Tuesday, April 20, 2010

#115 420

Nearly every group in society has a number of great significance. Some common examples include Red Necks with the number of their favorite NASCAR driver or White teenagers who think they're Black with 187. While these groups may be content in worshiping just one number, bros never settle.

Throughout the years, Scholars and theologians alike have constantly and violently debated which number is in fact the most bro. On one hand, you have 69. Whenever 69 is mentioned in any context bros immediately unleash #13 high fives and fist pounds and start laughing about how awesome it was that someone said “69.” Bros also love putting 69 into everyday activities. For example, anytime I get some hot slam piece for a waitress, no matter what the bill is, I always leave her a 69 cent tip along with my phone number. A lot of times she’ll say some shit like, “Wow, thanks for the 2 percent tip,” and act all mad, but I really know she's just hiding her excitement after receiving the invitation to take a ride on the Pound Town Express. Fucking slut.

While 69 is without a doubt a fucking amazing number, there’s only so far that you can take it. I mean honestly, how truly bro is a 69? Why would a bro ever need to go down on a girl? Everyone knows girls get off by giving BJs. Why else would they say they love it so much in porn? Besides, bros should never be worried about "taking care" of a girl. Isn’t it reward enough just to be hooking up with a bro? Can you say selfish? Anyways, while 69 is a truly inspiring number, I present to you an alternative. A number that can be enjoyed by bros multiple times each and every day. A number that symbolizes our need to hide from the brocially charged oppression that sweeps our streets. A number whose mere mention causes bros everywhere to drop what they are doing and start telling the story about their #108 Spring Break trip to Jamaica where they smoked the dankest shit with a couple of the resort workers. That number is 420.

Smoking #70 weed is a fucking bro pastime. However, bro-haters realize this and make bullshit laws to keep bros down. That's where 420 comes into play. Not only do all bros know exactly what someone is talking about when they say 420, but stupid bro-haters have no fucking clue. April 20th is by far the greatest day of the year because it’s literally 4/20. Bros love to get together and have huge ass smoking parties outside on 420, just to say fuck you to the pigs and anyone else trying to uphold all their fucking bro-hater laws. Bros can get away with this shit by telling all the cops that they are just smoking #74 tobacco in their bongs, but the stupid fucking pigs have no clue that there’s definitely some buds in there.

Bros "Wake and Bake" every fucking day, but it doesn’t get much better than waking up on 420 knowing that you’re going to be high all day long. Being so high that little kids would think you are literally retarded is the fucking shit. After smoking so much you can’t even talk, it’s usually a good idea to pop in some entertainment. Movies like Dazed and Confused, Half Baked, and pretty much any Cheech and Chong movie are mandatory viewing for a successful 420. You also better believe that bros will be smoking anytime the word “weed” is mentioned onscreen. Smoking games are fucking 420 staples.

Unlike made up Hallmark Holidays like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day or Easter, you can celebrate 420 every fucking day of the year. While bros will go entire semesters without stepping foot in a classroom, there’s no fucking chance they’re going to miss that 4:20 appointment with their homemade gravity bong. Bros also love celebrating #63 America's time zones by smoking at 4:20 in each of them every fucking day.

While bros don’t really know exactly where 420 came from, they don’t give a shit. It’s a fucking symbol of our eternal struggle to live in a world that refuses to accept us for who we are. 420 is a secret society allowing bros to gather and recognize bro pioneers such Woody Harrelson, Bob Marley, and the stoner guy from “Road Trip,” who spent their lives working to make it a more tolerant world for bros. So as you pack that bowl in anticipation for the clock striking the sacred time of 4:20, remember to give a nod to those that fought so hard for your rights. While 69 may be an incredibly bro number – 420 will always be king.

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

today was the best day of my life

PeteyChay said...

bro king Hear this travesty, My school called a fake lock down drill for 420 trying to catch kids with weed on them and to generally freak blazed bros out.They K-9 unit. what a brocist society we live in

JimBro Fisher said...

Today has been the haziest, happiest chief session from the moment I woke up. Skipped class, got ripped all day, went to my bro-hating job, where my fellow bro-worker and I took Grav-Rips to the face at exactly 4:20. After I got home, my bros and I plowed through 10 blunts at the frat house and enjoyed a schmorgesborg of treats.

Let's all embrace our inner-Dude, light up a J, and say "fuck it"

Thank Bro for this day and this post.

Anonymous said...

NYB, as a slam piece, I'd like to say that you can give a 69 cent tip any day. Love it!

abroham lincoln said...

NYB you never cease to bromaze me. right now im still not sure whats going on hahah. happy 420 bros

Effmanny, King of All Bros said...

NYB, this bowl's for you.

Terri Schiavbro said...

69

Tom Brolfes said...

Smoke WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDD every day......................................................

Randy Bro-ture said...

Excellent post NYB. With one glaring exception. The words "Woody Harrelson" and "bro pioneer" should never be used in the same sentence. Other than that, legit post. Happy 4/20 everyone.

Anonymous said...

It may be against bro code, but i have had thee same girlfriend since the 7th grade and her name is Mary Jane. I love weed, hook'em playboys number one party school

Anonymous said...

4/20 at the University of Colorado @ Boulder = sick

Anonymous said...

4:20 was the time when a bunch of friends got out of detention and would go smoke weed

Bromeo Crennel said...

Bromeo Crennel here to say by far the Brofest of them all is 420. What can beat You and 10 of your bros fratin real hard, in a circle, feasting on food, and receiving more handoffs then Ki-Jana Carter had in his NFL career? I'd have to say nothin.

Thanks Bro.

Steele said...

420 is my birthday....best thing ever

Anonymous said...

Around 4 pm; after a long day of blazing, hacky sack, and ultimate, Twelve bros and I loaded up 8 bowls, 2 bubbs, 2 bongs, and rolled two blunts. We had about 9 lighters, so that we could light them all right when it turned 4 20. Epic

Anonymous said...

First off Excellent post NYB 420... but having said that Randy bro-ture should be banned from this site for being an impostor. His comments on Woody Harrelson make it glaringly obvious that he is no bro, and in fact nothing other than a bro hater. Sorry "bro" but if you have a problem with Tallahassee the only solution could be that you must be a fucking loser and most likely a virgin.

Anonymous said...

Ricky Williams = Bro?

Anonymous said...

Bros- I looked up "slam piece" on Urban Dictionary, to know what bro-king invented this term so I could remember his greatness while I railed a slam piece. IT SAYS IT'S CANADIAN. Either that site is a center of bro-haterdom, or there's some fucked up shit going on here- because we all know bros are American.

Anonymous said...

hacky sack and ultimate are gay as fuck

Anonymous said...

I agree with the post above. Both of those "hobbies" are for hippie fag stoners, not Bro stoners.

~gotta finish this joint before basketball

Anonymous said...

FUCK YES. I am so fucking happy you made the 420 post. set a new pb for how high i've ever been yesterday. one of the best posts yet. fuckin eh

Hockeytown BroSA said...

Hacky sack...you know how I know you're gay?

Anonymous said...

Yesterday my frat's cook rolled up with a tray of weed brownies and warned everyone they were extremely potent. A bro from my pc had 2 back to back, then proceeded to smoke multiple times throughout the day...today it is pretty clear he suffered some type of brain damage, but in my mind it was worth it for the bro cred he's been receiving all day for celebrating 4/20 like a champ

Pacman BROnes said...

Without a doubt the highest I have ever been in a 24 hour period in my entire life. Me and my bros started 4/20 at precisely 12am, stayed blazin to hit the first 4:20 sesh, then ended up not going to sleep til around 6 from being too high. Next morning, I awoke at around noon to the four blunts I pre-rolled before going to sleep. My three bros and I split three quarters and, after straight blunts all day, managed to still end up with a little under a quarter. Looks like we're set for the next few days.

Blaze on bros, shout out to professional athletes who still recognize that being high makes you better at sports

Brock said...

How to bro it up on 420:

1. You better fucking believe you need to smoke exactly when the clock strikes midnight on 420. Bringing in the holiday is usually done with multiple personal bowls loaded with hash and kief for every bro present.

2. Then, you can either stay awake high as fuck watching Pineapple Express, Super High Me, Half Baked or something like that, or set your alarm for 4 AM so you can be up for the first of two epic smoking seshes at 420. Then, pass out. Then, wake and bake again. Yes, multiple times on the same day. Then, smoke your ass off all day, probably get some food

3. then smoke a half ounce blunt with 5 of your closest bros at 4:20 PM.

Follow this up with going to parties, continuing to smoke weed (this is the one day of the year it is acceptable to only blaze and not drink). Find one of the hottest slampieces at your school, take her smoking and 420 V-card with some of her slampiece friends, then bring her back to your movie theater suite dorm room, and take her to fucking pound town.

Then smoke again.

That was my day. Interesting side note: upon smoking in the mountains with the slampieces at night, it began to snow. Thus, my first white-420.

Anonymous said...

4/20 is my birthday, therefore you know I get high as fucking shit every time I see a fucking birthday candle.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, brosef. Thank you very much. This is a Brocabulary number that every Bro needs to know

Anonymous said...

good job on this one. except for one thing you should already know 420 is what it is cause its bob marleys fucking birthday

Randy Bro-ture said...

All I have to say to the anonymous pussy who calls me out and questions my sexual experience is FUCK OFF! You obviously don't know your shit, otherwise you would have known that Woody Harrelson, while he does believe in getting high, is a noted environmentalist, and even worse, a vegan. Sounds more like hippy bullshit to me. Stand down boy. You're not winning this argument.

super smashed bro said...

while weed is pretty awesome, every bro loves getting weird on some natty light and making bad decisions. drinking is still better

34DD said...

super smashed bro, you are not cool. im only 17 and even i know that weed is the way to go. yeah i had a lacrosse game on 4/20, does that mean i wasnt high? no. does it mean i didnt eat a brownie on the bus ride to the game, while slapping away the stupid girls on my team that thought it was a regular brownie trying to stuff their fat faces? no. 4/20 was an extravaganja. dont hate weed.

Anonymous said...

super smashed bro, you're obviously missing the point.

While most bros will prefer alcohol to bud, 420 is a completely different topic. a) Alcohol is legal. b) There are already at least 100 holidays dedicated to getting shitfaced (at least by any bros calendar), including St Pattys, New Years, Birthdays, Thanksgiving eve, Syllabus Week (fall and spring), cinco de mayo, football weekends, weddings, funerals, victory over japan day, etc.

Marijuana is basically legal on 420. The channel G4 had a fucking 420 marathon on all day. While I've never been, I could only imagine how fucking awesome Boulder is. It's one day where bro-hating "society" fades out into the haze because everyone everywhere is so fucked up.

420 is the shit.

By the way, Abe Lincoln is quoted saying he hit the hash pipe. Therefore, if you don't smoke weed, you're a fucking racist. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Anonymous said...

^^then clearly this post isnt for you go look at the other 114 posts. take a lap

Anonymous said...

False. Every fucking thing bros do is awesome. there are no bad decisions when youre getting fucked up, fucking shit up, and fucking hot bitches. It's not about how you get fucked up, it's about how fucked up you get. Bro on.

Anonymous said...

not that any one cares but 420 has nothing to do with detention or bob marley's bday, it is the number code fucking pigs use to call in a pot bust...now you know

Anonymous said...

^^^ wrong anonymous. Edify yourself.
http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/marijuana/a/420meaning.htm

Anonymous said...

Obviously you're no bro if you dont think Woody Harrelson is a bro pioneer. He's the fucking man and blazes mad trees. And 420 is NOT what cops use to call in pot busts moron.

SUHper Bowl said...

A) woody is a bro but veganism really cuts down his status
B) happy draft day bros

Anonymous said...

Bullshit. 4/20 is for hs and college kids trying to fit in. Real fucking bros dont need a number to tell them when to get high. Real bros are that high EVERY fucking day. End of story.

Anonymous said...

anonymous you obviously don't understand the meaning of 4/20. clearly it doesn't tell you when to toke (like you say, a true bro should never go a day of his life without being fucked up in some way). 4/20, like everything else that is brotastic should have a day of recognition, ex: new years, 4th of july, and mardi gras

Anonymous said...

Fuckin' right doggy. No need to wait until 4:20 to get fucking baked out of your mind, it's just important you're ready with a blunt/bong/bowl to spark at 4:20, even if that's gonna be the 8th time you torched one that day.

And Woody Harrelson is a fucking bro pioneer, no questions asked. Also highly recommend Fast Times at Ridgemont High amid the great movies NYB mentioned. Can't say enough good shit about Jeff Spicoli.

Tate BROcier said...

Hahaha 4/20, the Dane Cook of smoking holidays. While a bro never passes up an opportunity to get mad blazed, every true bro must come to Ann Arbor's Hash Bash at least once. Where the streets are filled with people smoking pot all damn day. Honestly, some of my bros and I just sat under a tree in the law quad and took bong rips for hours. Extra bro cred if you offer a toke to a cop, who will probably turn you down because they hit it to hard earlier.

Ari Brold said...

smoking pot is the fucking best, me and my bros hot box my car before every lacrosse game, its fucking great

Anonymous said...

34DD, there are sluts on your lax team?

Anonymous said...

weed is for amateurs. unless you're like 18, celebrating 420 is about as gay as thinking jnco's are cool. grow up children weed was cool in high school, alcohol is far superior any motherfucking day of the year.
ihsv

Anonymous said...

sick new bro site

http://highschoolbroslikethissite.blogspot.com/2010/04/high-school-bros-ove-this-1-changing.html

Anonymous said...

Bro's love the draft. BROBY GERHART.

Anonymous said...

just so you know, 420 originated in san rafael, CA at San Rafael High School. back in the day, some bros would meet up after detention every day and blaze together. this happened at 4:20 pm and eventually 4/20 became a fuckin holiday

Bronstantine said...

Anonymous with the website plug-

You fucking suck and so does your site. It's so bad that it won't even let me post how much I think you fucking blow taint. First of all, "Bros love drinking flavored smirinoff"...are you fucking kidding me? Smirinoff is for sorostitutes and sperm shitting cockboys. Secondly, you try way too fucking hard and you don't know shit about anything. Do I go to the ivy league? No. But the ivy league gave us beer pong, blueblood networking, the frattiest organization ever Skulls and Bones, and Brommander in Chief George W Bush.

I hope your pledge hazing is so bad that you are left more beaten up than gene upshaw's prostate. Enjoy fucking the goat.

ih

Anonymous said...

4/20 started in the 1970's at San Leandro High School in California. A group of guys were always in detention, and once they got out, they met under the bleachers at 4:20 to blaze.

BROver it said...

I just discovered this site like a week ago and wasted no time in reading every single fuckin post. This site is the tits but how bout a future post about fireworks? and how they make sluts cream their panties and go well with drugs and booz.

Bros fuckin love fireworks.

In Hoc

Anonymous said...

420 is the police code fucking bro-hating cops use to alert each other when they find someone with weed.

Last of the Brohicans said...

This doesn't even apply to 420 but man, bros are the best at exams - probably because bros are the smartest people on earth. Last week I was writing an exam clearly knew every question had time to hit my slam piece in the bathroom and check the exam over twice. God damn right I was first one out. Why? Cause I ripped that fuckin exam and wanted to get shit-wasted. Why? Cause it was a nice fuckin day out that's why and what the fuck else is a bro gonna do on a sunny Wednesday but do a five-beer funnel and hit slam pieces

Edgar Allen Bro said...

Last of the Brohicans is a true bro. Bros are the smartest people on earth. I always finish exams early to hit slam pieces and dominate beer pong.

Anonymous said...

4/20 spent in Boulder. It doesnt get more bro than smoking weed at 4:20 with 10,000 other bros on campus instead of going to class

Anonymous said...

bros love 4/20..the smoking culture is booming because of bros there's even brands of clothing now that cater to bros smoking weed like this blaeZe clothing brand. That's why America is so great money, power and pot.

Smoketrees said...

for all the imposter bros, 420 started at San Rafael High School in San Rafael CA. Yes this is the bay area, yes california is the epicenter for weed in the US, don't even debate that. so these bro-kings smoked at 420 after detention daily, (bros are badass and normally get detention for calling girls sluts and making them cry , but we all know bros skip detention and smoke weed anyway because they are fucking bros)... thus starting one of the greatest HOLIDAZE ever. therefore we smoke at 420 everyday especially on 4/20.

shaquille broneal said...

420 is great and all but on may 1st in toronto you can blaze up in a park with 40 000 other people at 420. they say this past weekend saw the biggest cloud of weed smoke in one place, ever.

Anonymous said...

NYB IS A BRO GOD.

catch a fire

Broey Votto said...

As bros,

we should be stoned every day of the year, not just 420. its a bit overhyped

Brobi-Wan Kenobi said...

Great post.

If you are wondering, 420 came from Bob Marley's birthday, which is April 20th.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing better than getting blazed as fuck and quoting grandmas boy or watching Star Wars with the bros all day while P groove/Sublime playlist goes on in the background

the big labroski said...

me and my bros kicked off 420 this year by sparking up 10 blunts at midnight and watching surfer, dude which is a total bro movie that i recommend

Brower said...

I got to comment, for all you bro's out there. Be jealous, my birthday is 4/20. Yes I am born on the day that is greatest day of celebration of bro's. Did I mention yet that I'm born and raised in the city that accepts and understands bro's? Amsterdam
You may come visit anytime to come bro it up with me

The Man With Bro Name said...

420 is to weed what New Years Eve is to drinking. It's fucking amateur hour.

Bros don't need a holiday to get baked for 12 hours. They do that shit on a random Tuesday.


And by the way - 420 is not police code for drugs, it's not Bob Marley's birthday, it's not the number of chemicals in THC, and it's not any of the other dumbass urban legends that bro-haters think are the origin of 420.

The ACTUAL origin of 420 is from a group of young stoners who went to San Rafael High School in San Rafael, CA in 1971. They used to meet at a statue near campus at 4:20 after school to get high and then go looking for a rumored stash of weed plants growing in the hills near Point Reyes. They later started saying "420" to each other around school grounds as a code for getting stoned that teachers didn't understand at the time. The term started spreading around the country because one of the kids was friends with Phil Lesh, the bassist from the Grateful Dead (the band was living near San Rafael at that time) and he found the whole thing funny and introduced the term to various Deadheads when he was on tour.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a bro (I'm not rich, automatically not a bro), but I live in the state where Prop 19 will pass. I'll blaze you out foshow, the City of Angels is way better on tree!

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