#18 The Shocker

One thing is for sure – bras absolutely love digital cameras. It gives them the opportunity to take pictures and choose which ones they look cute in so they can upload them in a facebook album most likely entitled, “GoNnA BuY YoU a DrAnK” or “GoNnA MaKe LoVe In ThIs ClUb.” That’s where bros come into play. Bros don’t like the power bras have in this situation, so instead of just smiling and flexing their pecs bros spice up the picture. They throw the shocker.

When bras inspect their pictures the next day, keeping only those that give the illusion that they are not fat, they see what you have done. “That asshole ruined the picture!!!” they exclaim. Ruin it? We just made it better.

For those of you bro-haters who don’t know, the shocker is when you put your index, middle, and pinky finger out. Sure it doesn’t seem very cool, but that’s before you hear what it symbolizes. That’s right two in the pink and one in the stink! Now I have never actually given a bra the shocker as I have fundamental problems with entering exits, but I know people who have and they said it is the shit. The only thing better than giving the shocker in a picture is giving a super-shocker, which is an extension of the pinky, ring, and index fingers aka two in the stink and one in the pink.

Overall, a well-timed shocker/super-shocker can give you major bro-cred and make any boring picture absolutely hilarious.

Welcome

Welcome to Bros Like This Site– yeah this is a direct rip-off of StuffWhitePeopleLike.com but I take protein, and you don’t, so you can go fuck yourself.

Anyways, I wanted to start off this blog by explaining just what a “Bro” is.Wikipedia defines “BRO” as “Indian military maintainers of army and civilian roads in border areas, better known as ‘Boarder Roads Organisation.’” First of all, Wikipedia is full of shit and they don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. At a high level, a bro is a guy. A girl is a bra and they have no place in this conversation.

A bro can be defined by these characteristics

1) Gets fucked up. By far the most important quality of being a bro
2) Takes mad protein
3) Hooks up with mad chicks.
4) Above all loves hanging with his bros and would do anything for them, even let them drive when they’ve had too much to drink.

Now, I know what you are thinking – “Oh, I know what bros are, they are the guys who everyone wants to be/fuck!” Wrong – little do you know there are bro-enemies out there:

Bras – this is pretty much just a nice way of saying bitches, which bros always refer to women as. They try to kill our buzz by telling us we are “lame” or that they are “pregnant.” They can’t be trusted and there is no room for them in any capacity.

Bro-Haters – Better known to you as Nerks, Dorks, Dweebs, or Recovering Alcoholics. These people do not like to get fucked up, which is rule number one of being a bro and therefore I hate them. You can find often find them at the Library, Church, AA meetings, or Laser Tag arenas.

Look back here in the coming weeks for updates on all the Shit that we Bros like and tips on how you yourself can become a Bro.