Friday, June 5, 2009

#28 Giving Girls Nicknames

It was a Friday night about six months ago. We were all in my bros’ basement pounding brews, playing beer pong and listening to some Pearl Jam, typical bro behavior. That’s when my bro’s girlfriend walked in with one of her friends. As she made her way around the circle of bros, I decided to size her up for a prospective pounding. Just as I do when I meet any young lady of the night, I began judging her from the bottom up. Legs were a definite check, as was the ass. Rack was very nice as well. That’s when I saw it. Her face. It looked as though her face had been hanging out with those refugee kids playing with landmines in Pakistan from “Charlie Wilson’s War,” no actually that’s too kind--imagine taking a buzz saw to Snuffulopugus’s trunk and leaving just a stump. Immediately, all bros met eyes and nodded knowing, “She needs a nickname.” Within 10 minutes we had narrowed it down to two names: Duckbilled Platypus and Snorkel. After much debate right in front of her we decided to go with Snorkel, possibly because its easier to say, I don’t know, but we went with it. After that no one bothered to learn her name, we just referred to her as Snorkel. You see, that’s the beauty of having nicknames for girls, they have no fucking idea you are talking about them, no matter how much you rip on them. Obviously, nicknames for girls are extremely useful and a staple for bros, let’s take a closer look at exactly how girls can get their nicknames.

The Hot Girl You Don’t Know – I can tell all the bras out there are fuming right now, especially all that know me personally, panicking trying to figure out what their nickname might be. Relax – not all girls get nicknames – if you are cool and are invited to hang out with bros regularly, chances are you don’t have a nickname. Also, nicknames aren’t always negative. Say you are in an Ethics class in college and this tall blond with a rack the size of the fucking Andes sittin in the first row. Well these days you could easily find out her name on facebook and stalk her that way, but back in the day we had to just go with “Ethics girl” or “Ethics slut” depending on what she would wear to class because we didn’t know her name. This also works at the workplace. Say there’s a hottie working on the 3rd Floor or in HR, you can just refer by her place of work like “HR girl” and everyone will know what you are talking about.

Sexual Nicknames – This is where things start to get degrading for the ladies. Bros are not gentlemen. Not only do they kiss and tell, they fuck and tell. Bros love telling other bros about the crazy shit that happens in the bedroom and they ultimately identify old slam pieces with moves they may have pulled off. Say a girl is not into “finishing the job” she might be known as “The Camel” in reference to their spitting ability. Or perhaps the lady tends to squirt – she might be known as the “Super Soaker.” Whatever it may be, the great thing about this is that bras would never guess that bros would tell their friends about their “abilities” and they would never ever guess they would come up with a nickname for them. Therefore, bros break these nicknames out all the time in their presence.

Nicknames Reflecting Physical Characteristics – Bros have perfect bodies. Everyone fucking knows that. It’s this fact that allows bros to judge all girls out there and if they aren’t a 10 in our book, you better fucking believe they are going to get a nickname. There is a wide spectrum of girls who earn nicknames from bros. For example, one of my bros used to hook up with a ridiculously hot girl, however unfortunately for her and very fortunate for us, she had a blond mustache. You couldn’t see it at all, but my bro could feel it during a makeout sesh. Obviously he told us about it and she was known as “The Walrus” going forward. I really can’t believe she didn’t catch on when everyone would get drunk and start yelling, “I am the Eggman!” and “Coo Coo Ka Chew” when she was around. I would argue the best nicknames come from physical characteristics the girl can’t control whatsoever. For example, in College there was this freak 6’2’’ “woman” who I swear had balls at one point in “her” life. Instead of letting her live her life peacefully we had to come up with a nickname: “Manbeast.” Everytime she would enter the Caf we would yell out – “Hide your women and children!! Manbeast is here!!” We also did impressions of things she definitely said in the privacy of her own home, such as “I am Manbeast!! I will club you and eat your bones!!!” This was mostly done with her sitting at the table next to us, which provided for the best comedic effect. I know what all you bras are saying- “You are such an asshole” well fuck you bitch, if she didn’t want to be made fun of, she shouldn’t have decided to be a fucking mammoth beast.

So, I’ve provided just a few of the many nicknames we’ve given to girls over the years – I would love to hear any solid demeaning names you bros have given to bras in the past.

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470 comments:

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Anonymous said...

This one chick we knew had a really square shaped body, so we called her the "juice box". Bros would go up behind her at the club and pretend to stick a straw into her head and then dance on her. She never had any idea and it always made for a great crowd pleaser.

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Incorporating props into your nickname is grounds for some serious bro-cred. Nicely done.

John said...

In college we had a girl that actually had double nicknames... 1. "The L Train" because her name was Lauren and she actually got double teamed twice in one weekend by 4 different guys and blew another. Everytime she walked into the caf we would yell "All aboard the L Train!!!" and 2. "Goalie for the Dart Team" because that's what her face looked she played.

John said...

Also- to incorporate body parts as nicknames... we called another Bra I used to bang "The Beak" because of her huge nose.

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Just think, some day L-Train will be someone's wife. What a lucky man.

John said...

Well, she'll probably be a great cook, specifically BBQ... since she's used to be on the "pig roaster."

Anonymous said...

That is fuckin sweet. i once knew a broad in college that we called burn victim and shovel face. Mainly because she lloked like someone lit her face on fire and then put it out with a shovel.

Anonymous said...

This post is near and dear to my heart, because my bros and i came up with quite a few nicknames of our own in college. First off let me say I'm impressed with some of the names I've seen in this post. We were especially fans of making nicknames for a chick's appearance:

Fivehead- This chick's forehead was so big it was a fivehead.

Skeletor- for obvious reasons... I think every group of bros knows a Skeletor

Sloppy Tits- our most famous nickname of all, and again for obvious reasons. Just about everyone fucked her, so everyone knew her "secret." The beauty of this name is that it evolved into Slop Slop and finally just Slop.

Anonymous said...

Knew this one bra in college...she would put out and had a nice everything except tits...they were so god damn small...

She earned the nick name: "mosquito bites."

Anonymous said...

One girl we knew in high school had a gigantic head. It was about the size of a large polar bear's. Our nickname for her was "DK Mode" a reference to that cheat code in Golden Eye, where you play with a big ass head.

Anonymous said...

I went on a term abroad and my buddy noticed a girl in the program that had DD+ titties. He initially named her "Tits Magee", but after closer inspection her name transformed like optimus prime into "Tits SAGee" in order to more accurately describe her baggage.

Ned's Younger Brother said...

I'm loving this shit - another recent one we had was for this absolutely disgusting girl who we called, "Swamp Thing" because well, she looked like Swamp Thing. Every time she walked into the room we would play this clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H5zXh6MVvg&feature=PlayList&p=902456E5558B5645&index=0&playnext=1

Yes, Swamp Thing, you are amazing...

Anonymous said...

that reminds me of a girl i went to highschool with, we called her swamp hog. because not ony did she look like she crawled out of a swamp but she was a fat pig too.

what a coincidence, i guess great bros think alike

BroKingNJ said...

Some of those are terrific. I went to school with a chick we called "Chutes and Ladders" because she banged like 15 dudes at different times and we all lived together. Now the chutes and ladders thing comes in to play because of social rank. She would bang someone that would be a total bro and then start banging a huge loser, hence she went down the chute. But she just couldn't get enough dick and would climb right back up that ladder. Back and forth it went.

Originality fellas...

Anonymous said...

Called one chick "Bones" because she was so skinny. Ended up in the hospital with an eating disorder.

Called another chick "E.T." for obvious reasons.

Called another "Beached Whale" because my buddy said it was like banging a beached whale.

Chris said...

We've had a couple good ones. There was this one chick who used to come to all of our parties. I still don't know her name. I don't think anyone does. She strictly goes by Alcoslut, cause she fucked anyone if she was drunk.
Another good one was 2Steps. Cause this broad was so dumb she was always 2 steps behind. Obviously she didnt understand the reference.
And finally, my favorite: Shitface. Cause this chick had so many freckles on her face it looked like someone took a wet splatter fart on her face.

Anonymous said...

there is this slut at my school that my bros and i named "surfboard" cause she was fucking skinny as a board and everyone rode her. it was pretty awesome too cause we could talk about fucking her right in front of her friends we'd just say that we went "surfing" and they had no idea what we were talking about

Anonymous said...

I knew this bra in highschool and she was HUGE slut and fucked guys every weekend. me and my bros called her the grand canyon cause she was so loose and there were so many visitors to the grand canyon (dicks in her pussy.)

Anonymous said...

This is a nickname for, not just one bra that I know, but for many bras who all share an inattractive and at times comedic attribute, CRLs.

Back in high school one of my now-best-bros invented the term CRL's,(meaning Charging Rhino Legs) with his friends. It was meant to call out any bitch who had massive redwood tree size thighs that gave the appearance she was running a 4.3 40 up a 70 degree incline at all times of the day. I mean thighs that make you and your fellow bros' look like the Olsen Twins, which is not easy considering we all know that every bro and his bros are all fucking huge.

It's always easy to summon laughs from your bros by dropping a ,"Jesus Christ look at the CRLs on that wildabeast," or sometimes just the casual, "That fridge in the corner was sure endowed with a frightening set of CRL's." Bras never even have a clue when there uncomfortably large hams are the source of laughs and high fives among the bros.

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Yeah, I'll never understand why girls choose to have huge thighs. Other good names for girls like this include "Centaur" (half-woman, half-horse) and recently we have been calling them "Mine That Bird" or "Barbaro."

Anonymous said...

We used to call a girl Shawn Merriman, whose nickname is 'light's out', because she had a great body but a shitty face thus you only wanted to be with her in the dark

Cliz said...

This is tough...some pretty solid bro cred given to those above. Sad story: I haven't dated anyone in 2 years who I have called by their real name. Here's the short list:
OG dummy
Dummy #2
Nutty
Sloppy
Gyno

Some of my bros have solid nicknames for chicks as well:
Wrelbows (because her wrists turn straight into her elbows; similar to cankles)
Dump truck
Dumber than bricks

I have previously discussed this in detail here: http://cliz-ih8u.blogspot.com/2009/04/is-life-really-that-bad.html.

Stay up bros.

Anonymous said...

Another kick ass nickname for just about any slut is landfill. I think it baically explains itself. Its even better when the slut in question happens to be named Jill.

Anonymous said...

I hooked up with a girl at the beach who had a bit too much meat in her downstairs region. On the way home my buddy and I stopped at an Arby's, when I picture on the menu called to me. At first I thought this girls' vagina was on the menu. Turns out it was just the "Big Montana." So girl from the beach, if you are reading this, your pussy is like a monster roast beef sandwich from a fast food joint.

Anonymous said...

in college, this one chick left a floater in the bathroom at a party. from there on she was referred to as "nugget" which was also doubled as her body type.

blackbroo said...

ahaha we call this girl in college rayleigh because her name is kayleigh and she loves gettin railed. Ahh its awesome being a bro

Anonymous said...

In college we would call this girl ManBearPig because she was more like ManBearPig then a Bra. Needless to say she was a female rugby pig. When she would enter the bar we would all scream MBP! MBP! MBP! However, she thought we were yelling MVP MVP MVP and feel cool instead of being the infamous ManBearPig.

Anonymous said...

I prefer play on words with their name. Obviously, the girl in question will no you are talking about her if she is within hearing distance, but it is still satisfying to come up with something that cleverly rhymes with this bra's name.

For example:
Manielle (Danielle)
Railey (Haley)
Wacki, Smacki (Jacki)
Fucking slutty ass whore (Maggie H.)

Anonymous said...

We had this chick that use to hang around with real crooked ass teeth so we called her grave yard becasue her grill looked like a old cemetary with crooked grave stones

Anonymous said...

Jacked up teeth = bottle opener

Alex said...

We had this one bra in college we called "the human condom" because she was so pale and skinny when you fucked her you could litterally see your dick going in and out!

Anonymous said...

I knew some bro's of some bro's that called this bra "flaps". Cause of her huge vag lips. Classic.

Anti-chimp said...

the first week of junior year me and my bros were celebrating our new off campus house by throwing a rager...

after a night of serious bro-slugging, one of my bros finds a hideous he/she asleep on the upstairs toilet. needless to say we started immediately fucking with her. one bro accidently bumped her as he was taking a bro-tastic picture, and the monster fell onto the floor, a jiggling heap of fatness. She looked like some sort of sea creature, and her nickname was "Beast" from that day forth.

Beast is still out there today, lurking, waiting for another group of bros to entertain.

Thank god I was born a bro.

Anonymous said...

chick with annoying ass voice always around us earns the nickname "bag", short for douchebag, whorebag, trashbag, etc. we do indeed call her this to her face. if you urbandictionary search the meaning of a 'trashbag' (insanely drunk annoying chick), the "used in a sentence" name is actually her AIM/ichat name. thank you ladies, gentlemen and fellow bros.

Anonymous said...

this bra that was friends with a slampiece of mine just loved to suck dick. one night she went to town on a few of my bros through out the night, when we found out in the morning she was forever deemed "hoover" after the vacuum.

Rusty Rudder said...

By far my favorites are "upside down Nike eye brows"
"Redwings" for obvious reasons

Anonymous said...

hey gentlemen, we think you're super cute but we have nicknames for some sweet bros too

summer's eve (brand of douche)
crybaby
"the two minute man"
tiny-tim...think about it
herpagonnasyphalitis


thats right we talk about you too. lovvesies

Anonymous said...

we nicknamed a fat girl kevin mawae in honor of the then ny jets center

Bro-From-DC said...

Dude, my bro used to bang some chick that I thought to call "Hallway" after he told us about a sexual encounter where she fucked him and inserted a dildo while he was inside her... bitch has a hallway vag

Anonymous said...

or ur bro had a tiny ass broner quite possible

Anonymous said...

We called a chick Signs and Stewie because she had a head that was shaped like stewie griffin.

She caught on....

Anonymous said...

We used to a call this chick Sasquatch because she was pretty large and would corner you and attack just like the Sasquatch from the beef jerky commercials.

In Hoc

cb said...

back in the day when I was a freshman or sophomore we used to call this girl "A-Town Stomper" because she had a gimp leg and fucking walked around like a stork or something.

we also used to give nicknames to bras based on which one of our bros had fucked her. for instance, there was this one whore that thought it would be a good idea to fuck our buddy Steven while she was on her period. they fucked underneath the back deck at a house party while random bros pissed off the deck above not even realizing the carnage going on below them. it was so dark that poor Stevo didn't even realize what was happening... the only thing concerning him was getting some sweet, albeit loose and bloody, vag. she bolted afterwords and Stevo grabs a brew and rejoins the party when all of a sudden someone yells out "STEVO WHAT THE FUCK IS ON YOUR SHORTS?" and he looks down and is like "OH FUCK WHAT A CUNT". Anyways, said whore's nickname instantly became "Bleedin' Steven"

Brocho Cinco said...

bros, some of these names are priceless.

we had some girl with a horse face who we would just call by whatever horse we could think of. Big Brown, Barbaro, Seabiscuit all worked. I don't think i ever learned he real name.

Tyler said...

Ha, I like that. My bro's old gf would always bring this nasty chick around with her when she came over. We called her Brickface, since she looked like she got hit in the face with a brick. haha She started bringing another friend and so then Brickface jr. caught on. Gotta love bein a bro

Anonymous said...

Has anyone every heard the term "side pipes"? No sure what this is. Didn't want to ask my older bro, just laughed like i knew.

Help?

Anonymous said...

i was reading the comments from a while above and i came to a comment about a bras big ass theighs. this reminded me of this one girl who me and my bros would call "Lewis" as in Ray Lewis because her legs were so fucking big. through the years she has also been named "troll" and "the night train"

Anonymous said...

We had a few...

3rd trimester - chick w/ a beer gut looked like she was pregnant

Skeletor / Raptor - sickly skinny and had short midget arms... people would screech like a raptor whenever she walked in

Stump and Stump part2 - looked like a stump

Anonymous said...

There are 2:

A girl got so drunk at a party that she not only puked but shit all over the couch. She will be known as the "Party Pooper" for eternity.

Also we nicknamed a girl "Shrek" because she looked like shrek.

Bros rule

Christopher said...

sometimes giving a girl a nickname which has nothing to do with anything can be very bro as well. calling her this nickname to her face is very bro too.

There was a bitch dubbed Scary Mary by friends of mine at another university. Was her name Mary, you ask? Nope. Was she ugly or something? Pretty much, but not too ugly. Nothing 35 beers couldn't spruce up. Why was she named Scary Mary? Nobody knows, and nobody really fucking cares.

Basically, she was just a dumb whore that liked to get banged and degraded. It would be late at night, maybe banging a bitch hadn't worked out, so inevitably someone would say, "fuck it, just call Scary Mary".

I met her roughly a dozen times over the years in school when visiting, and never ever learned her name was actually Lindsey, until she complained to one of my friends, "why does he always call me Scary Mary?"

Fuck her, the dumb bitch could claim her name is Lindsey all she wants, but it will always be Scary Mary.

"Why do you always call me Scary Mary? My name is Lindsey"

"Uh, fuck you slut. I know your name. Your name is Scary Mary"

Dumb bitch.

Anonymous said...

We nicknamed this girl Cheeeeeeeeese because my bro said his first impression of her was that she must smell like cheese.

Also, the twin towers because these bras look like fucking skyscrapers. The bigger they come, the harder they fall bros.

Anonymous said...

being the bros we are and not caring about bras, we call all bras swamps

Adrian BROdy said...

every group of bro's has got their equivalent of what my boys and i have... the bro with the hot sister who gets absolutely smashed and hooks up with anything that walks. luckily for us this slampiece happens to be named susan. giving her the nickname boozin susan was the only logical next move. calling her boozin to her face ellicits some more hilarious ends to very ridiculous and broey nights.

Anonymous said...

one of the best that comes to mind is biggie smalls, cause she had one big titty and one small titty

Joe Brogan said...

This one time me and four of my bros just got done broing out in the pool. We were discussing how fuckin sick the prior night of ripping shots were at this huge party. We get finished eating Cluck-U and commenced ranking 45 different bras on a scale of how hot they were. One of my favorite bro sessions ever and im gunna tell you why. Cause it was an all-day bro session of getting a solid tan, talkin about a party, and indiscriminately insulting women. Did we care if they would get offended? Hell no cause i'd give the first 20 the shark fin.

Anonymous said...

my bro brought over a girl to our dorm party last year (we were such bros we threw ragers in our dorm and didnt give a fuck). She had a extremely large and curved nose, and had frizzy hair. At first she was 'the witch' then the 'flamingo'. One of my other bros now refer to the bro that brought her as 'the zookeeper'

Anonymous said...

Grasshopper: jumped from bro to bro

Pumpkin head: self explanatory

Spongebob: same as juicebox..square body

Baraka: from mortal combat

Moley: she was moley

Anonymous said...

We had a chick from college that we called Vietnam...because it looked like the Vietnam War happened on her face.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, love this shit. Best nickname below.

Sam "Cassell": This bro's girl looked identical to Sam Cassell

bleulayette23 said...

Damn, I'm a girl but let me tell you guys that this is too fucking hilarious!!! I love it!

Anonymous said...

We use to call this girl Neanderthal in college because she lacked a bridge in her nose. it was like the evolutionary gap passed her by. she of course loved it.

Savage said...

I had this one bra that was a stage 5 clinger, which was not the bros nickname for her, but my fucking family. She had really big nipples, and when I brought it up with one of my friends, the bra goes, "you mean big areolas?" Forever she will be "Big A" to a group of bros of mine...

fez said...

this chick i went to high school with had the hugest forehead, and thus not only earned herself the nickname fivehead, as previously mentioned, but we also called her "control tower". whenever she was eating, walking, basically doing anything, me and my bros would be commenting in the background like "control tower to hand: pick up fork" and on it goes

Anonymous said...

We called this Bra #99 Special. Cause that was the italian beef and sausage combo from our favorite late night spot and her Vag looked like some seriously nasty italian beef.

Alex BROvechkin said...

We had Selacious Crum, because she looked exactly like Jabba the Hutt's little sidekick. Then later that year there was sinquello ("no neck" in spanish). Her head sat directly on top of her shoulders. Literally no neck.

brosb4hoes said...

IM THINKING aRBys.
me and my bros and even my closest bras ask each other b4 we go out...you thinkin arbys (rbs) tonight?? The R reffering to random and B reffering to bithces,bitties,babes etc...and for the bras its boners, boys, and whatnot(ye my bra friends are sluts which is why i hang out with them and dont fuck them, they actually help me get laid) it is also fun to say this to your fellow bro wen u are standing right behind the RB in question...they have no fuckin idea wut u mean, and think your just fucking hungry..yea your hungry..FOR SOME FUCKIN FRESH PANTIE PIE

Bronie Madoff said...

I'm only in high school but this site is sick and I'm proud to that I'm an aspiring bro. Anyways a couple of months ago we had this huge party and about 4 bros including myself ran train on what we all deemed to be the hottest slam piece there. The next afternoon we all came to a conclusion and we gave her the nickname "Bruce." why? You might ask. Bruce as in Bruce Lee because her pussy was kickin'! She still has no idea! Bros are the fucking shit.

Also should this site cover strip clubs, 3 some or trains, and getting drunk on air planes.

Louis said...

My Buddy Hooked up with this really sexy chick. She brought him back to her room where the unthinkable happened.. he went to go down her pants and get things started.. before anything could go down my buddy's hand ran into a bush as thick as Paul Bunyan's Beard. Within an instant My buddy went from Naked on the top bunk to out the door with out saying a word.... So rightfully so we named her "Bush"

Anonymous said...

There's this ugly bra who is in a sorority and within the first two weeks of school she had already sniped 4 bros in my fraternity at parties.We gave her the nickname Krazy Kari because it was so crazy easy to hook up with this slut. Her sorority president actually told her she couldn't come here anymore because it makes their sorority 'look bad'. What a fuckin bro hater.

Big Pimpin said...

I just nickname sluts "1's" or "0'S"...1 means you would fuck, 0 means you wouldn't. It doesn't matter if you're completely smashed or sober. If you're wasted and you still would hit it, then she's a 1. It cuts out all the bullshit and you can talk about it right in front of the skanks without them having a clue. Fucking great.

Anonymous said...

My bro banged a bra who had an amazing body, but her eyes made her look retarded, so we called her Downs all the time and slurred our speech when she was around...
also, I have banged a few asian bras who have all been affectionately known as smashface.

Brocrates said...

beef curtains, the mole, and lafawnda have to be my faves from back in the day...

Anonymous said...

In highschool and now in college me and my bros call the ugliest girl in a group of a friends the DURFF, which stands for Dumb Ugly Retarded Fat Friend. Every group of girls has this one so we always make sure she knows shes the DURFF of the group

Anonymous said...

theres a girl in our school that has a rep for blowing two bros at once, so we call her the double-header. we call her cum-bucket also but i dont think thats as creative

Otis Allan GlazeBRO said...

there was a girl in college us bros knew from a lame sorority. we would let her hang out for entertainment. she was short, plump, and would always be the drunkest girl so she would always be on the ground rolling around. needless to say we dubbed her "Butterball". She never caught on even after thanksgiving was over with.....

Hank said...

Well I've had my fair share of nicknamed bras...

Bruiser - Well I woke up black and blue, with teeth and claw marks. I vividly remember punching her (in a "loving" way).

Booger - Mid-shower I pull back from sucking her face to find a snot rocket strung on her face... not only did this happen once, but twice.

Anonymous said...

T2. From Table 2... referring to the hot girls at lab table #2 in a science class.

Anonymous said...

haha these nicknames are fucking great, I could sit here all day reading these comments. But anyways, there was this nasty slut that used to come to our parties and one night she got really hammered and proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere, we gave her the nickname "the faucet" because it literally looked like she was a faucet and someone turned the water on high. She obviously no longer comes to our parties.

Anonymous said...

i knew these 3 bras with the last names elliot, girvin, and garret. we combined them into gurvariott cuz they were dykes.

Anonymous said...

There's this slut at my school who goes around our fraternity parties secretly grabbing bros' dicks. The best part about it is she has been seriously dating this bro we cut during rush. Obviously we had to give her a nickname so we could talk shit on her even in her presence. Codename: The Bone Collector.

Anonymous said...

Got 3for you bros:

1) we used to call this bitch 'stoneface', at her suggestion we played a game that involved 4 of us sitting at a table while 'stoneface' went underthe table and started to give some dome, the point of the game was to keep a straight face if you were getting the dome, while the other bros had to figure out who was gettin bopped... Hence the nickname for this cum dumpster... Stoneface

2) we used to call this chick who never put out: ' the icebox'... Degrading... And a little giants reference. Enough said.

3) while there were countless slam pieces that have been passed around the chapter over the years only one can be referred to as THE Slam Pig, and by god was she the raunchiest cum guzzling farm animal we ever laid eyes on...

Keep it bro

Anonymous said...

bro's. always a fan of the nickname "Plan D." she got that name due to the fact even though bro's never strike out getting slam pieces in the sack, sometimes there are cold streaks. if slampiece's A - C dont work out, hit up plan D. its a sure thing.

hokie said...

Monkey bitch had big ears

Five Head, obv reason. after one of my fellow bros pointing it out I decided the only way to continue with this incredibly hot slam piece was doggy style... problem: the huge mirror i had as a headboard.

Poop pants: after a night of slamming beers with the bros, i brought two slam pieces back to the hot tub for some tag team time with one of my fellow bros. following copious amounts of booze and unprotected switch-a-roos one of slam pieces "borrowed" and pair of my shorts to sleep in...after the morning sesh, to which she wore the shorts, i sent her ass packin'. couple days later I was looking for some clean clothes to wear to the gym... picked up the shorts and noticed a weird colored stain on the outside... did the smell test to see if they were clean. they were not, it was poop.

Bryan said...

We used to call this fat asian chick Safari because she looked like a fucking Rhino. Dont think she ever figured it out either.

The Brotorious BIG said...

Alright so me and a few of my bros decided to take this concept to the next level. Obviously we were fucking pounding chow at the local McDonalds when a fucking lightbulb went off in my head, a classification system for slam pieces. Naturally we were inspired by the menu of delicacies hanging from the ceiling, and so it was made. The dollar menu represents a collection of heffers and slump busters that contaminate the bottom of the system. While your average slam piece would be a snack wrap, for obvious snacking purposes whenever there's a craving. The numbered menu is home to the slam pieces worth bragging about, and with the addition of a meal the slam piece is a definite multiple victim of the bro. Fucking genious right, then again we are bros.

Anonymous said...

Here are a few me and some of my bros have come up with in the past

Sailor Poon - brought on by a very slutty halloween costume, which was appropriate.
The Bone & The Butt Bone - Two unrelated girls with the last name Carbone...I'm sure you can figure out the rest.
Legs -Girl never wore pants, but it was all good cus she had the nicest legs I have ever seen and often wore Daisy Dukes
Maternity ward - Her favorite pass time was fucking virgins so it was decided that eventually she would run out of virgins to fuck and have to wait in the maternity ward for fresh ones.
Russian Mail Order Bride - Don't really have an explanation for this one...
Mickey - Big tits and really wide hips made her mid-section literally look like the shape of Mickey Mouse's head
Pancakes - Not gunna lie....she smelled like fuckin pancakes.
Pepperoni Nipples - Her nipples were both the size and (close to the) color of pepperoni slices
The Uniboober - One fake tit, one real one. No lies.

Anonymous said...

1. There was this one bra in college who, like Manbeast, had to have balls at one point in her life. But she was a raging coke head, definitely had an eating disorder, and would get on any bro trying to pull ass that night. She looked like a cross between Marge Simpson and a teradactyl, so we called her The Dragon. I realize this isn't the bro-est of nicknames, but any bro who decided to treat her as a slampiece automatically became the Dragon Slayer - a pretty bro name.

2. One of my bro's ex-bras killed it for us whenever she walked into our local watering hole. All sluts walked away from us when they saw her because they knew she was just going to cause a scene and freak the fuck out on him for no apparent reason other than he was just trying to be a bro. So, nicely done, one of my bro's called her The Rattlesnake. She just strangeled any potential of bro-fun everywhere she went.

This website makes me so fucking stoked to be born a bro.

Billy said...

My ex is a bit of a user bitch, and so when I talk about her with my fellow bros we always use two nicknames that were created when I had a drunken fit at her and divulged some rather intimate details. The first is Hockey Chin because despite her slammin bod her jaw line looks like one you would find on some 300lb Canadian goalie. We also call her Salted Pork because one of the intimate details was that when I ate her out it tasted like... well salted pork.

Michael said...

There used to be this deliciously fine slut who used to go to the gym every day, only wear spandex, and only do squats--thousands of them. she was simply, "spandex girl."

Bros Don't Click Links said...

as much as i enjoy throwing empty beer bottles at battle pigs, nothing is as enjoyable as the name tagged for one of my bro's bottom bitches.

her name was Admitting Defeat.

"i admitted defeat last night"

there you have it, bros.

Anonymous said...

One of my bros was dating this asian chick who walked really funny. She didn't bend her knees or elbows when she walked. She also looked like a dude because of her asian body so he nicknamed her "Steve Frumpus."

Bros are the shit.

Postgrad said...

I'm a girl but this shit is funny!

We have our nicknames too. One guy who my sorority sister hooked up with regularly fucked like a jackrabbit. He became known to us as jackrabbit ever after and figured it out one day. Unfortunately he thought we were calling him 'jackhammer' and switched his facebook name to that. I still don't know if he's aware that its an INSULT and the reason why he never hooked up with any more of my sorority sisters...

SWL5 said...

One of my bros used to bang a chick that we dubbed the mattress, just because she was nothing more than a slam piece and he was on top of her a lot. She had a roommate that was always tagging along that we used to call the box spring. My bro eventually knocked up the mattress and after not too much coaxing got her an abortion. Then we just talked about how the mattress had her stuffing removed.

bromigo said...

Theres a girl from school we call the billiken because she shares a striking resemblance with the st. louis university mascot http://www.sportslogos.net/images/logos/34/822/full/2606.gif

Anonymous said...

one of my bros was with this bra and my bros and i decided she looked like a super mario character and her fat cousin followed her around all the time so they were forever known as Bowser and the Goomba. needless to say, everytime they entered the room, someone played the super mario theme song

The Bra-ssassin said...

My bros and I (as any good story begins)knew this one bitty by the name of Martina who lived in the apartment next to us. Slam piece worhty. After we all got to know her(...and then some more people got to know her...and then some more..)we all found the common denominator between all of our visits to bonetown with Martina: Squirter-and it didnt take long either. As we came to this conclusion, the opening scene to Goodfellas was on and the director name came up "Martin Scorcese"
Made an adjustment here and there and voila you got Martina Squirts-easy.

Carpe Noche my Bros

The Bra-ssassin said...

Also...

The Brick - Flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.

Bags - One of my bros actually put a bag over her head

10 Year-Old-Boy - Similar to Skeletor

The WDV (Witch Dr. Victim)- Huge girl, tiny head

Baby Giraffe - Lanky broads

Anonymous said...

One slam piece my bors and i hit sucked horrbily in bed. we started calling her starfish....she never caught on.

Anonymous said...

We had this one bra man could she handle the sausage, but her face was straight horror, thus she was the shitfaced cockmaster.

Anonymous said...

In HS there used to be one girl who looked like she just beat "Eric Badlands Booker" in Nathan's annual hotdog eating championship at coney island. Due to her overwhelming size, often accentuated by the fact that she wore tights to school, she earned the nickname Deuce Mafia as she was in the 200 pound club. It is uncertain whether or not Deuce Mob can handle the sausage, as no man was ever brave enough to go spelunking in her presumably cavernous snatch.

Anonymous said...

Girls with enormous areolas shall be referred to as

"Peps"

Since their nipples look like massive pepperoni

Anonymous said...

There was a girl in highschool that got really drunk and puked in her own hair. to this day 4 years later she is still called "Goober" and her younger sister is now referred to as "Mini Goobs"

Anonymous said...

my bro was tryin to ride this one bra up the marmite motorway a couple of years ago but he had no lube. he looked to his left, saw some shampoo..so he used it. she has been called bubbles ever since.

Broman Hammerlick said...

saurkraut, knob goblin, gym girl, flannel, doo doo brown, meat chops, freshman slut, the list goes on

Brobi Wan Kenobi said...

there was this little whore at my old high school, who before coming to school, already had a bad rep. somehow a video of her masturbating with a washable marker had made its way around the school. Her name was graye, so she became known as "grayola". (crayola is a marker brand).

also, at my college, there's this absolute trainwreck whose last name is wolf, she preys on blackout guys. I think she was up to seventeen or so after the first two weeks, including blowing some guy on the dancefloor of a frat. she's absolutely foul, she's known as the she-wolf, or just the wolf, and all her victims have become members of the "wolfpack".

then we had this other bra who was pale and ugly as fuck, though she thought she was hot shit (i hate girls like that). she became known as Casper the Ugly Ghost, and then Cassfro, after one of my bros had the misfortune of finding out after a hard night of boozing and bad decisions that there was a jungle between her legs

broanoke said...

There is this one Bra who has a pretty good body, but has a weird chin. so we started calling he Crimson Chin. That thing could have stored mad gadgets.

Anonymous said...

bros, on the topic of CRLs (charging rhino legs), an appropriate synonym can be 'Thunder thighs', which may only be used if an NHL announcer voice is utilized to accentuate the enormity of her thighs. Also, girls with cellulitis? simply called 'nickels', because it looks like someone beat the shit out of their legs with a bag of nickels. i suppose 'Jefferson' or any other coin term could be used, do with it as you will and post results

Anonymous said...

Had a bitch hanging around our fraternity a lot back when I was in undergrad... slamming body and a pretty face, but god damn the bitch could talk. Never, ever, ever shut the fuck up. Anyways, she acquired the nickname Awam (acronym for Ass With A Mouth). Now, we'd let bitches on the beerpong table occasionally (like when most of the Bros had 40s taped to their hands), and every time she'd make a shot, everyone would scream AWAM!!! Having no clue what it meant, she started yelling it herself every time she made a shot. Fucking priceless.

Anonymous said...

me and my bros were getting fucked up playing flip cup when apparently in my black out state i started talking to a chick with some acne on her chin...from there on out we started calling her acnebeard for the rest of the night. Pretty sure she went home and cried.

Anonymous said...

In high school there was this girl that grew hair all over her body we called her tear gas because everytime we saw her we would cry.

Anonymous said...

In college there was this girl Rosie who would come around and she loved to take it in butt. We appropriately named her roe roe the anal hoe and rear-end rosie. Uhh thank you.

Anonymous said...

In college we had names for girls like ice pick (face looked like someone took an icepick to it), cum dumpster, ringworm, house, war-hammer (been known to bring the hammer down during a handjob), shit-box (left a floater during a party),

Anonymous said...

So this one bra from our slutty sister school decided to blow me one night, and due to circumstances beyond my control, I didn't finish (don't worry, i finshed when she came back for seconds the next night). Well the next morning I woke up and was taking my usual long ass hangover piss when I found a piece of gum stuck on my balls. This bitch left her fucking Dubblemint on my sack. Well needless to say she was dubbed Gumball chick and is still to this day unaware why everyone offers her gum at our parties.

Anonymous said...

There was this bra at my institution who i was slamin hard. She had a vish ass body and was an overall dime piece. Her tits were her greatest assets so we gave her the nickname BTB. Big tittie bitch. enough said

The Jerky Bros said...

This wretched slam piece at my school banged one of my bros in my fraternity. Apparently when she was blowing him, she went a little lower for the full-on salad toss. She was henceforth known as poopy-mouth for the next three years of college.

Anonymous said...

back in high school. there was this slut named Katrina.
she was like 6 feet tall and boned. but not fat.
We called her Hurricane because she went through different men and she was a big girl and hurricane katrina

National Brolympic Qualifier said...

So I was dating this girl and for a while she had this friend whose name is irrelevant: for all intensive purposes we called the slampiece "Home Plate" ... because her face literally resembled the middle of the batter's box.

Definitely one of those "from-behind-while-blacked-out" type of slampieces.

Anonymous said...

So my bro's were trying to encourage me to tear up some ugly slam piece. One of my bro's suggested I "paperbag that shit" so I wouldn't have to deal with her shitty face. My answer was that you'd need to "bodybag that shit," the nickname bodybag has stuck ever since.

ellvee said...

first of all "bros" the post got me laughing it's true certain people get nicknames, but c'mon do you really think no female in this world is fuckin pulling out nicknames on ur hideous face? u "bros" aren't perfect either with ur croaked dicks, premature ejaculation, small dicks, pimpled faces, chicken legs, bad breath, hairy backs, like seriously gross sometimes.. but hey life isn't perfect and u can't pick ur looks from a magazine.

nyway just to join on the ranks -- i knew a girl who was tan like middle eastern tan who was known as roast beef -- enough said.

Anonymous said...

I got a Couple

"The Gobbler": partly because her neck resembled that of a turkey, partly because she loved to gobble cock

BAM: Partly because from a distance she looked good by as she got closer and saw her face it was like "BAM!" your hideous...and because while i had sex with her head made a "BAM" noise as it hit the back of my headboard

SmokeHouse Turkey: some really hot turkish girl who lived in the bro dorm

finally "Katie Cunt" formally known as "Katie Clunt": simply put... bro hater and a cunt

franklin delanore brosavelt said...

This hideous bitch really wanted to get stuffed by one of my bros. So every time he tried to spit game at another slam piece she would fucking come out of nowhere and cock block him by telling the slam piece about other bitches hes fucked. Her real names emily but she will always be known as the gargoyle.

Anonymous said...

she is wider than she is tall
her face looks like a baboons asshole
her voice is deeper than mine

her nick name comes from a certain lord of the rings character: GIMILI

Anonymous said...

One time me and my bros were at a Basketball game and this bra was sitting in front of us would stand up on her seat and not only did she have a great ass but she was wearing spandex. Every time she stood up the 8 rows behind her would just stare at her ass.

Basketball spandex girl

Anonymous said...

beat captain of the equestrian team: Sea biscuit

girl with F's who got with way too many:
big tits bigger slut

Anonymous said...

like you, we also know a bra with rediculous facial hair. she is now known as schick..quatro

Brotopia said...

went to high school with a girl we called dk. bra looked eerily like the big gorilla himself. got a lot of shit for that one...

we also associated with one female friend me and my bros dubbed "Class A Lowell" after the red sox minor league team, cuz she would have been a potential major league achievement if her tits werent so goddam small

worked at a camp where all the bros called this dumb slut "crazy bitch". she deserved very little respect and now we call her variations of crazy/stupid/slutty/dumb followed by ho/bitch/skank. to her face

Anonymous said...

i slammed this shit hammered chick one night that had the same facial features as ET, the extra terrestrial. instead of spittin verbal roofies to this bitch i took the bro route. i called over some friends to my bro pad and put on a low budget showing of the movie ET. the cast comprised of myself, Elliot, and the hideous bra, ET. It started out suddle, and ended with this bitch in my Laundry basket wearing my blanket like a burka screaming "PHONE HOME, PHONE HOME".
she never caught on and now im know as the bro who pounded ET.

Matt said...

Jabba the Thunder Thighs. this chick was huge.

Anonymous said...

bra's last name was mailman. we called her karl malone

patc2g said...

we once hung out with this fat chick who wore a demin jacket one night with an american flag stiched on the back, so her nickname to this day, is "fat america." not too creative, but definitely gets the job done, and achieves the desired chuckle every time.

steve said...

snaggletooth, little miss piggy, A-train, fat tits, dinoface...just to name a few

Anonymous said...

Lunch meat

Anonymous said...

jenn the body

Tim Tebro said...

Me and my bros called this fucking whore "Tupperware" because she was always picking up other slam piece's leftovers (fucking their ex's)

Milo of Broton said...

Cyclops... bitches eyes were so goddamn close to one another.

Frying pan... flat fuckin face

Vampire... bitch left me a goddamn hickie the size of a fuckin tennis ball, didnt even feel it. i blame my tequila more than her though

Zombie... bit clean through one of my bros lower lip. im all for rough sex but christ, thats a showstopper

diseased fucking whore... her last name is dikman, so it seemed too easy. oh, and shes a diseased fucking whore.

baguette... got eiffel towered

beluga... bitch broke a chair

thats all i can think of. im gonna be on the lookout for a walrus though, fuckin great nickname

STLbro said...

One of my bros had this ugly girl friend who had a face like a toad. We all refer to her as "toad face" or tf when she is around. She never knows what we are talking about. good shit.

Anonymous said...

im sitting acrossed the room my bros and i call doorknob because everyone gets a turn.. her bestfriend is cake because everyone gets a piece and its easy as shit to get some referring to the saying piece of cake. thats my favorite two ways to look at that one.

Anonymous said...

NKD... not a nickname for a girl but an act. No Kiss Dick when u fuck a slut without having to kiss her, makes for great chants. legit move bros

Anonymous said...

I am a personal fan of WUBA...Woman Used By All

BRObie Trice said...

Gimp Arm or Reach Around... chick had one arm shorter than the other.

Baby Hands... she had tiny hands, makes your cock look gigantic when she holds it, though.

Mangled Llama... this chick was just so fucking ugly.

Moley... we've all met one of these.

Pig-Pen... self-explanatory.

Cruella de Vil... bitch inherently resembled the infamous 101 Dalmatians villain, then she goes and dresses like a 'flapper' for Halloween. What an idiot.

Bros are the shit.

Anonymous said...

I once told a bra she looked like a Holocaust survivor because she was so skinny. The bra was very offended. I calmly responded, "at least you survived"

Anonymous said...

Me and my friends named these bras from a different school SAT's (sexually active teen) because any time we wanted to bust it we would always call up the sats and no one but us knew what we were talking about.

Anonymous said...

We used to call this chick Brickface because it looked like she got hit in the face with a brick.

Chris said...

Theres this one heinous bitch that always comes up to our parties and she has the nastiest beard of acne that my bros and I have ever seen. So now we call her chinstrap, she hasn't got a clue.

Anonymous said...

Was on a trip with some bros and the place we were at was filled with tons of young honeybabies. So we met these two sisters that were in their low 30s. Considering most of the girls on the trip were 20 - 23 years old we considered these two sisters old bitches. My bros and I were wasted when we met them out at the club and none of us could remember their names. Since they technically weren't cougars yet they were appropriately nicknamed OB1 (old bitch 1) and OB2 (old bitch 2).

canderson said...

dude we have a few girls.... we have this one bitch who we call "grendell" from beowulf. this other ginger girl who is fucking jacked and trys to get with drunk bros is "big red" or "clifford". finally this bitch with a pretty big nose we call "tucan sam"

Anonymous said...

there is this smoking hot girl, and is in a wheel chair so naturally she was dubbed the name "hot wheels"

Bro Montana said...

I was bangin a slam piece last night. Drunk as fuck (on a Tuesday), I had no clue what was going on. Needless to say, I woke up the next morning, hungover as balls and realized there was a blood stain in my bed. Surely this bra wasn't on her peeriod right? Not even close. I went to the bathroom to piss and noticed that I had bite marks and purple bruises all over my upper body (which is perfect.) Fuck. I turned around to look at why my back was so sore and, double fuck... I had scabs from wher this bitch scratched me. Unfortunately for me, this bra had enormous teeth. So, me and my bros refer to her as "Chompers," "the Mole," and "Krueger."

Anonymous said...

this is one of the most degrading, fucking disgusting, repulsive sites i have EVER been on!

...and possibly the funniest.

Broran Suton said...

Girl in hs sucked off a chaldo and was a little clumsy with the teeth...got called the cheese grater. Came to college, and homegirl bakes her squished up face with makeup, goes by miss piggy now.

Bro Clam said...

We were having one hell of a graffitti kegger at one of our better party houses which is obviously going to bring out nearly every good looking slam piece on campus. My frat and the wrestling team have always had a history of throwing parties together so for the most part we are all bro's, but we needed to be able to seal the deal. So we found this one slam piece passed out in the basement of the house and about 15 bros and 15 wrestlers all took a solid piss on her. Thanks to "Golden Showers"(her obvious new name) I know the guys on the wrsetling team are truly bros.

Broskee said...

There is a girl at our school that plays lacrosse and is a beast. My roommate and I appropriately gave her the nickname DeezLax. Deez for diesel as fuck and lax for lacrosse

Jo Bro said...

This one night, i played the drums on some bras tits...from then on me and my bros have known her as "bongo tits"

D said...

This one ex slam piece from freshman yr got nicknamed "Quazi motto" cuz her would always squint up when she came, or when ever she took pictures

Tiger's Wood said...

My roommate once banged a chick that looked like Goro from mortal combat. Yes, the 4 armed freak villain that you would have to fight before the evil boss.

Anonymous said...

you should totally write a blog about that one cool as bra that always gets to hang with the bros...

Anonymous said...

O-ring. all day every day to her face

johnnybrostar said...

god, the nicknames we have come up with..umm...
'nat's tats @ heinz.ca' was the nickname given to a girl i was with who's big squishy 'tats' felt like ketchup in a bag.
..the bi-polar destroyer...another girl, sweet one minute, but totally crazy the next..(being when i tried ignoring her till she went away..she got angry.)
..and 'salty confrontation'...this being any chick who get angry when you try to ignore her after a ONS.

Anonymous said...

the best one i've ever been a part of was this one fat sorority bitch who used to come over to our house with her slam piece sorority bitch friends...we started calling her "elephant arms" because of her massive fucking guns that dwarfed all of the bros' arms combined...we originally shortened it to just "arms" but then decided "elephant" was better, then just "phant" or "phanty" before it came down to "the phantom" and ultimately "the phantom menace" which is by far the best bro name for a fat fucking bitch i've ever heard in my fucking sick as bro-life

Anonymous said...

Wow .... I am a female speakin for every gurl out there that feels the i do .... This shytt is fuckedd up .... How would all yu guys feel if the gurls startedd talkin shytt about yu guys tellin all yur busyy .... Thinkk twice about wat yu say cuz in the future yu will probalyy regrett it ....

Bronan the Brobarian said...

Im talkin: Pig Tits, Clown Vag, and HIV Rocket....all classics

Anonymous said...

The Dean (the head master)

Quentin TarantinBRO said...

hey anonymous, why don't you write "shytt" on your own site then you stupid fucking whore? nobody wants you here and nobody asked you to read it!

anyways, this girl in high school got around alot and supposedly gave the best head (of course later found out this was true)...which is why she is now a fluffer. but we used to call her double d double s for dirt devil super sucker....

also me and my bros have always referred to bras by different golf clubs depending on what distance they looked good (putters where dimepieces, 9 irons were ok, woods needed to be 300 yards away, etc.)

then theres always trinary code.
0 - never fuck, 1 - you'd fuck when your wasted, and 2 - you'd fuck even if you were sober

Anonymous said...

Lot of great nicknames we had for the girls we knew. Forehead teeth, because her forehead was big and her teeth were long. Cameltoe is self-explanatory. We had a bro who we used to call jabba the hut for certain reasons. We nicknamed his girl jar-jar binx, because of the star wars relationship and the fact she always liked to move in on our smoke sesh's. When she would come around we would say (in jar jar binx voice) meeeeessaaaa smoke-aaaa for freeeee-saaaa. Blue cheese quesadilla was the girl with the yeast infection. Bitter beer face hated it when we called it to her face. I guess there's nothing like pointing out the obvious to make a girl feel good about herself

Anonymous said...

There is a bra many of my friends have slammed, and we all call her slampig, or slammy. Her nose also slightly resembles that of a pig haha

TurBRO DurBRO said...

Two nicknames from Spring Break at PCB.

Steak Fries - fucking camel toe on this chick looked like two steak fries. Dip that shit in ketchup.

Apple Pie - fatty one of the bros hooked up with. Figured she ate a lot of apple pie to get that big. Damn girl, put down the fucking fork and go run.

Bros fucking love giving dumb sluts nicknames.

Dikembe MutomBro said...

this one bottom-feeding slut at my school's last name was barr. her permiscuous cock frenzy habits earned her the title of Open Barr. put a few cheap shots in her, and you'd win a complimentary open barr after closing time. she was sloppy, about a 3.2 out of 10 on a good day, had the IQ of mayonnaise, and of course was always down to get stuffed like ron dayne on the goaline.

Anonymous said...

Alright here we go:

Moneybags - Only good to hang out with because she'd pay for everything. Also the only decent thing on her were her tits.

Sloth - Looked like Sloth's offspring (from The Goonies). She moved at the pace of a sloth, so this one could go either way.

Night Rider - One of my good friends was an easy lay, but usually only would put out at night. Who knows.

To Constantinople - This one guy only could last for about two minutes in bed, and his "o" face made him look as if he were constipated, hence Constantinople, later shortened to Cont.

Golden Girls - This group of chicks used to stalk our group of friends religiously, all while gossiping, being naggy as shit, and usually they would act like they were in some kind of knitting circle.

iBro said...

giving girls nicknames and talking shit about them in their face is what i live for

bro hard and bro often

J Brovah said...

We have a girl who comes around from time to time. IDK if any of the boys have slammed her yet, but more than a few have received handy-dandy's from this girl. She has a boy-friend on the hockey team, so that makes her slutty behaviors that much more rewarding for all of my bro's. None the less she has a nick name that has nothing to do with her constant triffaling acts.

She has braces, and we all call her Metal Gear Solid.

LCpl Brosenheimer said...

This is my first time on the site, heard about it from a fellow bro. This shit is hillarious. My favorite nickname was for this bra who we called "Out to lunch" because god gave her the perfect body but when it was time for her face, he went out to lunch. we also called her joaquin phoenix because of her cleft lip

Anonymous said...

This one girl we used to call the Kraken, in reference to clash of the titans and pirates of the carribean, that narly creature that ate john deepth.

Mainly she was a pretty smoking bra, but she was such a sloppyfestival since she slept with so many people that we all predicted that her snatch must have been so foul and gangely.

Best part about it was that everyweekend she was with someone new and itd be like updates on who the kraken has consumed next and man once a bro got with her it seriously was like the death of your hook up life for some time.

Oh the kraken....

Anonymous said...

Doug the head, then shortened to Doug after the character in Snatch. Chick had a gigantic forehead.

DeBeers: Vag was so tight it could form a diamond

Cave: Contrast to DeBeers, needed a Miner's light to get in there and leave a bread crumb trail to get back out.

Boston Whaler: My Bro motor boated this bra's jugs. Hence Boston Whaler.

Anonymous said...

Everytime this one bra drank too much she would loose her ability to speak and just start moaning

Thus gaining the name Moaning Myrtle

Anonymous said...

we had this chick in my calc class that had a bill and ted shirt.... since she was fuckin 6'3 all legs we called her wild stallion

Anonymous said...

There was a girl with a great body but a face that literally looked like a man's face so we gave her "dude face" and we called "dude face" to her "dude face"

Broce Lee said...

self evident reasons make
"Fur Burger"
a great bra nickname when applicable

Smosh Bear said...

i knew this bra that gave a bro a blumpkin, nickanme: "poop slut"
not only is it very fitting but incredibly entertaining to say

Anonymous said...

And now....."Widespread Pan-face"

Those Bros in the know, will know. No?

Anonymous said...

We had a slut whod try to get into parties by inserting her hand into whoever was working the door's pants and grippin his jimmy. Thus we always let her in and call her by the name "cock grabber"

Anonymous said...

There was one chick in college that one of my best bros porked regularly for a couple of months. She went tanning way too much and her skin kinda stretched out over her face in a wierd way. Kinda looked like some new born babies do when they're first born. So we called her "fetus face."

Disgraced 18 said...

There way this one girl that wore too much make up, for a good reason, but every bro knew how much make up she wore, you could tell by the massive amount of black shit around her eyes on a over-powdered white face to hide the stretchy cigy reptilian looking skin underneath it. In the process of taking her down, everyone knew what the morning held once that makeup was gone and her 26 yr old face now turned into something you'd see when nearing menopause.

1) Cat Eyes
2) Skeletor

or simply:

3) "Dude, you know what her face will look like in the morning, dont you?"

and if this was recent, she would be known as:

Cougar Town

Guppie said...

I knew this b who always got drunk to the point where she couldn't walk at partys and her ass crack would be hanging out of her pants(It was Gross) So we called her Slop-a-dop-a-los

Anonymous said...

I had a one night slam with this slam piece but the bra just kept sticking her tongue way down my throat. the next morning I told my bro about it and we dubbed her "the lizard".

Anonymous said...

We called the one nasty fat girl from tridelt the octodelt. the best part was, she knew it

Anonymous said...

I knew this one chick in high school and she fainted in class and fell on her face, breaking her tooth. From then on we called her snaggletooth. priceless.

Breezy said...

Got a bra at our school who's had this awful scar on her lip for years... we started calling her Al Pacino (from "Scarface") and it later got shortened to just Al...she still has no idea what it means..Another one thats a huuuuuge skank...we call her jerome, for jerome bettis (aka "The Bus")

Anonymous said...

4 me n my bros, we discovered 2 broads wit the exact same name. in order to distinguish we came up wit 2 different nicknames. for bra #1 we established that her body type was that ov an over-sized home appliance, so we went wit "the fridge". bra #2 earned the nickname "shark attack" because ov her underwater capabilities and her predator instincts wen she got around a pool. some claim 2 hav seen her devouring fatter asian kids because they hav trouble swimming away

also as far as nicknames go, ne member ov the buffalo bills defensiv unit works

Bro Slab said...

Me and my bros would always see 2 bras from the volleyball team walking around campus, each at least six feet tall, so just named them Dos Gigantes. Never spoken, always shouted, usually along with RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Chuck Norris said...

So there was this one bra that would come around the frat house, she had some birth defect where she had no forearm bones. So we called her T-Rex because her arms were so short. We bet one of my bros that he wouldn't slam it, he did. Forever after his room was known as the Bone Yard.

Anonymous said...

LMFAO

Napoleon Bronaparte said...

There was a girl back in high school that wore those little gym shorts that girls wear and it said "CHEER" on the ass so every time she stood up we all went nuts. she had no idea.

naBROlean Dine-on-a-dike said...

sophmore year my bro lost his v card to a senior who was a legit 10..long thick legs fat ass flat stomach DDs and a no gag reflex...well woulda been a 10 cept for a slight odor problem. from that day out she was forever known simply as "cheese." say she was bitching at me in class Id calmly start sniffing the air with a grotesque face. then turn to my bro and ask loudly, "man you eatin cheetos or sumthin? im gettin a nasty stench of CHEESE around here." goddamn idk how many times we sent that bitch sobbing out the room

Anonymous said...

There's this bra who's completely bangin in most aspects, but has no ass whatsoever. Biggest disappointment of the century. So I gave her a nickname, and now my bros know exactly who I'm talking about when they hear me refer to the famous Butterbutt.

Anonymous said...

this isnt exactly a nick name but girls with nice bit tits are usually reffered to as being very smart. damn that girls smart

Anonymous said...

we stayed away from looks, but focused on sex acts instead...much more utilitarian...two nicknames come to mind...we tossed around this one girl for about a year...she universally preferred one entry point...we called her pooper...easy, simple you know what your gonna get...its nice having all the information...this other girl preferred multiples...she earned the name double take...this was great because she thought we were referring to her looks...it kept here cumming around...good stuff here...bros unite

TheGreatFakeLake said...

GMC

Because she could fit a gmc in her bat cave and had giant meet curtains. It was like tryin to smash a super burrito at del taco.

UbrOU

Hudbro said...

one slam piece in high school we called swine flu or swiner cuz she looked like a goddamn pig.

Anonymous said...

There's this really ugly girl from our high school. She has horrible T to G - Tooth to Gum ratio. Anyways we refer to her as Smarty Jones - the race horse - because of he gross horse teeth.

Anonymous said...

We had a slampiece in college, first week of school she got plowed out by my bro, and the condom came off inside her. She worked her way through the house in the proceeding 4 years, to this day, no one remembers her by any other name than "rubbermaid"

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