Wednesday, February 24, 2010

#107 Studying Abroad

Bros are smart as shit. They realize that without a doubt, College is the best fucking time of your life. Why else would they make their parents pay for like six years of education? To become a fucking dentist? Fuck no. Bros realize that after the bro-hater that is graduation they're not going to be able to sleep until noon everyday while living in a constant state of drunkenness and/or clouded haze of weed. They won't be able to walk across campus and literally see girls slip in puddles of their own wetness just by seeing your face. They won't have all those #80 fucking nerds scatter out of fear due to the story they heard about you and your bros shaving the eyebrows off that loser last year for trying to be your friend. During their 4+ years on a College Campus, a bro is a fucking celebrity. He does whatever he wants, whenever he fucking wants. So why the fuck would any bro ever want to leave this hallowed ground for anything more than a weekend #79 road trip? To be honest, no matter how big of a party town you are in, you need a change of scenery. I don’t care if you are on notoriously crazy campuses such as Austin, Tempe, Gainesville, or even the wildest of them all - Williamsburg, VA. Over the course of four years, a bro is going to get tired of doing the same old shit every night. Don’t worry bros - there’s a fucking cure. It’s called studying abroad.

Most fucking bro-haters will save up all their summer job money and even work during the school year just so they can get the opportunity to enrich their minds and possibly even use the studying abroad experience to do some community service in some third world country. Fucking losers. Bros realize the real reason why the study abroad program was invented: to get fucked up in a different country. I mean seriously, when was the last time that a bro told you they were studying abroad did they ever follow it with, “Oh yeah, I hope to learn so much about the Ancient Ruins during my excavation expedition.” Fucking never. Bros realize that every class they have to take while abroad is a fucking #102 joke. A semester abroad is nothing more than an overpriced vacation from the stress of skipping class and drinking your fucking ass off in College. Let’s take a look at a few things that bros love the most about studying abroad.

Slamming Bitches: Much like girls in America go down on pretty much anything with a European accent, you better believe that shit works the other way around when bros go abroad. If you can get past the whole armpit hair bullshit, then you should be ready for a nice foreign pounding. It really doesn’t get more bro than slaying some girl, who doesn’t speak a word of English other then, “Yes, Please,” on the top bunk in some Hostel while 10 other random strangers are in the room trying to cry themselves to sleep.

Getting Fucked Up: This shit starts the minute you get on the fucking plane. Since bros are smart as shit, they realize that International flights mean all you can drink free liquor. Getting blackout drunk on an International flight is a total fucking bro move. I always love getting wasted beyond belief and trying to convince the flight attendants to bang me in the bathroom. For some reason they always pass, so I just call them a #3 slut and talk about how many #24 abortions they’ve probably had with my bros. Fucking bitches.

The plane ride over is just the beginning of your reign of terror on whatever country you’re staying in for the semester. Immediately after meeting your host family aka the people who will be cleaning your #36 piss off the living room floor for the next three months, bros hit the town. While drinking the higher alcohol content brew is amazing, bros love taking place in one of the greatest European traditions - getting fucking #70 high. Smoking weed in Europe is an absolute must for any bro as is the required trip to Amsterdam. No matter how good it really is, bros will always claim that the weed in Europe was "the dankest shit I’ve ever fucking smoked."

Spreading American Pride: For the most part bros don’t even fucking know what country they are studying abroad in. Why would they give a shit? What difference does it make if they are in Belgium or Austria? It’s all fucking Europe and more importantly, not #63 America. Bros realize that America is by far the greatest fucking country in the World and don’t take shit from anyone who says differently. While abroad, bros love getting wasted and #4 chanting “U-S-A,” making fun of the locals' accents or customs, and most importantly telling all those fucking Commies to “Learn some fucking English!” This lets everyone know just how great America truly is.

College is the greatest time in any true bro’s life. It’s a time for banging strangers. It’s a time for peeing in microwaves. It’s a time for bros to be bros. While everyone in their right mind fully understands that this time is best served on the shores of freedom aka America, there comes a time where a bro needs stretch his legs and branch out. Luckily for bros, God invented studying abroad

79 comments:

Anonymous said...

bad ass post

DunkinBronuts said...

Real bro's don't waste their summer with "studying abroad" they just get their rich ass dad to pay for a vacation to Europe or some badass island, that way they don't have to deal w/ this stupid shit called "class."

Bros rule

Anonymous said...

Bro-S.A.! Bro-S.A.!

Anonymous said...

Bros definitely don't do any gay-ass-shit like make a travel blog or take pictures while abroad.

And condoms are never used with someone who doesn't speak english.

Silvio Brolusconi said...

Study abroad class, like the post said, are even more of a joke than high school classes. Basically if you haven't tried to kill the professor, you should at least get an A-. I went to Italy this summer and the highlights included buying weed from the hotel manager, getting grinded on by 17 year old American girls at a club, teaching some Italian girls how to play 40hands, and getting drunk every single night. Oh yeah, and we had about 2 hours of "class" a day, which usually was just touristy shit in Rome or Pompeii and a chance to mess with the fucking Bangladeshis and Africans that sell dumb shit to Americans.

Scott BROsius said...

studied abroad last spring. one of the best times of my life, if not the best. you are dead on with this post, NYB.

SigChiBro said...

Fucking right. Studying abroad next year in France and then Sweden is going to be fucking sick. Swedish slam-pieces have to be among the hottest out there. The only thing I don't like is this 8 euro's a drink shit. Not a big deal though. It just means I'm going to have to lie more to my lawyer (AKA my father) about how much books, food, and living expenses cost over there.

-IHSV

Holy Bro-man Emperor said...

This post was fucking sweet. Only one thing. How is William & Mary the most badass campus? They have like, only one college bar, and the one time I went there it was filled with hipsters who were lamenting the fact that they couldn't marry their same sex partners.

I actually think I saw some people studying too. What the hell?

Nonetheless, as a bro, rolling deep with my bros, I set out to show those assplay lovers at the Green Leaf how shit goes down at a real college bar. The end result? They asked me to leave when I told some girl that she would be a lot prettier if she did something with her hair, got contacts, and had my cock in her mouth.

Green Leaf? More like Green Queef - because the whole place is like one big pussy fest.

Broadway Bro Namath said...

getting hammered with high alcohol content brew, foreign slampieces, and turning public areas of florence into my own personal bathroom made studying abroad that much better. screaming USA in some little italian dude's face is fuckin priceless.

FRATTYLAX.BRO said...

W&M might seem like not a Fun school, but it produces some of the best Bro's of all time. I had a Rec Basketball coach in high school and he came drunk to must of all of the games. He walked in in his suit looking Broey as shit and was screaming at the other team. we went to get our trophies from his apatrment in DC. He had a slam piece asleep on his floor and a counter top of Beer bottles and Absithne. He Broed out

Great Post: I want to go see spain. Get drunk and get in soccer fights, maybe learn some spanish like More Cervaca's por favor. . ha

Anonymous said...

Despite the fact that it snows every fucking day, Penn State is such a bro school. This weekend is State Patty's day, a day that was created because celebrating St. Patrick's day in like 3 weeks isn't enough for the amount of alcohol we need to consume. It's more or less a "we don't have football season to celebrate, so let's just make up a fucking holiday and get shitfaced."

The only thing that sucks is the university tried regulating a lot of shit after 1. being named #1 party school and 2. having some idiot freshmen die during fall semester because he drank too much and fell down a staircase.

Regardless, Joe Pa is such a bro, and so is anyone else that wears the blue and white.

Excellent post NYB, I can't wait to study abroad next spring.

Anonymous said...

european girls dont like bros

BROde Miller said...

^^^^ Fuck You, you don't know shit bro-hater. Your probably sitting sipping red wine, listening to Mozart, and talking about society with some lesbian bitch. You just think European slam pieces don't like bros because of some lofty perceptions you have of Europeans. HINT: European bitches ride bro's all the time they don't want any of your pussy never seen tits except your mom's shit. GET OUT

Broman Bromanovich said...

Study abroad freshman year. Sending 18yr olds to London was the greatest thing some bro ever invented. While all your bros at home are hiding beer from the cops and drinking in the woods you are taking a piss in a red phone booth.

Even better though: Spending time abroad on your company's tab. It's like studying abroad except you're getting paid.

Brocelona said...

Currently taking a year off in Spain before college, honing my bro skills for the Big Show. Greatest fucking decision I have ever made.

Sure the guys wear capri pants and tankinis to the gym, and bro-hater bouncers give you shit for not having a shirt on while you're grinding. These are minor blemishes on a country that gives you three free hours every afternoon to fix your hangover, considers responsible students to be the ones who make it through class without puking, and worships American culture to the point that rocking a pair of NBA socks would probably let you take Penelope Cruz to Pound Town.

To any bros currently abroad, one word: Desperados. Beer made with Tequilla instead of useless shit like hops and barley. A night of those will have your BAC looking like an ERA

Lee CorsBro said...

NYB, this post is right on the money. I'm in South Africa right now havin' the fuckin' time of my life. Drinks are cheap as shit here and there are a shit ton of slam pieces to choose from. I go out....spend like 400 rand at the bar (which is only like 60 bucks) and that buys me at least 15 beers. It's the fuckin' shit. The other day me and my bros went to this bar at about 4 and my one bro broke the bar record by drinking 16 liters of beer. It was fuckin' epic.

The only problem: HIV is the biggest bro hater of all

Bros are the shit.

Brofessor Einstein said...

The biggest bro-hater of all in Europe is SoloCup. You gotta have your bro's in the US ship you that shit.

Angelina Brolie said...

Let's stop the bro on bro violence, bros.

Anonymous said...

BROCELONA,
I will be in Spain during March...this beer/tequilla thing sounds like fun.

I will smash many-a-slampeice while there.

P.S. Best party schools are in Texas

Anonymous said...

to the bro who commented about vacations on your company's tab... right on the fuckin money. when i was a senior in hs, my buddies dad was co ceo of an appliance dealer. me, my bro + another and his dad got to go on a cruise for february vacation. shit was fucking amazing - we spent most of the nights grinding on spanish pussy and getting blackout on el presidente. we also got cards for the boat that let us get WHATEVER we wanted - saw a 24k necklace, grab that shit and hand em the card - all on the company. end of the week comes around, his dad goes damn you guys only spent 1500? you know you could've bought as much as you want? goddamn we were heated but that was the greatest week ive ever experienced. NYB, solid posts as always, keep em comin bro

Schubro said...

Florence, Italy......is where the all the bros go. I bro-pounded the shit out of my Italian student director on one of our wknd field trips to Rome. Woke up, laughed hysterically at the site of my naked passed out teacher next to me in my hotel bed. Two hours later I sat down in the Vatican during our tour, only to pass out for 30min and loosing my group all together. Sooo i left, went outside and bought a few over priced drinks as I waited.

C-3PBro said...

Great post NYB, great fucking post. Bros need to be spread throughout the world to let other countries know that we fucking run everything. There's nothin like a U-S-A chant in another country. Fuck yeah freedom.

Calan said...

Fucking spot on as usual NYB. I studied abroad in college and pissed on every fucking church in Florence, Italy. I even yakked all over the steps of the fucking biggest church there. Next move: Teaching abroad. I am in Thailand where the slam pieces are fucking poundable as all shit, therefore they are almost considered people, but not quite because they're brown. I don't do shit every day and make all my grades at the end of the semester, so essentially I just smoke weed and come to school and flirt with my 18, 19 year old students and their moms. It's raw. For the bro that already graduated but needs more foreign pussy: teach abroad.

William Jefferson Clinton said...

Manswers has done a pole which says that 80% of Austrian women have given head in their lives- higher than any other country in the world, giving them the dignified title of "easiest women"...... hellooooo Vienna.

I attribute America's failure to win this on rug munchers and feminists. Fucking bro-haters.

Anonymous said...

i think you meant to write charlottesville or harrisonburg for party town, williamsburg is dry as shit, william and mary is not a bro school, but regardless european bitches suck better cock than most american slam pieces

Rho Bro said...

NYB, I'm glad you acknowledge that Tempe is still one of the top ridiculous party campuses. Lately, it's gotten quite the bad rep as "declining", which is complete bullshit. Bro's know that Tempe is the home to Arizona Slampiece State. We go to class just to "scope" out the potential. Tucson still sucks.

AEKDB

Tommy Brohama said...

Screaming fuck me harder sounds the same in any language. Also, European slam pieces don't have diseases so going bareback is option number one. And if you get the slut pregnant, so fucking what, you live in America, which the last time I checked not even fucking close to Europe. Stewardesses ARE bitches, truth.

Anonymous said...

Me and some of my bros had to spend fourth of July in France this summer. However, it just happened to be that at the hotel were at, there was a french wedding going on that night. When they did their fireworks for the wedding, we started a huge USA chant and soon enough all of these other Americans who were on tours and shit joined in and drowned out all the sound of their wedding and celebration. Fucking domination

Anonymous said...

I vote this site should be changed to a .edu site because it is definetly used for educational purposes

Anonymous said...

even though blackburg is totally bro, studying abroad in spain in brodrid, brocelona, or bilbro is gonna be epic. weekend trip to sweden? definitely a broquirement for a eurotrip. slam.pieces.

Broseiden of the Brocean said...

When in any country other than America (and in some shitty latino parts of "American" cities) It's customary and encouraged that you rent a car with you and several of your other American Bro's, Wave American Flags proudly out of the car, and scream, "U-S-A!" at every corner, pedestrian, other car, everywhere.

leBRO james said...

studying abroad is definitely every bro should do, it entails getting fucked up, foreign slam pieces that don't speak english (and therefore can't annoy you), and getting fucked up. Unfortunately me for me I'm in business school and these bro haters won't let us go abroad. Oh well, I guess the english-speaking slam pieces can't speak and annoy me when their mouth is full of my cock amirightbroz?

BroIsland said...

First off sick post, I haven't studied abroad yet but next year I plan on going to Italy. 2nd off if fellow Bros are going to study abroad do not go 2 France. It is the most Anti American Bro Hating place on this planet. Plus they all smell bad r stuck up ass hole wine slurpers.Bro's rule

nolabro said...

Valencia is Brokingdom.

Studying abroad in Ukraine and or Moscow is the shit (during the summer) because you don't have to mail order the brides, the slam pieces are just there, waiting for you.

Broey Chestnut said...

My study abroad last year was in Barcelona. Before that though I did some backpacking- drunk in Dublin, played golf at St Andrews, smoked in Amsterdam, and then when the actual study abroad started, I got it off in Barcelona during the UEFA championship. Frat.

By the way, Ryan Miller is the man. USA USA.

BROshown Moreno said...

Additional reason why studying abroad is awesome - making no attempt to learn the native language except "beer." Bonus points if you learn "MORE beer."

Gator wear jean shorts.

Anonymous said...

Great post NYB. A few years ago, I was abroad, and I literally pissed all over two big, blonde Germans who were look-alikes from the "Beerfest" drinking team (the big German motherfuckers) at my hostel during the middle of the night after Oktoberfest. They woke up screaming at me in German but I managed to escape.

To confirm that the USA is the greatest country in the world, some very smart Bro in the U.S. State Department sends American diplomats walking around Oktoberfest making sure Bros don't get arrested by the Germans (aka SS) and rescuing passed out American bras from sex slavery.

I would like to see a few more Oktoberfest stories here on the comments. (And less UF/FSU bro on bro arguing).

Anonymous said...

To the Bro who mentioned the lack of Solo Cups in Europe, you are SPOT ON. They're very hard to find. I had to get them mailed to me to enjoy a huge beer pong night.

Just a heads up to Bros who are doing full semesters abroad and can't possibly go that long without pong.

NoBro Studies Abroad Like Me said...

This could not be truer. Atlanta to Barcelona, first class with a stop in Paris. I thought the plane would be where I did the most damage, it wasnt, dont get me wrong I was slamming down Beam so fast the guy next to me was shocked. But it was the first class lounge that caused me to end up in paris in the snow in an undershirt not knowing where to go in the airport with one eye open.

What a start to the drunkest 5 months of my life. Girls who go abroad, even the GDI's may be the sluttiest slampieces you have ever seen.

Every asshole who claimed they didnt want to go abroad in the fall because of football season and couldnt go in the spring, you fucked up! I have never done less, spent more on my dads credit card, or hooked up with more girls, only Americans, than in Europe.

Shit, a 5 month vacation during school, whats more bro than that.

Anonymous said...

yeahh there's definitely a crazy campus life in Williamsburg, VA...

BroJ Simpson said...

My favorite line is peeing in microwaves because i have a strikingly similar story. On the first week of the year, me and my bros shit in a bag and put it in a bro-hater's microwave and cooked that shit. you better believe that shit could be smelled throughout the whole hall. While the bro-hater RA attempted to find out who did it, me and my bros were doin high fives and shotguns in our room.

Mike Brosen said...

BroJ,

Do you go live in nj, i believe i may be living with you next year.

thats a very funny story you have there. one time, my bro shit in a microwave, came back and told me. we all did shotguns and highfives in his room

Bromer Simpson said...

Great Post NYB. "Studied" abroad in Spain junior spring. Went to visit fellow bros in Rome. Split a 1/5 in the half hour cab ride to see Roma vs. AC Milan. Proceeded to shotgun beers, chant "USA" and chug wine outside the stadium. Don't remember shit about the game. Woke up at a random SP's apartment. Wandered around Rome until morning. It was Palm Sunday so I had to follow people carrying huge ass plants to find my way back to my bro's apartment by Vatican City. Bros are the shit.

Happy Valley is where true bros call home

Apollo Brohno said...

Me and my bro play basketball in norway. All we do is get blackout and tell everyone how sweet America is.

Anonymous said...

NYB,
I totally needed this. I broed it up professionally in College. Now, I'm at the totally un-bro institution of law school. I got accepted to study abroad earlier today only to find out I may not be allowed to go because the bro haters known as cops gave me a PI while in undergrad.
Fuck that shit, I'm filing the paperwork and will bring the Bro-lightenment to England whether my school, bro-haters, or hippie Europeans like it or not.
-Brocious Macadocious.....

BROmar Vizquel said...

I love America as much as anyone else but these Canadian chicks pulled off a total bro move

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/IOC-to-investigate-Canadian-women-s-hockey-team-?urn=oly,224338

Darth BROsidious said...

Truth

USA USA USA

Leon Brotsky said...

NYB, another solid chapter in your gospel of chill.

My bros and I were having some brewdogs and debating whether or not a blog this perfect was actually written by a human. One broncbro suggested IBM Super Computer and defeater of Gary Kasparov "Deep Blue" ... but then we realized that Kasparoz is a Nerd (#80) and that any bro would have Stone Cold Stunned that CPU.

Good call on "studying" abroad. While in Florence last year with a few fellow members of the brolitariat we made a genteleman's effort to face shove as many Italian dbags as possible. This was especially true on July 4th and after USA Soccer did some smash work in the Confederations Cup. USA chants (#4) were flying.

Another great pastime of chilling abroad would have to be kicking over (#55) vespas. Those gy little things are just begging to be sparta kicked over with a domino effect. While in Barca (another must for any bro trip #21) we rolled squad deep (#8) with 25 bros and left a war path of empty beers, piss (#36) and knocked over vespas while switching bars to meet new slam pieces.

Anonymous said...

Williamsburg isn't bro at all. Lots of bras there are lesbians and the suicide rate there is bigger than my dick. No thanks, bro.

Broey Chestnut said...

william and mary is not bro. it's all hipsters that hang out at coffee shops when they aren't getting it in the butt

brode miller said...

word

Bro Mountain State said...

Wow all of you "William and Mary is not bro" people are toeing the line of bro-hating. If you read all of these posts like a true bro does, you would understand that the very person who writes these perfect blogs (yes, NYB)graduated from William & Mary. Any school who produces the sheer epitome of bro-king deserves to at least be considered and not bro-hated on.

Brotre Dame said...

So I'm domed up by this French girl in her apartment on a weekend trip to Paris, and she stops and was like "where do you prefer to cum in America?" in broken fuckin' English. At which point I said "only in the mouth...taste the rain-bro!" I fuckin' LOVE cultural differences...BTW no open container laws in Paris, so you feel like a fuckin' bro-gabond drinkin Amsterdam Magnum's 12% beer in the subway. Nothin' like getting shitty on public transportation (hint, hint article topic.)

Amsterdam said...

I'm studying abroad all next year in downtown Amsterdam. Be jealous bitches.

CU BROulder said...

not having had the opportunity to study abroad, you better fucking beleive upon graduation (5 year plan) i'm going to move my ass down to argentina and chile for several months of hard white drugs.
bros are the shit. GO USA FUCK CANADA today's loss was a real bro-hater.

Brode Miller said...

The only problem with this post is that NYB claimed that Williamsburg, VA is the wildest college town of them all. What kind of fairytale lie is that?

W&M fraternities are in old dorms and are connected to one another. That's the gayest shit I've ever seen in my entire life. If you don't even have a real house for a fraternity, what's the fucking point of going to college? Exactly...

jim broheim said...

studying abroad it awesome, leaving upper deckers in your host families toilet and walking into the wrong "water closet" just to piss all over the floor in front of a bunch of slam pieces is the way to go. And by the way Syracuse is where it is for bro's, fucking slam pieces everywhere and basketball is #1. Fuck you Georgetown.

Vincent Van Bro said...

Nothing like slamming foreign pieces and teaching them American positions. Also I love pissing on cobblestone streets or in front of famous churches or some shit. Another point -those girly body euro-dudes can't compete with American bulk in all forms of life.
Preach on bros

Anonymous said...

Brocious Macadocious, you at GULC?

Nabroleon said...

Yo, NYB sick post bro. but i got a better one for the next one. how bad canada sucks. make it happen man

Greg MonBro said...

jim broheim: syracuse couldn't be more of a joke compared to Georgetown. Bro capital of the world vs. upstate NY backwater. Please. I'm sorry you're poor.

deadmauBRO said...

Greg MonBro-

While I had a truly brotastic experience in G'town this past weekend, calling Syracuse a joke is blasphemy. I've thrown down multiple times at my bro's Syracuse frat while visiting, hit up Marshall St. and the like, and to be honest, G'town has way more bro-haters than 'Cuse

And if you're honestly trying to play the wealth card, get the fuck out of here - being from upstate NY, I can vouch for it having plenty of rich-ass brokings and trophy wives that have produced subsequent bros and slampieces - and I guarantee your parents' bank account is a fraction of mine - so have fun cutting yourself off at $10/night tabs for 2 drinks in Stuffytown...I'll be running up $500 tabs for drinks on drinks on Marshall in 'Cuse and Chippewa in Buffalo till 4AM (3AM last calls are for pussies)

Anonymous said...

fuck yeah, W&M is clean on the outside, but cream on the inside

sigmacookie said...

the number one song in greece when i was on term aborad was called "Do You like a Truck." oh euro trash people, thank you for helping making our playlist for our eurotrash-bash when i got back.
also whats better than smoking hash at an inter vs panathinaikos champions league match.

IHSV

BROcaine said...

i think a post about blowcaine is greatly needed

Broah's ark said...

Irish bros love studying in Ireland to learn about their culture...and that's crushin brews, Swipin v-cards, beating ass, and eating brotatoes

Maximus Broimus. said...

I did the bro thing called study abroad in Vienna for a year and I slayed so many SPs and slammed so many beers hardcore. The only thing that blew was there were not many bros just a bunch of Eurotrash hipsters that were to concerned about saving the environment and being gentlemen. My shinning victory is when I was slamming this Slovak piece and I started to chant USA USA USA and the slut joined in my chant.

Abroham Lincoln said...

Great post. Studying abroad right now in Bropenhagen, which has the best looking SPs in Europe, perhaps only tied by Brome. Plus everybody speaks English so you don't have to pretend to learn another language while slamming Carlsberg Elephants and dimes

The Real Bro King said...

Many bros actually speak foreign languages. the reason no one ever knows is because the truth is everyone should speak in american all the time (for obvious reasons). However, the more languages you can spit game in the better. There is an appreciable difference between a german moan, a spanish moan, and a swedish moan.

Anonymous said...

I am currently on a study abroad in europe and if i could give someone something to explain what i did there i would give them this blog. this has potential to be the most truthful thing i have ever read

Brian Brozworth said...

I never had the chance to study abroad, but right now I have a sweet ass job with the military, the job is fuckin cake, and I'm not living on some gay ass military base with a curfew, where you need proper ID to get in. I feel sorry for the bros down in the south of Turkey, they can't take SP's back to their rooms bc of security. Meanwhile I'm living in a pimp ass apartment on the top floor over looking the entire city. I have slaid many SPs on my balcony over looking the city, that shit never gets old.

Granted, I live in the capital of Turkey, and it's not known as SP heaven, but you just have to go places Americans don't go. I have the unfortunate situation of being the only bro in my city. I've only played one game of beer pong, but the wanna be bros and bras sucked at it so it wasn't worth playing. I converted a Turkish basketball player who is 6'11 to an honorary bro, but I don't know if he can get full bro status bc he's not American, I don't know the rules on this. His teammate is a TBB and he's 6'8, so that makes me at 6'5 the midget, but hanging with them helps me nail slam pieces bc they think I'm an athlete too.

Foreign SPs rule. I had a slam piece over on a work night, fucked her like only a bro can, then faked passed out bc I'm not down with cuddling. Woke up early to go to work, didn't wake up the SP bc I didn't want to drive her home, I came home, and my room was clean and all my dishes were done. Fucking SPs and getting them to do your chores is a total bro move.

Another good thing about being overseas, travel is cheap. I can take a long weekend and go to some badass city with lots of SPs. Going to Barcelona next week, am in London right now for memorial day weekend. London is badass, you can drink wherever you want, and no one even cares how drunk you are. Bad thing is, English women for the most part are horribly ugly, it takes work to find a SP out in England. The best place is Ukraine.....there are no ugly girls, the place is full of slam pieces, and the ukranian men are such douches that the SPs will literally fight with each other when they see a true bro enter the bar.

The only thing that sucks out here are the lack of bros.

Anonymous said...

william and mary brooooo!

Asianbra said...

Great post. Accurate. But missing a key ingredient. Study abroad does not only pose new foreign conquests, but also new domestic opportunities in your female study abroad companions. Not to mention, if you play your cards right abroad as a sophomore or junior, upon your return, you will have bras on all important US college campuses to crash with senior year whenever you need a change of scenery from your own.

Study abroad for bras = halloween for a whole semester. So save your pennies, bros, book your flight to Australia, and watch the Ivy League girls you thought you knew strip down to less than Mowgli from the Jungle Book and ditch class to watch you surf Bondi Beach everyday. Studying abroad is the girl-next-door's chance to leave it all on the field. Enjoy the game!

*To all the the Young Bros still choosing which foreign turf should receive the fruits of your eager loins, the University of Sydney is sexcellent. Bars in the academic buildings and uni-sponsored weekend wakeboarding trips. :)

Anonymous said...

i went on this camp travel and "service" program to Sweden and Russia or some shit and all we did was get wasted and fuck girls. I got with three girls on the trip and my hostess bitch (i.e. woman i was living with her family). overall a great $7,000 of my parent's money.

BRObi-Wan Kenobi said...

Great post. I spent last year in Switzerland and it was the bomb. You forgot to mention that drinking ANYWHERE in public is legal and I do mean anywhere...also you used to be able to smoke in bars but the bro haters (the law) put an end to that shit.

Also, on a trip to Rome me and some bros rocked Pub Crawls every night (yes we have the t-shirts still and yes, everyone was American) and you better believe I puked all over the Colosseum...probably the most epic place I've ever chundered...pretty sure I started singing "Chunderstruck" by ACDC right before.

Anonymous said...

I studied abroad in Austria two years ago....fucking nutty. Once you learn to shut the lights off while your pounding, the armpit hair doesn't bother you. You should do a post on Caddyshack, Seinfeld, or Back to The Future

Anonymous said...

I had to revisit this post because I'm "studying" abroad now. What you said about European girls getting as wet as the Niagara Falls over an American accent is too true. I left a club and tried to call another one of my bros, and got invited back with 4 girls who just heard me talking on the phone. Too bad I was only halfway through banging them when one of their boyfriends who lived in the apartment woke up and caught me. Anybody in my position would normally get their ass beat, but the bro-hater just told me to leave. I just laughed since I had already gotten to his girl. Bros fucking rule Europe.

Anonymous said...

Was at Spain for a year as a gap year at 17.. llbest year of my life telling short spaniards how Homo their haircuts are.. going into clubs with shorts and a t-shirt, talking about American football with my American bros, speaking English as loudly as possible and only speaking Spanish when talking to a slam piece. Got wasted every single day..

Mathew Stephen said...

Thank you so much for sharing this incredibel article. Your unique content showed me the path to find the best consultant to study in UK after 12th hope it will help many as well.

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