Previously referenced in #7 Stories about College Parties, Kegs are a bro staple. Three kegs is pretty much the standard for any party. Bros will however just get one keg to chill on, but this is primarily for a pregame rather than an actual party.
Bros love talking about where they get their kegs. Extra bro-cred is given to whoever knows the place that sells kegs the cheapest, no matter how far away that place might be. In college, we used to drive 45 minutes away to pick up kegs of Natty that were $5 cheaper than the kegs at Food Lion just down the street, but it was totally worth it because we got to tell everyone about the place that sold $40 kegs and how great a deal it was.
Possibly the most valued item among a bro’s possessions is his keg tap. Every bro has a story about how he acquired the tap itself. Often times it will be passed down from his big brother in his fraternity, or more likely the bro stole it. This is a point of pride for any bro because the keg tap steal is one of the most difficult and biggest dick moves out there. If you are able to steal a tap from a keg in the middle of a party, you might have what it takes to be a bro-king. Everyone knows of bros who have attempted this, but I know of only one person who has ever been successful. He’s a really good stealer though, so it should be expected. This is the same guy who used to go to the library during exam time and when people would go to the bathroom or take a break from cramming, he would take their textbooks and sell them back to the bookstore. Such a bro.
Once you have your cheap keg and tap and the party is rolling, bros assume their favorite position: right next to the keg. Bros love hanging by the keg the entire night just chilling. This gives bros the chance to never have to wait to fill up their cup and maximize on brew. This also allows bros to let everyone know that they tapped the keg and that is why it’s pulling so well and there is such little head. Bros are experts at exactly how many pumps the keg needs and how the SOLO cup should be tilted during the pour. Bros can also tell how much beer is left in the keg by simply lifting the keg up and they do this pretty much every 15 minutes, usually making a point to show how heavy it is and making the announcement to the party that “We’re still in great shape” and that “Everyone should stop being pussies and start pounding their drinks.”