Drinking games are fucking ill. They promote less talking and more drinking which after all is the point of getting fucked up. Perhaps the greatest drinking game for bros is beer pong. This is the ulitmate game for a bro to show how much of a bro he really is. Nothing gets the competitive juices flowing like Natural Light, ping pong balls, reused SOLO cups, and two cups of warm water.
You see, amongst bros, you will command the most amount of respect from your fellow bros if you can dominate the table. For example, when someone asks you what you did on Saturday night, and you can honestly say, "Yo, me and DJ held the pong table down the whole fucking night, bro" you might have what it takes to be a bro-king. Holding down the beer pong table also gives you the right to call everyone that loses to you that night your bitch, because quite frankly, they are. If you are good at beer pong, you are famous among your fellow bros. They will all want you to be their partner, they will even brag to rival-bros about you, "Yo - my boy Tim is a beast at pong, we will take any of you fuckers on."
You can always spot a beer pong brofessional by the way he plays the game. You might be able to recognize him by some of his habits:
- always demanding to shoot from the right or left side
- having nicknames for racks of cups that you have never heard of (one guy asked me one time to put the rack in a 'Lame Grandma' a rack I have always foolishly called a "Triangle")
- knowing exactly how much beer belongs in the cups and always knowing when to call out "is there beer in that cup"
- knowing the precise time to try the dangerous, yet highly rewarding "bounce shot"
- And lets not forget the cluth factor - if you can hit 6+ straight shots ON rebuttals to go to overtime - not only are you famous for the night, but you are a legend. The best stories ever start out with, "Dude, Bobby hadn't hit a fucking cup all night..."
Maybe the best thing about beer pong is the health precautions taken. Now back in the days when my bros and I were college freshmen, money was tight. So, instead of constantly purchasing new expensive SOLO cups, we would just stack up the cups after a night of games not worrying about cleaning out the cups because, hello, alcohol is a disinfectant, and throw them in the fraternity basement cabinets. Then, we would come back with our fresh cases of Beast the next night, rinse out the cups and have at it. Times have changed. Now, we bros have jobs and can afford to shell out that extra $1.99 for new SOLO cups. What hasn't changed is our ever present health consiousness.
A staple in the game of beer pong has and always will be, the water cup. When throwing the balls in competition, there is always the chance that the ping pong ball will somehow find its way onto the floor. Now, chances are, your beer pong room does not have a floor which you can eat off of. So, what are you going to do when you get a pile of dust/ashes/band aid/pubes on the ball? Boom - you hit that shit up in the water cup. Cleans all. How, you might ask? Umm, did I mention that it was warm? Nuff said. Plus, if that's not enough for you, there are times during the game where someone will even call for NEW water cups. Some say its overkill, but not me. Health is always most important.
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