Ask any bro - “What’s your dream job?” Nine times out of ten I guarantee he will reply “Own a bar with my bros.” The other time he will either say male prostitute or porn star, but that’s just because he doesn’t realize you have to bang fat chicks as a male prostitute or that porn stars inject their cocks with adrenaline shots to get them hard (I mean we’ve all done it – just not on camera), but I digress. The point is bros fucking love bars, and would love to hang out in one all day long rather than sit in some shitty cube. Fortunately for bros – they can live the dream vicariously through the owners of Paddy’s Pub in Philadelphia. Bros fucking love “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.”
Honestly, if you have never seen it, you need to go fucking buy all of it on DVD. I know there’s some bro hater out there chomping at the bit to say, “Excuse me sir, but this idea was done already on Cheers.” First of all, I would like to say fuck you. I’m not talking about a fucking bar where pedophiles (Norm and Cliff) go to get up the courage to meet up with the 15 year olds they met in some chat room – I’m talking about a bro bar. Sunny is a show ahead of its time. There are only a handful of shows (#27 Eastbound and Down and #47 Entourage) where, much like bras with any show dealing with marriage or cooking, bros make plans to be together to watch the new episodes and Sunny is one of them. Bros love the fact that there is cursing on the show even though it’s not on HBO.
Bros fucking love all the characters on the show. Dennis is the ultimate bro – not only does he get fucked up all the time, but he bangs pretty much every slam piece he meets. He also tapes that shit without them knowing, which I really respect. Mac is alright. He can be annoying at times, but he is still funny as shit. He also loses a shit load of bro cred for banging that pre-op transvestite, even though it is hot as shit. Bros think Sweet Dee is actually pretty hot, so it really doesn’t matter if she is funny or not. Bros like Frank, mostly because they love seeing Danny DeVito talking about shitting everywhere and trying to bang 19 year old Asians. And then we come to the last character. Bros everywhere agree he is by far their favorite. Charlie. How do we know he is their favorite? Because every fucking bro in the country knows at least one bro who dressed up as “Green Man” last Halloween. Charlie is fucking dumb as shit, which makes bros feel better about themselves. He eats cat food, can’t read (“You think a pirate lives in there?”), and sniffs glue to get high. By the way, you know there are bros out there who have huffed glue just because Charlie does it.
So, if you have never seen this show, do yourself a favor this weekend when you wake up hungover on Sunday and buy this shit. You will not be sorry.