Thursday, May 14, 2009

#17 Swingers

For every group out there, there are movies that they cling to and call their own. For potheads it’s “Half-Baked,” acid freaks love Pink Floyd’s “The Wall,” Black people love pretty much anything involving Ice Cube, and Bras have Lifetime movies about the fact that all men are rapists. But for bros, there is one movie that stands above all. Of course I’m referring to “Swingers.”

It’s really tough to put into words the impact that a fairly unknown movie when first released has made on the bro community. Much like a scarlet letter would identify sluts in the good old days so does a “Swingers” poster hanging in a bedroom/dorm room identify Bros. By hanging a poster of Vince Vaughn holding that martini glass, you are telling everyone that walks into your room that you are money and you are ready to party.

The movie has transformed the way bros talk. Bros love to get themselves pumped up to go out by shouting – “You are so fucking money, and you don’t even know it!” A lot of time this occurs while staring at himself in the mirror and is followed by chugging a red bull and then crushing it against his head. Extra bro-points are awarded to anyone who can provide additional more random quotes in their AIM away message/facebook page, including the quote about Mikey being the guy in the Rated R movie or about “killing the bunny” with claws.

Some people think that Bros love “Swingers” so much because it is the perfect movie to get over a break up, but those people are fucking idiots. Bros don’t get broken up with, they do the breaking, and that is a fact. Bros love this movie for one reason and one reason alone: Trent. Trent is Vince Vaughn’s character and he is everything any bro can ever hope to be. He is the ladies man – a fast talker and hilarious. He picks up hot Vegas waitresses and girls that look like Tina Yothers from Family Ties. He is a bro king. It’s impossible for a bro to watch Swingers and not want to be Vince Vaughn.

So while all you bro-haters out there watch your cult classics like “Donnie Darko” and any thing involving the word “Star” us bros are gonna stick to movies about what we know best – getting fucked up and slaying mad hos

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

amen, bro

Anonymous said...

this is the best fucking blog ever. youre spot on with every frat bro i have ever met. congrats...bro. crack a frat soda (save the can to put above your bed) as you should be very proud of yourself.

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Thanks Bro - Frat Sodas are the shit

Anonymous said...

r u fucking kidding aim was cool in middle school but im not talking shit i love this site and you my friend are a frat star

Anonymous said...

watched swingers for the first time yesterday because of this site, fucking best movie ever

Anonymous said...

i'm gonna make wayne gretzky's head bleed for super fann 99 over here

this is the greatest blog ever to hit the world wide web.

get B.R.O.T.O.R.I.O.U.S. this year at school, bros.

Anonymous said...

swingers is great. how about some love for wedding crashers.another great vince vaughn performane coupled with will ferrell as the ultimate bro.

Brostradamus said...

Swingers is awesome, wedding crashers is good, mostly in the beginning, but I think that The Big Lebowski needs some love here, every line is a classic quote, and the story is just too funny

Anonymous said...

This movie is the fuckin tits! I spend every day failing at being as great as Trent. Side bar to the creator of this site....Bro....Awesome.

Anonymous said...

NYB - never seen this movie.. but downloading it right now. for free. true bro

Anonymous said...

the main character in this is a bro-hater.

Fratrick Broneill said...

My bros and I couldn't agree more. This was the best choice for THE bro-movie ever.

1) Relatively unknown.
2) Doesn't try too hard.
3) Slays

Bro hard

Sylvester StaBROne said...

don't forget about Favreau and Vaughn's other great Bro film, called Made. Another Fratsterpiece

NYSBROker said...

Spot on..this movie gives me a fucking broner every time I watch it. The only other movie that should be referenced by anyone leaving a comment is Made with Favs and Vinny, like Broneill said.

Heyo Radio said...

reading this while watching Swingers, money.

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