Tuesday, April 14, 2009

#6 Beer Pong

If there's one thing bros like more than getting fucked up - it's getting fucked up while competing against fellow bros.

Drinking games are fucking ill. They promote less talking and more drinking which after all is the point of getting fucked up. Perhaps the greatest drinking game for bros is beer pong. This is the ulitmate game for a bro to show how much of a bro he really is. Nothing gets the competitive juices flowing like Natural Light, ping pong balls, reused SOLO cups, and two cups of warm water.

You see, amongst bros, you will command the most amount of respect from your fellow bros if you can dominate the table. For example, when someone asks you what you did on Saturday night, and you can honestly say, "Yo, me and DJ held the pong table down the whole fucking night, bro" you might have what it takes to be a bro-king. Holding down the beer pong table also gives you the right to call everyone that loses to you that night your bitch, because quite frankly, they are. If you are good at beer pong, you are famous among your fellow bros. They will all want you to be their partner, they will even brag to rival-bros about you, "Yo - my boy Tim is a beast at pong, we will take any of you fuckers on."

You can always spot a beer pong brofessional by the way he plays the game. You might be able to recognize him by some of his habits:
  • always demanding to shoot from the right or left side
  • having nicknames for racks of cups that you have never heard of (one guy asked me one time to put the rack in a 'Lame Grandma' a rack I have always foolishly called a "Triangle")
  • knowing exactly how much beer belongs in the cups and always knowing when to call out "is there beer in that cup"
  • knowing the precise time to try the dangerous, yet highly rewarding "bounce shot"
  • And lets not forget the cluth factor - if you can hit 6+ straight shots ON rebuttals to go to overtime - not only are you famous for the night, but you are a legend. The best stories ever start out with, "Dude, Bobby hadn't hit a fucking cup all night..."

Maybe the best thing about beer pong is the health precautions taken. Now back in the days when my bros and I were college freshmen, money was tight. So, instead of constantly purchasing new expensive SOLO cups, we would just stack up the cups after a night of games not worrying about cleaning out the cups because, hello, alcohol is a disinfectant, and throw them in the fraternity basement cabinets. Then, we would come back with our fresh cases of Beast the next night, rinse out the cups and have at it. Times have changed. Now, we bros have jobs and can afford to shell out that extra $1.99 for new SOLO cups. What hasn't changed is our ever present health consiousness.

A staple in the game of beer pong has and always will be, the water cup. When throwing the balls in competition, there is always the chance that the ping pong ball will somehow find its way onto the floor. Now, chances are, your beer pong room does not have a floor which you can eat off of. So, what are you going to do when you get a pile of dust/ashes/band aid/pubes on the ball? Boom - you hit that shit up in the water cup. Cleans all. How, you might ask? Umm, did I mention that it was warm? Nuff said. Plus, if that's not enough for you, there are times during the game where someone will even call for NEW water cups. Some say its overkill, but not me. Health is always most important.

75 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fucking idiot, call it beruit. There is a different drinking game WIDELY known as beer pong, played with paddles and two tall glasses to seven points. It is a fun game; however, There are NO other games called beruit. Therefore it makes more sense to call what you described as beer pong, 'beruit'.

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Upon further review - yes, you are correct, beer pong can refer to two separate games, however, when has a bro EVER played Beer Pong with a paddle. That is a serious bro offense and I am confident any bro would know immediately what Beer Pong is really referring to. The mere suggesting of confusion puts your Bro-ness in serious jeopardy. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Number #1 up there is a fucking faux bro.

Anonymous said...

only those east coast ivy biters call it beirut. what the fuck is a beirut anyway? bud from egypt?

and while pong is the best bro game, dont forget about the best game to play when the bitches are about, flippy cup.

Anonymous said...

its definitely beer pong, and extra bro-cred for incorporating #20 Quoting Movies with the Billy Madison reference

Anonymous said...

what about calling out the bros across the table for hitting the "abortion" cup or the center cup on the first rack with 10 cups. Most bros will let their competitor know that they enjoy killing babies as they sink the "abortion" cup.

Anonymous said...

I don't think any bro should call it "flippy cup". it's flip cup. And beirut is what fucking yankee faggots all it. It's beer pong.

Anonymous said...

Beer Pong is the offical game of Bros.

lancerboystennis said...

it should be called beer pong. but in response, there was a civil war in lebanon (in the capital city of beirut) and they simply lobbed bombs over a wall from one side to the other

Anonymous said...

Beirut sounds french and as such is for non-bros. If i called beer pong Beirut, i'd have to kick my own ass

Anonymous said...

there is only one true bro way to solve the beer pong vs. beruit controversy.....the best bros from east and west coast will play.....one game..to end all games....

steve-bro-chill said...

Is it just me or is having online comment arguments very un bro-coming of a bro? you're better than this.

Anonymous said...

every bro knows that baseball is the most supreme bro drinking game. you consume more beers in 9 innings of play and its super competitive. every bro loves a good competition, and baseball is where its at. the combination of flip cup and pong is genius, making it a heavenly choice for getting blackout

Anonymous said...

beer pong is the ultimate game to get fucked up, not only are u exerting ur manhood by being fuckin better than the other fool, but u get to get fuckin wasted and dominate bro-haters at the same time. i think all bros will agree that beer pong was made for bros and bros alone. but i think there is one thing better, strip pong, first u get to insult bras, (because obviously their not good) and while ur killin their self confidence ur gettin those nips. beer pong is srtaight american.

Anonymous said...

bouncing is for pussy's

Anonymous said...

Well if your looking to keep it healthier and reuse the cups for life, fill the cups with water and drink from a can...Pong is great, but Di rules too

Tom Brokaw said...

Part of being a bro is being better than everyone else. Calling beer pong beirut means you know what you're talking about and you don't lower yourself to the level of "beer pong" players.

BroStin 3:16 said...

anonymous you said fill the cups with water and drink from a can... this is very very un-bro..

i had the unfortunate pleasure of encountering bro-haters who were playing like this a few weeks ago thought it might of been the gayest shit iv ever seen.

this is beer-pong bro - pick up that skirt and get the fuck out of here

Bro Dangler said...

The following are bro-haters:
- Beirut bro(hater)
- 'Bouncing is for pussies' bro(hater)

Anonymous said...

if u r a real bro, century pong is where its at, 100 cups and a 30 rack on each side

brohagon said...

Anyone that doesnt play airballs are fucking pussys and it means you fucking suck at beer pong. rebounds are the shit too. I cant stand how pussy faggots from the big ten play pong. Just like in football SEC schools are superior in beer pong too. Get on our level and make up some decent rules instead of having 2 gweedo fucks on each team stare at each other and shoot. Thank you

DankBroChill said...

I'm from Boston. Most of my bros, including myself, either call it 'beer pong' or 'root'. Root, or "ruit" maybe, is easier to say than beer pong in my opion and has more flow than saying 'Yo, lets get a game of beer pong going'. Nobody says Beruit, that's just fucking queer.

Bouncing isn't for pussies either - it shows that you know what your fucking doing and can take advantage of some dumb loser who thinks they're better than you.

Filling the cups with water can be a good call, mostly for when your playing at some slam pieces house when her fucking parents are down the hallway. If you hear them coming in you just hide your brews and say you're playing with water. Obviously we're not just playing with water, we're fucking bros. Fucking bro-hating parents.

Robert DenirBro said...

true dankbrochill or you could tell her dad to fuck off and bang her slam piece milf

Napoleon BROnaparte said...

Another legendary moment is shooting and getting the ball to somehow balance in the space between 3 cups in a triangle rack. I've seen it done only a few times, by some truly great bros, to which the game ends and the other team is #77 heckled.

Another tip to add to the bro-ness of the game: bomber cups. This is where the cups are filled to the top as much as possible without overflowing. Yes, some spillage will occur during shooting, but what bro isn't down for chugging a full cup if a shot is made? We can just get some bras or bro-haters to clean the spillage up, anyway.

NJ Bro Boss said...

Napolean that 3 cup balancing bull shit is the stupidest thinkg ive ever heard be a man and make the cups. The game is called Beer Pong. Only Masshole faggots from the worst fuckin city in the world, Boston call Beer Pong Beirut. Beer Pong is however the biggest possible brosport followed closely by baseball which gets you so fucked up

Anonymous said...

bros play beer pong with paddles whenever they visit their bros from boarding school at dartmouth. obviously if you don't have bros at dartmouth you are not a bro at all.

and to the flippy cup guy if you're not from the east coast you might as well be a foreigner. and foreigners are the opposite of bros.

calling beirut beer pong is an offense comparable to wearing abercrombie or talking about poker strategy. i bet your dad owns a chain of mitsubishi dealerships and pretends he is actually rich

Anonymous said...

as all you bros already know, frat bros love to play beer pong, or BP, for short. but one thing that really pisses me the fuck off is when some slam piece you invited over tries to call "next game" with another one of her bra friends. slam pieces should just be there to watch, get me another beer, mop up the spillage, and dome me up after i death cup the shit out of the other team. i fuckin hate it when bras step out. speak when spoken to, damn it. i mean how many times do i have to watch a skeet broad shoot a line drive about 2 feet too long? fucking bullshit. beer me, bitch.

Anonymous said...

When someone bounces the ball I slap that bitch.

Anonymous said...

me and my bro played beer pong about a month ago at this rager, and some skinny -jeaned geeks had the audacity to suggest to put water in the pong cups to avoid "swine flu". fuck these fags and the horses dicks they sucked before they got there. it's called beer pong for a reason. i dont care where the fuck you are at, you play beer pong with fucking beer. not only are these kids not bros, me and my bro wiped them off the table and brought back two slam pieces that night, and i'd be damned if these broads weren't their dates that night. O BROyle Rules

Anonymous said...

Very simply: 1)anyone that call beerpong beruit is not a bro...2)anyone that bounces more than once per game is not a bro...beerpong is the ultimate bro game and should be treated as such...nothing is funnier than the beerpong list at the end of the night...true bros will never put their real names on the list...there is nothing funnier than when the winners of last game look at who's next and yell "who the fuck is Dirk Diggler and Travis Henry?"...instant bro-cred

!Bro me taze said...

My two personal favorite nicknames:
"Party in the back" (sideways triangle)
and "Mario Flag" (sideways triangle with one extra cup on top)

Also, BP is the shit. The best is skunking slam-pieces so they have to run around naked.

Does anyone else play "Island cups"?
Like when there is one cup that no other cup is touching, and if you call it and sack it, you get another shot?

Anonymous said...

Don't forget about the side beer while playing beer pong. All bros get thirsty while they run the table all night long especially when the play against weaker opponents

Dome Getter said...

Uhhhh the name of the fucking game is "Beirut." The first poster on the comments thread had that much right. Also, "Beer Pong" was played in one of the greatest bro movies of all-fucking-time - Beer Fest. In my book, that makes it A-OK for bros to play too.

Weren't any of you fruitcakes in a goddamn fraternity? Didn't think so. Homos...

Alex Brovechkin said...

man one time me and my bro-fo-life went to this chicks party and fuckin ran that shit like champions. 15-0 and all the slam-pieces could do is watch in awe.. and then be slain by us of course

Anonymous said...

Bouncing is absolutely for bitches. A real man, check that, a real bro doesn't need to rely on gimmick rules to win at beer pong. A real bro can look across the table at the gerald he's playing and make him his bitch by making more cups than him. Simple as that. End of story.

affliction shirt said...

who plays beer pong with paddles? nobody. gaaaaay

bouncing is a dirty little trick. kickin em when they are down. even better when you both make it for balls back. its part of the game, if you cant defend your rack, get the fuck out and go play "flippy" cup.

favorite rack name, the Mel Gibson. a cross, rightside up to the person across the table. but
try playing with no reracks, that takes skill. any retard can hit a triangle.

affliction shirt said...

other rack names:

great wall of china... all cups gone but the back 4. the worst rack in the game, not counting variations like a 7-10 split

eye of death/circle of life...hit each corner cup and the black hole in the middle. giving u a circle

just the tip... make just the front cup

the second row of cups, with only 2cups, are known as titties. u sink em both, u just titty fucked the other team.

an obvious one, hit the 3 that make up the inner, smaller triangle. leaving the outer triangle without the bottom. thus the flying V is born

as for the poster who mentioned the island rule. i play with something similar. we call it the straggler cup. you have to have at least 5 cups on the table. one of those cups CAN NOT be touching any other cup, becoming the straggler. you call it out and if you make that straggler, it counts as 2. the 2nd cup is the losers choice. each player gets one straggler attempt per game if at all. if you miss or make it in a non straggler, it doesnt count. a bounced straggler would count as 3, but all bouncing rules apply

Brostin Brones said...

well said nyb. Bro pong is fuckin legit. what is better than competing against fellow bros and bras while slamming back brew dogs.

Anonymous said...

Although many bro-haters, who are ill-informed call it beer bong, the original and correct name is "beruit" or "ruit". First of all, the first colleges where our ancestors dominated the table are from the east coast; therefore east coast knows all things bro. Beer pong is played with paddles. Don't be a novice and call it that.

Anonymous said...

its called beruit not pong. pong is played at dartmouth with handle-less paddles and is the true bro way of playing the game. this is because "beer pong" was invited at dartmouth and that other boring less skillfull game called beruit was adapted later at who knows where. you are a true bro if you can come play pong at dartmouth at alpha delta (the frat that animal house was based off of)

Anonymous said...

bros- this game is clearly fucking called beirut

Terrell Browens said...

Swedish Vagina- when 3 cups are left and they are placed in a crooked semi-vertical line (because everyone knows that girls from Sweden have crooked vaginas).

You gotta mention the elbow rules too. A bro's elbow may never cross the plane of the end of the table when shooting. If a competitor ever leans over the table when they shoot, then bros will instantly shout: "Watch your fucking elbow!" Said leaner will usually be kicked off of the table and it's likely that an "asshole" chant will ensue.

Anonymous said...

mario flag-three cups in a line front to back with one cup on the left between the 2nd and 3rd cups

lance armstrong-make three in a line front to back and move the back one slightly to the left or right, making it a dick with one nut

Anonymous said...

to the people hating on boston...i dont know who the fuck youve met but me and my bros call it beer pong (what the fuck is beirut? sounds french, and guess what - the french are pussies)also about bounce shots - true a single bounce is disgraceful, but ive seen some truly amazing bounces - one player bounces off the table while the other bounces off the wall/cieling - if you nail that, 4 cups gone plus you get to shit on the other kids for not having any coordination

The Real Bro King said...

Lets get one thing fucking straight--anyone who tries to tell the east coast prep school/ivy bros to fuck off need to check themselves. We are the elite bros. The term bro originated from our very existence. therefore, we can call it whatever we FUCKING want.

Any retard can put on a polo, go to a state school, and join a fagfrat. Only the elite bros get into the best new england/ivy league schools. And the more legacy you have, the more bro you are. So fuck you dumb rednecks. AND TO THE RETARDS WHO THOUGHT WE PLAYED ROOT WITH PADDLES---ITS A DIFFERENT FUCKING GAME. DAMMIT THOSE CIRCUS BITCHES CAN NOT HOLD THEIR BOOZ. and to that jersey fag nj bro boss--you're from jersey, thus not a bro, but a gweed. get it right and stop posing

Flowking said...

Yeah the originial fucking bros came from east coast prep schools you motherfucker. From the likes of Taft, Choate, and Hotchkiss emerged elite bros who fucking changed the game for the future motherfuckers.

So fuck yall who hatin for no reason!

Anonymous said...

Beruit is for brohaters. BP is for the true bros Boston Bro Repin'

BullamBRO said...

Bro's let me lay it down here. To be a bro-king, u gotta play with 9-oz cups, not those pussy-ass 16 oz cups you used in high school cuz that's what your friend's milf would buy from BJ's. 9oz cups mean u can't just pray and spray, u gotta aim. Have 5 or 6 back, play with airballs, and leave the empties in, make an empty and u pull one of your own. Rack when there are as many empties as there are in the back. and its called Ruit (Beirut works fine too).

Anonymous said...

the ceiling bounce is where its at

Luke S said...

ITS CALLED BEIRUT

Darmouth bro's play beer pong. All other bros (mostly) play Beirut. East Coast motherfucker.

Brohan Santana said...

A billy madison and happy gilmore reference by one of the anonymous boys. After my teammate misses a shot(cause i never do), i yell IS THIS GOAL REGULATION SIZE OR WHAT!

Anonymous said...

pong or ruit, whatever you choose to call it. we get the point. whats more important is enforcing the rules you set, true bros always enforce nudie runs, absolutely no fingering/blowing, lone rangers/island cups, troll rule, and most importantly: no t OT

Anonymous said...

I could never look my dad in the face and tell him I bounced a ball...

Cali-Bro said...

As a long time beirut/beerpong Hall of Famer, there are a few thing that must be cleared up:
1) The bounce shot is not pussy. It is a true bro v. bro challenge. It incorporates offense and defense. Plus, it allows for the one of the greatest pong/ruit rules of all "The Backhand". The Backhand is when someone bounces and a pro-bro backhands that bitch-bounce back into the opposing bros cups for a 4 cup bitch-slap. It is the ultimate insult for a bouncer. Also, the bounce is quintessential for getting bro-haters and slampieces off the table quickly. These douches literally can not play defense. So if you want to beat these pathetic teams quickly, the bounce plays.
2) If you play no overs then you you're a pussy un-cordinated bitch and should be liable to lose your bro card. If you play no overs, then get on your knees and eat that dick bitch. Go home and shove your thumb up your ass while crying to your favorite Twilight movie.
3) Next, although no bro prefers to play slampieces, a true bro knows how to take advantage of the situation. Every bro knows that playing slampieces is a fucking joke, but it is also the best way to get a free strip show from these dirty whores. There is an unwritten law in ruit/pong where a bro fakes being distracted by a slampiece's striptease in order to get them to act sluttier. In all honesty, a true bro can hit the last cup while sucking on a titty if needs be. It's a delicate balance of beating the slampieces swiftly to let the next bro feel the wrath of your pong skills and getting the bitches across the table to dyke out with each other. In any case a true bro knows how to do both.
4) Drink your fucking beers! A bro-fessional ruit/pong player drinks his beer when it's made. Only pussies compile a games worth of beer in one cup. All bros should abide by this rule. Drink your beer when its made and always have a side drink. Thats it!
5) No fingering, but slampieces can blow. Because after all bros would rather get blown than finger a dirty slam piece.
6) If you lose and dont make a single cup you must be humiliated because only bro-haters can't make a single cup. Whether they get Trolled (sit under the table for the entire next game) or something else humiliating. One must be punished for being a pathetic loser.
7) And lastly, house rules must be honored. Nothing is more annoying then having every fucking team complain like little bitches about how their rules are better and other shit. Sack the fuck up, and beat those cock-gobblers at their own game. Kick their ass then tell them to get off the table and to Eat a Fucking Dick.

-Cali-Bro out!

BRObi-one-kenobi said...

To all you North Eastern fucks:

How are you going to disagree with NYB, who fucking sets the rules for bro-hood? I don't care if it's called Beruit, but bros call it Beer Pong because they're fucking bros and they don't play any pussy paddle games.

Most of the southern bros got into all your Ivy league schools anyway because we are bros and the smartest people on the planet, but during a campus visit we saw bro-haters playing a pussy game with paddles and calling it beer pong. It was for that reason, awesome tailgates, and the abundance of sorostitutes that we chose an SEC school and not Dartmouth or Brown.

Brobama said...

Bros, the rerack of a ture bro is called Obama aka Change. You take four cups and make a square but leaving space inbetween them giving you four islands in the shape of a square. Only ture bros can win the game after calling this rerack.

Brobert said...

who the fuck cares what it's called. your gettin fucked up either way. ppl call it different shit depending on where you live. In my area, ppl call it beer pong. So when someone says "beer pong" im thinkin a triangle of solo cups.

Anonymous said...

Real bros don't sanitize their balls with hot H20.

Anonymous said...

I saw the most rare site in Beer Pong last night. My bro hit EVERY SINGLE CUP in a row. I've never seen or ever will see anything crazier than that for the rest of my life

Anonymous said...

If you care about whether its called beer pong or beirut, then you probably suck at both.

Anonymous said...

Call it watever the fuck you want, i'll still kick anyones ass in it

Anonymous said...

if the loser gets shut out they drink the water cup full of pubes, vomit, and dog shit

Anonymous said...

the best orientation for cups is called "us fucking you". which is 4 cups in the orientation of 2 cups side by side parallel to the end of the table and 2 perpendicular to form the shape of a penis with the head pointed towards your opponents. Not only is this a strategic orientation it also lets your opponents know who the champs are by giving them a subtle "fuck you"

BROise Bro said...

tight vagina is the best four-cup lineup known to bro-kind.

always enforce the naked mile for hitting no cups.

behind the back celebrity shot=seriously fucking bro king

Cali-Bro knows how to fucking bro!

Anonymous said...

i'll take any of you bros out

Anonymous said...

beruit sounds like a fucking arab that was conceived in the back of a corolla...bros play beer pong, tools play beruit. and whoever uses paddles in a drinking game is a homo.

blaqe said...

its beer pong. fuck all you bros only trying to rep bros in one area... bros need to stick together in these hard times.

LeBROn james said...

Beer pong is and forever will be the ultimate game for bros. One thing my bros and I love to do: get throwbacks from the same team but different players and wear them while running the fucking table. My pong bro and I rock throwback Cavs jersies...I'm craig elo and he's mark price. This time, MJ is not hittin that fucking shot over elo.

The naked mile rule must clearly state that no bro will ever run around naked in front of other bros; this is for slam pieces only. Troll the fuck out of those bros.

Lastly, the amount of Happy Gilmore quotes that apply to BP is unfuckingbrolievable. "Well, better luck next year" "somebody's closer" and my personal favorite when a bro misses an island shot "you better get a beach towel and some sun tan lotion, because you're never gonna get off this island, just like you never made it to the NHL....jackass."

Anonymous said...

your forgetting one fundamental element of a true beer pong player, maybe this was already noted in previous comments and im just fucking blind but everyone can tell a real player from a stupid ass rookie by one simple move,and that is the finger snap used to dry the ball off after its shot into a cup, thats what separates the men from the boys.

Anonymous said...

First off, it is beer pong, not beirut. I live in the northeast and I hear I have to hear this fucking argument almost every fucking day. Second, if you try to rep Dartmouth or any other Ivy league school...you are clearly not a bro but in fact an elitist prick. Daddy's money ain't gonna buy you shit on the table. Go stick those paddles right up your asses.
All houses rules should be followed, man up bros and beat those pussies at their own game. Or not only will your bro status be revoked for not being able to beat slampieces and randoms at their own game, but for your status as a poser bro.

And whoever said that you have to drink beer out of the fucking cups is retarded. If you've ever been to college, you know that whores, sluts and other STD carrying bitches use those cups. I ain't gettin the herp from some dumb bitch...end of story. If you play like this however only a real bro enforces his own drinking,ie. as many beers as you can fucking drink during the game.(bare minimum 2 + side beer).

Best rule ever-If the first cup the other team hits, cause I never do this shit, is the center cup, or "rookie" cup, they lose instantly. Real bros got skills, get that spray and pray shit off my table.
O and if you're playing against me...better chug those cold ones cause you ain't gonna be on the table long.

Anonymous said...

the finger snap! mfw right there.
also i think you mean seperates the bros from the bitches*

Anonymous said...

Sep 26, 2009 is a fucking homo. If i ever see someone playing "water pong" i would fuckin revoke ur bro license. Brokings never play waterpong

brian scalabrone said...

i just won a 64 man college beer pong tournament as a junior in highschool suck my dick posers
#6
fuck off everyone

Anonymous said...

The game is called ruit. beer pong is for some folly faggots who are making a last second effort to be social after they straight posted in their home on weekends doing homework in high school. True bros call it by ruit and when you hear someone say "Dude, can i play some beer pong?" you automatically know they're soft as shit and are pussies.

As for the bounce rule: ruit is a competitive game and the bounce rule makes sure your opponents are paying attention. you can swat that shit once it hits the table so i dont know why tro ass faggots complain about that shit--you play to win.

Jerry Sandusky: my newest favorite rerack. two in the back one right in front; looks like a triangle but its really two nuts and a little rod that pedophiles fondle with

Anonymous said...

Im from east coast and I live in a "Yankee state" we call it beer pong. U may wanna check ur info before u go around sounding like a dumbass

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