Bros are smart as shit. They realize that without a doubt, College is the best fucking time of your life. Why else would they make their parents pay for like six years of education? To become a fucking dentist? Fuck no. Bros realize that after the bro-hater that is graduation they're not going to be able to sleep until noon everyday while living in a constant state of drunkenness and/or clouded haze of weed. They won't be able to walk across campus and literally see girls slip in puddles of their own wetness just by seeing your face. They won't have all those #80 fucking nerds scatter out of fear due to the story they heard about you and your bros shaving the eyebrows off that loser last year for trying to be your friend. During their 4+ years on a College Campus, a bro is a fucking celebrity. He does whatever he wants, whenever he fucking wants. So why the fuck would any bro ever want to leave this hallowed ground for anything more than a weekend #79 road trip? To be honest, no matter how big of a party town you are in, you need a change of scenery. I don’t care if you are on notoriously crazy campuses such as Austin, Tempe, Gainesville, or even the wildest of them all - Williamsburg, VA. Over the course of four years, a bro is going to get tired of doing the same old shit every night. Don’t worry bros - there’s a fucking cure. It’s called studying abroad.
Most fucking bro-haters will save up all their summer job money and even work during the school year just so they can get the opportunity to enrich their minds and possibly even use the studying abroad experience to do some community service in some third world country. Fucking losers. Bros realize the real reason why the study abroad program was invented: to get fucked up in a different country. I mean seriously, when was the last time that a bro told you they were studying abroad did they ever follow it with, “Oh yeah, I hope to learn so much about the Ancient Ruins during my excavation expedition.” Fucking never. Bros realize that every class they have to take while abroad is a fucking #102 joke. A semester abroad is nothing more than an overpriced vacation from the stress of skipping class and drinking your fucking ass off in College. Let’s take a look at a few things that bros love the most about studying abroad.
Slamming Bitches: Much like girls in America go down on pretty much anything with a European accent, you better believe that shit works the other way around when bros go abroad. If you can get past the whole armpit hair bullshit, then you should be ready for a nice foreign pounding. It really doesn’t get more bro than slaying some girl, who doesn’t speak a word of English other then, “Yes, Please,” on the top bunk in some Hostel while 10 other random strangers are in the room trying to cry themselves to sleep.
Getting Fucked Up: This shit starts the minute you get on the fucking plane. Since bros are smart as shit, they realize that International flights mean all you can drink free liquor. Getting blackout drunk on an International flight is a total fucking bro move. I always love getting wasted beyond belief and trying to convince the flight attendants to bang me in the bathroom. For some reason they always pass, so I just call them a #3 slut and talk about how many #24 abortions they’ve probably had with my bros. Fucking bitches.
The plane ride over is just the beginning of your reign of terror on whatever country you’re staying in for the semester. Immediately after meeting your host family aka the people who will be cleaning your #36 piss off the living room floor for the next three months, bros hit the town. While drinking the higher alcohol content brew is amazing, bros love taking place in one of the greatest European traditions - getting fucking #70 high. Smoking weed in Europe is an absolute must for any bro as is the required trip to Amsterdam. No matter how good it really is, bros will always claim that the weed in Europe was "the dankest shit I’ve ever fucking smoked."
Spreading American Pride: For the most part bros don’t even fucking know what country they are studying abroad in. Why would they give a shit? What difference does it make if they are in Belgium or Austria? It’s all fucking Europe and more importantly, not #63 America. Bros realize that America is by far the greatest fucking country in the World and don’t take shit from anyone who says differently. While abroad, bros love getting wasted and #4 chanting “U-S-A,” making fun of the locals' accents or customs, and most importantly telling all those fucking Commies to “Learn some fucking English!” This lets everyone know just how great America truly is.
College is the greatest time in any true bro’s life. It’s a time for banging strangers. It’s a time for peeing in microwaves. It’s a time for bros to be bros. While everyone in their right mind fully understands that this time is best served on the shores of freedom aka America, there comes a time where a bro needs stretch his legs and branch out. Luckily for bros, God invented studying abroad