one will confess. This is because this work was done by either a bra or bro-hater. You can tell none of the bros made that sweet nectar because they are all saying, "Fuck man, if I had laid that egg I would tell everyone because I would be proud of that shit."
Bottom line - bros are not ashamed of their body or the amazing things it might produce. This is just one of the many reasons that bros are better than the rest of the human population.