Wednesday, April 8, 2009

#4 Chanting

Bros participate in all kinds of activities at the bar, most of which deal with getting drunk or trying to get laid. However, people often forget what really gets bros excited – chanting shit. You’ve all been in the bar when out of nowhere a group of bros starts chanting at the top of their lungs “U-S-A! U-S-A!” Honestly, whenever this happens it’s so touching that I nearly weep, but then I remember I’m not a homo so I try to pick a fight instead. Why do bros chant, you ask? Well I would like to ask you why you are a bro-hater, but first I’ll tell you.

  • Bonding – Nothing says bromance like a group of bros getting together and chanting something that they all believe in. Girls hug each other to show their affection while bros stare each other in the eye and scream “EAGLES SUCK” repeatedly. Sometimes bros will make an impromptu mosh pit and start beating the shit out of each other while chanting. This is by far the best way for bros to bond, especially if one of the bros gets hurt. Getting hurt is the shit. If you get up from the ground with a bloody lip and possibly a missing tooth and continue with the chant, you hands down deserve to hang out with Brody Jenner.

  • Showing Where You Stand– Even though you have your flat-brimmed Black Red Sox hat and your authentic #58 Papelbon jersey on, you still want people to know where you stand. I mean come on, you’ve been a Sox fan since before they won the World Series, all the way back in 2003. That’s like 6 fucking years man. If there’s one thing you’ve learned in that time, its this: You hate the fucking Yankees. Why should this be bottled up inside you when you hate everything they stand for. Everyone needs to know about this. There’s no better way to show this hatred than chanting. “A-Rod Sucks” is a solid choice to get your motor running, but then what happens when he’s done sucking? Boom – hit them with a “Jeter Swallows!” This really works for pretty much every member of the team, and don’t forget “Yankees Suck” or “Fuck the Yankees” as they are always clutch.

  • Attention – If there is one thing bros fucking love, its attention. What better way to get this than by chanting shit? Not only are you loud, but everyone looks at you at first trying to figure out what you are chanting, but then, once they figure out how awesome your chant is, they start chanting along with you! By the time you realize it, the entire bar is chanting. After the chant has died down, whoever started the chant better believe they are going to get mad props. Everyone immediately sees how awesome you are and gives you fist pounds and high fives. Guys buy you drinks and the band gives you a shout out. And most importantly 9 times out of 10, you will get laid because of your chant and that is a fact.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

My fraternity's official late-night chant was "Beer! Sex! Frat!" repeated over and over again. simple, executed to perfection, lets the brahs know whats good. Beer, Sex, Frat!

Anonymous said...

We started chanting "this frat sucks" in our own party one time when the music when off. it caught on and is now a catch phrase for our bros.

Anonymous said...

dude Brody Jenner is fucking gay...just bc his name has bro in it doesnt take away from how much of a fucking tool he is

Anonymous said...

A TRUE BRO likes the Yankees, not a crap team like the Sox whose entire history is losing and then jumping on a bandwagon when they win.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the Yanks! Every bro out there Big Papi is the fuckin man, anyone who disagrees is a fuckin bro-hater to the highest level. Don't even get me started on Fenway Aka: Slam Piece Paradise.

chip said...

all this yankees red sox talk will never end

Outside a DMB concert in Hartford, CT chanting went on for a solid 10 minutes between red sox and yankees fans. One genius in the crowd decided to find a mutual bro chant. For the next 15 minutes everyone at the concert chanted ma-ri-jua-na.

Broseidon, god of the brocean said...

nothing better than getting together with your bros for some backyard 3v3 lacrosse in the rain. and when you get drunk enough its time to start chanting some shit. someone threw a plastic chair on the roof, and the next thing you know it was fuckin on. "roof that couch!" was probably the climax of the afternoon, in addition to "roof that keg!" In the end half the furniture was up there and one of the smaller bros. Eviction parties rule. Damn it feels good to be a bro.
"ROOF! ROOF! ROOF! ROOF! YEEEAAAH!"

Anonymous said...

I started a U-S-A chant yesterday walking home from the bar. Kids in three buildings with 6 stories each echoed back. God I love America.

Anonymous said...

the single greatest chant of all time... TITS!!TITS!!TITS!!TITS!!TITS!!TITS!! start slow and speed up gradually. very similar to the slow clap

Anonymous said...

quack quack quack quack quack quack.. cant beat that chant.. gotta love the mighty ducks

Anonymous said...

My bros and I like to rock a good solid "S-F" chant. It stands for "sticky fingers" and originally referred to the time a bro finger-banged a slampiece on the dance floor at the local bar but now is just chanted whenever we feel like being particularly brotastic

Anonymous said...

whenever we get really drunk at my frat, and im talking at least blackout level, we all run around chanting "We're not that drunk! we're not that drunk!" This gives us an excuse to keep drinking.

Kareem Abdul-JaBRO said...

Ya Bros, BRAdy Jenner is lame as shit.

Anonymous said...

Just as good as chanting=singing. Me and all my bros play rugby, and in tradition we get super fucked up and start singing rugby songs. At EVERY party whether it be one of our parties or some fag's trendy hip party. The moment you sing "Who will go to an abortion clinic, looking for a snack, go right in and eat it out her snatch....the S&M man", you and your bros are in charge.

Anonymous said...

singing and rugby are are about as european as u can get. fake bros go home

Anonymous said...

was just in a cab comin back from this shitty spring break party in the bahamas...10 bros and all of a sudden some slam pieces hop in our van to hitch a ride back to the hotel. Immediately all the bros in the van break out in the classic, "SHOW YOUR TITTIES" chant. Makes me proud to be a bro. After we get out of the van, bring those bitches back to our room. slayed em all raw dog.
bros are the shit

Anonymous said...

During my sophomore year of High School, I started a USA chant almost everyday in English class (mainly cause there was a candian in my class and we had to show him what was up and where we stood). It got so bad the teacher had to tell us to stop near the end of the year. Bro-Hater...

Dirk BROwitzki said...

My bro in high school played on the basketball team and his nickname was "duck" because he looked like one....every time he subbed into the game or scored we world break out the "quack.....quack...quack..quack..quackquackquack" chant along with a slow clap. Bros are the shit

Brode Miller said...

my bros and me chant... rape, kill, pillage, and burn, rape, kill, pillage, and burn, EAT BABIESSS

Anonymous said...

God bless this site and bros everwhere

Ertsi said...

While at Mardi Gras this past spring with my bros I started several chants to see some motherfucking tits etc. Along with a few of my bros we started chanting 'we want tits' to this busty blonde. Fucking slut wouldnt acknowledge us at first but as our bro chant spread through the crowd she had no choice... As soon as she showed us those melons I started a 'we want ass' chant'. At this point this the crowd was rocking my bro chant hardcore and we got what we wanted. Being the belligerently drunk bro-king that I am, I started 'PUSSSSSSSY, PUSSSSSSSY, PUSSSSSY' chant. All the bro-haters looked at me as if I was as mental as I was drunk but then realized my bro-prowess and followed my lead. After about 6 chants from the bro-inspired crowd, we got the dirty fucking slut to reveal her perfectly shaved vertical smile. Bro's 4 LIFE

BrostonCollege said...

some bro-haters show up to your party? nothing wrong with a "GET THE FUCK OUT" chant...

sidney BROsby said...

when someone spills a beer, or just commits any type of anti-bro act at a party, the classic chant of "YOU, OUTTA HERE" over and over while pointing to the offender on "YOU" and pointing towards the door on "OUTTA HERE" is always solid for some bro bonding and good partying.. it always catches on, and is also fun to make fellow bros look like dicks in front of everyone... true bros will take the chant with a smile and finish their beer immediately

BroTerp said...

I will be "U.S.A." chanting my ass off when Clint "Likes To Party" Dempsey scores the winning goal against Ghana / any other team we come across on our way to the World Cup.

"U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"

Anonymous said...

FRESHMAN! FRESHMAN!

Anonymous said...

EVERYBODY!! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!!!

BlueGrass said...

"Shots Shots Shots." That's not chill, fake-bros outta here

Anonymous said...

Drink and drive is one me and my bros like.

Anonymous said...

At our new years party everytime someone spilled a glass or broke something. us bros started chanting YOU FUCKED UP! the whole thing cought on an 6 out of the 7 of us got laid. the 7th didn't because he KO'd at 6am. He is no longer a bro.

Anonymous said...

was at a party at a bitchs house and everyone was breakin shit so she decided to try to get people to leave. she got up on a banister on the second floor and was bitchin at everyone. thats when i started the chant JUMP JUMP JUMP needless to say she eventually gave up and started crying

ak_sizzle said...

when we and my bros are at drinkin parties, we chant "bros! bros! bros! bros!" to remind fellow partygoers who we are. And if there are any other bros already at the party, theyre more than likely to join in. Unless theyre fags. Bro for life.

Anonymous said...

The classic ASS-HOLE ASS-HOLE ASS-HOLE ASS-HOLE is a great recipe to let any bro hater no what's up

Jose Quervbro said...

Chants are great, but I fuckin hate it when bro-haters try to chant back. So my bro G invented the chant-killer. Anybody starts chantin shit you dont like: BROS SUCK etc, real bros hit em with CANCER..CANCER..CANCER.. it shuts the haters the fuck up and lets em know that bros are too rich to worry about the shit that killed their grandparents... we got johns hopkins hospital for that. Fuck haters, bros are the shit

Anonymous said...

from a black bro aka brah, me an my breinds know were trashed when we start chanting loud as hell " we want skanks" to let the good girls know their not welcome at this part of town

Anonymous said...

My bros and I always chant, "stupid bitch, stupid bitch" at parties anytime some sloot makes a party foul

Anonymous said...

Sounds like MOST yankee fans

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Copyright 2010 Bros Like This Site LLC