Tuesday, July 14, 2009

#48 Throwing Up

It’s a Saturday afternoon. You and three of your bros are sitting around watching TV but there isn’t shit on. “We could hit up some #6 Beer Pong?” Normally everyone would go for that because bros fucking love beer pong, but you held down the table for like 5 hours last night so you don’t really feel like playing. That’s when it hits you. Case Race. You go pick up two cases and draw names out of a hat to pick teams. Fuck. The #37 DOFF is on the other team. You have your work cut out for you. Things get started and you are absolutely crushing beers but predictably the endless garbage disposal of a stomach on the other team is taking care of business. Its time to start shotgunning to catch up. You slam two in a row and all of the sudden you are tied, but you need to keep pace. Two more down the drain – only this time things don’t go so smoothly. The minute the lukewarm Natty Light ran down your throat you knew this would be trouble. You stand there motionless and completely mute. Your teammate is yelling at you to “get your fucking head in the game!” But it’s too late. Here it comes. Just like that 10 beers and a 7-11 Chili-topped Big Bite are all over your living room rug. You are disappointed, but that’s when the slow clap begins from your bros. Be proud. You fucking booted.

Bros fucking love throwing up. I know, I know, I originally said in #21 Bros Only Vacation that throwing up is a bitch move, but I thought long and hard about this very serious topic and I changed my mind. I thought of all the bros I have ever known and tried to think if there was even one who I had never witnessed throwing up from drinking. There are none. That’s because puking is a fucking bro move. Sure there are fucking haters out there who will call bros that puke “bulimic sorority girls,” “chemo patients,” or my personal favorite “that little slut from The Sixth Sense,” but fuck them. You know they’ve gotten nice on some puking in the past. There are only two words that can describe drinking so much that your body is literally poisoned. Fucking Awesome. Yeah, it’s true, sometimes puking can cause a night abortion – but nine times out of ten, you will rally. This is perhaps the greatest thing about puking. Not only do you feel better, but all of the sudden you can drink a shit load more. This will seriously help you to get more bro cred.

There is a fine line a bro has to walk when it comes to throwing up. You DO NOT under any circumstances want to be the guy who throws up every time he drinks. This does not make you a bro; this makes you a bitch. However, a well-timed and directed puke can provide some legitimate bro points. Let me explain. It is of the utmost importance to puke towards the beginning of the night/day. This way the next day when bros ask you how your night went you can tell them, “Holy shit man it was out of control, I actually booted at like 3:30 and then fucking drank for 12 more hours!” Much like bros love #36 peeing in places that aren’t toilets, bros love puking is crazy places. For example, this past weekend I puked on a girl at a bar. Most people would be horrified by this action and seriously consider stopping drinking altogether. Most people aren’t bros. I’m proud as shit. Other places that bros might puke which would get some major bro cred include backseats of cabs, pretty much anywhere that someone poorer than you has to clean it up, or most impressively: on their slampiece.

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

bro, this site kicks ass and its the bible to me, but to re-nig on a prior claim that puking is a bitch move then to later say that it's legit is some GDI shit. Step your game up for the good of bro-kind

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Believe me bro, I know I deserve the backlash. This kind of unexcusable fuckup will not happen again. But when it comes down to it, its a fact. Bros fucking love throwing up.

Anonymous said...

I stand by the earlier post puking is a bitch move. I real bro would just Black the fuck out not get sick. Only excuse would be 21st birthday when it saves your life.

Next post should be blacking out.

Anonymous said...

My fraternity had a formal date party one night. Long story short I threw up on my date while we were fooling around in my bed. Not only did she wash my sheets, but she stayed the night still. I win.

Luke the Duke said...

I am on the fence. It is a fine line.

Example you are pounding brews and shots, and you turn to the side barf, turn right back to drinking without missing a beat. = Bro

Bitch move is running to the bathroom like a girl.

Puke and get on with more drinking.

Cross said...

My bro Frank was talking to me at a Bachelor Party once. He stopped the conversation to puke in a flower pot and then he took a swig of beer followed by the words "Puke and Rally". He scored many bro points that night.

Anonymous said...

Throwing up in order to increase your drinking ability, regardless of time or place, is and always has been a go to move of any seasoned bro.

Throwing up because you're "too fucked up" means you probably wear armani exchange.

Anonymous said...

Back in college my bros and I were taking a frat-wagon (schoolbus) home from a formal one night. Formals undoubtably always mean free booze which therefore leads to free grinding with whomever, because everyone is blacked out. LSS - my bro was out the window in the front of the bus and due to physics, showering the back of the wagon with a healthy stomach full of half chewed pigs in a blanket (instant bro-cred). The next day, the bro-haters were giving him shit about the the leftovers on their clothes; however, the bros were giving him cred because his slampiece kept pulling him in to play a little tonsil between heaves. Bros are the shit.

Anonymous said...

the summer after my freshman year of college i went to a high school party with my bro at the beach and i threw up in some girls gas grill. this wasnt some piece of shit grill you get with your friends at home depot in college. This was a big ticket item, stainless steel and shit. anyway, i went outside to do a boot and rally and i was pissed because some lame bra just spilled jungle juice on my sweet pink brooks bros golf shirt so i decided to boot in the grill. chances are no one discovered what i had done for several hours, if not days. in a related bro moment i woke up the next morning and realized i was never going to see these random high school sluts again so before everyone else woke up i stole a huge jug of change they had in their kitchen. got over 150 bucks at coin star because of these dumb sluts.

Mike said...

Stealing is the shit; especially from people you are never going to see again. Instant brocred right there. You actually remind me of a story back from when I was in college.
One time, I was down at the beach for a weekend with my bros. Long story short, our DOFF ended up hooking up (69ing) with a slampiece in the middle of the room when everyone else was passed out around them. Well everyone else but me. However, after I closed my eyes and waited for the sound of slurping to finally end, my bro was not finished. When they went out for a smoke on the balcony afterwards, my bro went back to this chick's purse and took $50 bucks from it. He said it was his fee for hooking up with her. Our DOFF used to be awesome.

Ned's Youngest Brother said...

what a bro

http://sports.espn.go.com/wnba/news/story?id=4327908

ucsaebeer said...

good boot story... our bro was standing at the bar on spring break in acapulco someone hands him a warm shot of cheap mexican tequila... takes it, because he's got balls... and proceeds to boot all over himself and this huge dude next to him. kid spent 48 dollars at the bar's gift shop buying the dude a new shirt so he wouldn't get his ass kicked and all he could afford for himself was some stupid fucking tank top, which he wore proudly and drank furiously until the joint closed at 5 am.

Luke's younger brother said...

doing something to not get your ass kicked = brohater
Bro= booting on the dude, buy a double shot and continue to drink. If He says shit politely remind him that you are rolling deep and to shut the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

i was in vegas a few months ago. heavy day drinking lead to peeing, which led to me puking in a urinal. the next day there was an out of order cone and yellow tape over the urinal. They took me for a couple hundred, I cost them more in repairs.

Bro in Chicago said...

Puking to make room for more drinking is the shit. Stealing from bras is the fucking shit. A bro of mine earned some serious bro-cred when he fucked some slut in her dorm and stole $50 out of her purse when he snuck out in the morning. The same bro has also stolen a NuvaRing right out of some slut's snatch and fucked three different sluts in one afternoon.

NorthJerzeyBro said...

The infamous Yuke n Rally is one of the greatest party feats performed by bro's. Some girls look down upon it but there are always a few girls still drunk enough to shack up with you. I feel proud when a bro pukes and wants to keep going, and even more proud when it's myself. It's nothing to be ashamed of at all, but something that should be encouraged and celebrated.

Anonymous said...

Puking is fine as long as you don't do it all the time, don't do it after having only like 3 or 4 beers, and don't do it during the pregaming.

Staunchly Right, Heavily Starched said...

not to brag or insinuate that my bro-cred places me upon the upper reaches of mount brolympus, but it totally does. before i left for a semester abroad in australia, which i was doing my last semester in college instead of graduating, we had an all day drinking fest at the Taj Brohal, my bro pad. I left halfway through to bone my random slam piece, left her house and yakked on the way to my ex's house where i gave her the bro-bone. headed back to the bro pad and continued to booze all day. to ice this broverbial bro cake i stole my roommate's gf's portable dvd player before i left to ensure i travelled in luxury. bros are the shit.

the Brofessor said...

gotta use the scream-vomit when puking outside. obviously acceptable because bros rally after letting everyone know they had to clear room for more brews.

Mario Bropez said...

First of all there is a fine line for when throwing up becomes a bitch move. . . if you drink to much and get car sick - Bitch move(unless you are driving). If you drink to much and you throw up because you ate too much also.. Bitch move (unless you ate 10 flat liners from buffalo wing factor.. thats worth some serious bro cred). The only time throwing up with out drinking at least 30 drinks or more is not a bitch move is when it is for the comic relief of your bros. For instance, I was once in the bathroom of a local Mcdonalds on my way to party with a couple slampieces. Me and my bros pregamed for 4 hours and had to stop to piss and get some double cheeseburgers. We were in the bathroom and after I peed all over the wall next to the urinal, I then pulled the trigger and threw up all over the mirror of the bathroom, my bros loved this shit. They carried me out of the bathroom chanting "BRO KING" Best night of my fucking life

OH-iBRo said...

as a bro i have thrown up before to make room for more brews. no shame in that

Anonymous said...

Well let's see last week I was pregaming at my apartment watching it's always sunny before I hit the local bar. When I decided to go for some drinking and driving and then some off BROading in my Jeep bc drinking and off BROading is a total bro move and the shit.So anyways as I'm leaving the trail I'm on my 11th BROsky and it hits me as I pull into this neighborhood to finish the 12er.I'm about to boot cuz I've only been drinking for like an hour and I'm almost to num 12 so what do i do pull over? FUCK NO!!! I open my door and just start puking when I hear somebody start yelling I'm like what the fuck it's like 11 o clock and some asshole aka brohater is walking his fucking dog in the middle of the road aka the opposite side and I almost hit him so I just keep driving as he memorizes my plate cuz I don't give a shit.Then I realize I gotta drive back past him so I finish my 11th right after booting chug the 12th.Then this idea hits me so I piss in the bottle and as I'm driving back past him i chuck the bottle at him it explodes everywhere. Needless to say it was badass as shit.I love being a bro

Anonymous said...

ok bros just wondering but would i get bro cred for rippin ass in a chicks face?

Anonymous said...

Personal favorite is the walk and puke. Projectile vomit while in motion and keep walking like nothng ever happened. If anyone asks you just say fuck off and keep walking

Anonymous said...

One time me some bros were rippin up this party. We were slammin back the Bud and nailin the vodka mixes. Anyway, we were gettin ready to roll out to another fucking huge party, so on the way out to the car, me and one other bro go to the side of the house to take a piss. Im pissin on the house, and he does the same farther towards the back. Then I have the opportunity to witness some fucking epic bodily fluid discharge. My bro was letting his stream flow and then leans over and pukes at the same time! Needless to say I was jacked. Bodily fluids and laughter everywhere! We then went to the other party and continued drinking untill we passed out. In the right context puking is fucking awesome!

Anonymous said...

I was once 15 minutes into a game of tour de franzia (two man teams race to finish a box) when my teammate turned to me and said "start chugging I think a team inside is beating us" (they weren't even close to beating us but we had never played them before and had been distracted by talking to some bras while we were competing). I proceed to chug and then I feel the hot-mouth starting. I stop drinking for about 15 minutes before my teammate tells me to finish my drink. I get about half a drink down before i proceed to puke all over my favorite polo while sitting down at the patio table. The bras freaked out (I will admit the throw-up was pretty violent). I hosed myself off and went inside and talked shit to remaining teams (throwing up disqualifies you in our tour de) since it the winning team another 45 minutes to finish their box.

Anonymous said...

I once booted everything possible thing in my stomach and within 30 seconds of finishing i was crushing a slam piece. This got ugly when my ex started yelling, "You know he was just throwing up." fucking bro-hating bitches

Anonymous said...

just woke up after throwing up all over myself and bed last night, instantly came to this night to validate what i did...thanks bros

UMN Bro said...

I puke very rarely, but the puke that established me as a true Bro King was when I tossed it all up out the car door as I was driving drunk. Not only was I drunk as hell, but I was also cruising down the street and throwing up out the door at the same time!
Another epic puking story comes from one of my bros, who is also a Bro King, who puked on top of a girls head as she was giving him head. It doesn't get more bro than that.

Anonymous said...

A bad ass way to throw up is to have a slam piece bring you more to drink as you are puking

Anonymous said...

one of my best bro moments was when I was slaying a babe and mid thrust i knew i was done for, so i got up went to her bathroom and projectiled my insides all over her toliet and floor, i then casually rinsed my mouth out and went back to finish what i had started.

Anonymous said...

it should be rallying, not throwing up, if you puke and stop your a bitch, if you rally your a bro. This past New Years i started at 5 then, already drunk as shit decided at around 10 to play ruski (a game my bros and i invented, its full cup pong, which is 15 beers since dixie cups are 1.5 beers, and you get a minute to finish your beer after a make otherwise you lose your turn and are a bitch), i ended up puking on my 4th cup, then right after sunk the last cup to win it, then continued drinking

Anonymous said...

For all you bros that love drinking until you puke check out this site that has some epic pictures of bros booting during inappropriate times

www.epicboots.com

Anonymous said...

A couple years back, after drinking for a few hours with some sluts, we headed to a burger king. Some bros ordered burgers as I went to take a leak. Mid-stream, I felt a tingling sensation in my throat. I headed over to a stall. Got there and blew junks everywhere but the bowl. Washed up, walked out, and told the bros we should get going. I didn't have any gum, and we weren't about to stop to get some so I grabbed a beer to wash down the taste. Hooked up with a slam piece later. She was at BK with us

Anonymous said...

Bros of the world-the other night i was fucked up and completely blacked out as usual, clearly had a slampiece ready to get wild. So we go in my bro's room at the fraternity house and close the door to take some shots and get wild. After a couple of soco shots i puked all over myself, she proceeded to grab the towl, wipe off my mouth, clean my crotch up where all the puke was, the make out with me followed by a bj. talk about a puke and rally.

Anonymous said...

earned the nickname puke and rally in college due to some well timed booting and boozing. For a while i'd wear a hat to parties so that in case i puked i could flip the hat into a rally cap and let all my bros know that i was ready to party.

Anonymous said...

One time I was on a road trip over to my bro's college to engage in some weekend chay-n-slay. I get there, settle in for 5 minutes, then immediately break out the bacardi and start pregaming. 9 shots deep we roll out to some slut my bro was banging's birthday party. It was lame as shit, so I run the pong table for an hour and pound another 5 beers on the side, and then head to the kitchen for a shotgun race. My bro and I kill ours in 4 seconds, and then a random bro-hater only gets halfway through his before he stops and complains about the quality of beer. It's PBR, of course its horse shit, suck it up. I rip the can out of his hand, chug the remaining contents, look at my bro and say "fuck this party, let's hit the bars." I turn, puke all over this bitches nice rug, then walk out of the room. 3 seconds later, I hear this slam piece yell "Who puked all over my rug?!?!" At this point we leave, both pick up bitches at the rival campus from the bar, and forced another broad to scrub the rug for the remaining of the party. win.

Anonymous said...

I know the batboy for the Chicago White Sox and one night he took us over to Bobby Jenks house... he got us all retarded drunk out of our minds and I ended up puking in a garbage bag in his basement off of cheap tequila. Needless to say it just cleared more room in my stomach and I continued on with natty and shots.

Oh and my bro drove home blacked out and neither of us remember driving home. We earned a shitload of bropoints that night

Anonymous said...

So the other day me and my high school bros had our prom. It was fucking crazy my bro had a whole weed brownie and ended up puking all over his date, her best friend, some slut, his bro, and his date. It was the craziest mixture of drunken anger and the urge to puke because of the smell. He is now one of the most hated bros at our school and still has more bro points then me.

Anonymous said...

On spring break in PC after a hell of night I capped it with a crowner, 3 beers in a six foot bong, i released the nozzle on the way down the pressure hit my throat and I threw up into the hose but kept chugging, got it down in under 10 not even a drop to spare. You might say its disgusting but so is wasting 3 beers it was a proud moment

CoBro said...

dude intentionally threw up on an off duty cop and his daughter..

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5098407

Anonymous said...

throwing up is only acceptable if u are able to go out and crush more beers. those people who throw up and then pass out are not true bros.

Anonymous said...

me and a few of my bros a few weeks ago drank a handle of vodka and ate hella mexican food free. then we started walking and me and my bro were running around throwing up on peoples lawns and walkways and porches. then in the same night another of my bros started throwing up all over his slam pieces friends. a great night.

Anonymous said...

last summer, me and some of my bros from back home went to a penny pitcher night at a bar we've been going to since we were in fucking high school. Place is a shithole, I mean...even the truest of bros could not survive a round of tramp stamp drinking game in this place. And enough ed hardy and hairgel to make a guido vom. but thats not the point. so we're knocking back pitchers like its our fucking job, with a stack of empty pitchers in the center of our table so tall you couldn't see over it, waitresses were refusing to serve us, to the point where we have to send our bras to the bar for pitchers, anyway...so i see one of my bros i hadn't seen in years with a whole gang of slam pieces and we start talking, and i can feel myself getting sick...but am i going to sit down or 'go get some fresh air'? yeah fucking right. i'm a bro. so in mid conversation, i grab a pitcher off our table and left those slut waitresses about half a pitcher of my dinner. fuckin sluts. and we didn't tip em. and if you think throwing up in front of those slam pieces kept me from sealing the deal, you're fuckin crazy. bros rule.

Visanthe ShianceBro said...

Summer after my Junior year of college I had an internship where I had to travel all over the country, anyways, the company was stupid enough to give me a corporate credit card to pay for food, hotels and other random shit. Well one night I went out and got shit faced in Nashville and after being invited to some sweet sorority party and nailing some soristitute, i woke up at 630 and realized that i had a meeting at 8 and needed to get back to my hotel. So i jumped in a cab and started heading for the hotel, half way there i started to feel shitty (we were up drinking until 4) and I puked all over the back seat of the cab, after trying to blame it on the foreigners shitty driving, i finally agreed to pay the 75 dollar fine....with my corporate credit. God bless Corporate Credits and Bros.

Brostradamus said...

Puking in your mouth and swallowing it is bro as hell

-brostradamus

Anonymous said...

Alright, epic bro moment.
So last semester my school started to realize that greek life is literally all about drinking so they tried implementing this new thing called greek week at our school during the spring semester. It consists of various events and day long shit that you have to have a certain amount of your chapter there for in order to maintain accredidation. So basically this week sucks the dick but hey were bros so of course we can make even the lamest situation fucking awesome. So this particular story comes from the Wednesday of greek week where at 7pm we were supposed to have to go to a speaker at the schools auditorium about underage drinking and how bad it is. Yea right you know my bros and i arent going to this shit sober. So of course we had been day drinking since roughly 11am that day cause i mean who goes to class when theres drinking to be done. So after a few hours of slaming brews my bro and i decided that if we had to sit through this speaker we need to be like blacked-out status so of course we break out the "GRAIN". We have our own special concoction called blackout sauce so we whiped that up right quick and started slamming it hard for about an hour or two. Next thing i remember was waking up sitting in the auditorium listening to this lame ass speaker and suddenly feeling like shit. I tried to get up but didnt quite make it and ended up throwing up all over the rival fraternity sitting in front us. Not only did this cause the biggest scene in the history of my school's greek life but of course i just said fuck it and walked out of the building and like a true bro i walked back to the house cracked a cold one and started to post/pre-game for the night to come. Best bro-moment of my life!!!

Anonymous said...

Smiley Puke - trying to hold the biggest smile on your face while puking

Anonymous said...

one night me and some of my bros were drinkin at thier bropad when i decided that it was my fuckin mission of the night to cash a case on my own cuz clearly im a fuckin bro. 23 beers deep im in the middle of playing beer pong when right before my shot i lean over his balcony and yak right after i chug the rest of my beer and sink last cup. Not only did i finish the case but i still got fuckin laid

God i love being a bro

E-Bro G said...

Good timing for this post. My bro roomate was just booting his face off while me and another bro were casually talking about last night and all the slammers at our bro-tastic party like nothin was strange. I convinced him to take a shot to help him out, and that got him some bro cred

Jesus's Dad, Broseph said...

I pull the trigger all the time. Really empties the stomach and allows for maximum broness for the remainder of the night. I actually spit up blood for a little while after the last few times. What am I supposed to do though, go to a doctor? Fuck that, he'll just tell me to stop drinking, or even worse, drink less. Blasphemous though it may be, I'd rather not drink on a Saturday night than "drink socially." Monitoring your drinking, and by that I mean drinking less than 10 drinks in an hour, is for fucking bro haters. Blacking out is the shit, and I will never give that shit up.

Christopher Brolumbus said...

Back in college I was banging this total slut who happened to have hella-big titties and loved to bang. She also loved to get fucked up and at one point me and my bros were taking shots at the bar and she thought she would join. Not only did she throw up at the bar, she continued to drink like a true bro. Unbelievable? Maybe. Awesome at the time? Totally

Anonymous said...

beginning of this fall term I moved into my appt a few days early just to go on a bender with my bros. One night after getting fucked up off 4 Lokos and Natty. We go called out by a couple bro-haters (aka Cops) for yelling at people walking by and throwing glass off my 2nd floor balcony onto the street. So rather than dealing with them, we peaced outta my place and rolled into a frat house down the road. Of course, this wasnt our frat and the bra/bro ratio was way off, so we decided to just fuck shit up. We fucked up one kids room, literally breaking everything. Fuckin loser though he could tell us we werent allowed to go up stairs - dont tell me what to do herb. Then, some kid pulled out a bottle of Absinthe he brought back from his term abroad last spring. He offered kid shots - fuckin took that shit outta his hand and put it vertical. About 2 minutes later, me and my bros were talkin trash lettin these fools know their house sucked but well take their booze any day when I let loose... fuckin tryin for a bathroom or a bag (this wasnt my house) just leaned over a bit so I didnt hit my Topsiders and puked up everything. Fuck them. We were than kicked out, but fuck that, we already killed their alch supply and there were no chicks so we were peacing anyways.. bros love 1) gettin smashed on 4 Loko 2) Breakin shit 3) yellin at random ppl 4) breakin more shit 5) stealing shit - especially alch 6) puking 7) gettin kicked out of places

Anonymous said...

To that fucking pussy that said blacking out is better, fuck you. i wanna fucking drink more so i can remember my bro point worth fall down the stairs

Ali G as BROrat... Sexytime said...

puking in hotel lobbys or old folks homes (90% of old people are bro haters, but occassionally u meet a seasoned bro veteran) on the way back from the bar ensures some underpaid maid that works 20 hours a day and cant speak any english will be assigned the task of mopping up ur awesomeness. the best is puking in the bar, getting thrown out and still being able to sneak out an open beer in ur shirt sleeve and downing it infront of a fleet of juice monkey bouncers...

Anonymous said...

Bro, one time i threw a fuckin huge party at my place back in high school and there was this private school slam piece that was pretty much my sex slave. she would text me and say "what are you doin today?" and i of course would reply "Come over cause im gonna take you to poundtown". but anyways, naturally she showed up to my party and towards the end of the night (about 5:00 am) she said im gonna leave and i told her no your not, go upstairs and get naked in my bed, she abliged. after my bros and i got done playin poker on the pong table, i went upstairs and started to slay this slampiece, when i started to finish i felt the unmistakable urge to fuckin throw up. so i just let it fly while i finished. then put my gym shorts on and walked downstairs and watched its always sunny in philadelphia.

Ilaxitwiththebros said...

So I was in england with my family and my friend. We were sitting in our apartment bored as fuck, having stopped watching tv because the english version of football is for faggots. We looked in the freezer and found a handle of smirnoff and a handle of gin. We each took a 12 oz redbull poured it into a glass followed by 12 oz of gin. Downing that we drank a glass of vodka. My family dragged us out to dinner, on the walk there we were pretending we were pirates, and at the restraunt, I went to the bathroom puked into the sink, went back to the bar drank a pint and then sat down with the fam. My mom told me to eat, and i told her i wasnt hungry. She made me eat some french fries and moments later I turned and puked all over this 25 year old womans nice gold shoes. I promtly left with my bro went back to the apt. waking up I was still drunk and got on the airplane, but not before stoping at the club for free drinks.

Anonymous said...

so i was at my bros house and i was pounding back some beers and then we gotta go. kinda lame but besides the point i step outside his house and here comes the hurl right onto the bush outside his house.so far not that impressive but when i finish puking on this bush a rabbit runs out with puke on its back. i puked on a rabbit.

Anonymous said...

Ill never forget the time spring semester of Freshamn year I woke up drunk as shit one friday morning barely in time for my 9 am class a night after blackout drinking with the bros. As I stumbled to class and sat down I started to feel it. As the class progressed I got worse and worse until I got up and literally sprinted out of the room to the bathroom and proceeded to blow chunks all over this one stall. Felt better, went back in and took my seat. Stumbled out of class around 10:30 am still drunk but with a mean hangover. Turns out this was the day that all these fucking parents with their high school seniors thinking about or planning to come to my college next year were walking around on tours and shit. As I was walking past a large group I felt the need to blow chunks again so I stepped off the sidewalk and proceeded to puke on the grass right in front of this shitty tour group. I then started walking back to my dorm like nothing had fucking happened.

Bros Rule

The BROfessor said...

You're not drinking unless you're puking.

Junior Bro said...

At a DUFF's high school jam last weekend and was blacking out on couch. The DUFF gets on her knees and asks me if I'm alright: projectile vomited all over her face and down her cleavage. Ran outside with the bros chanting. Fucking all star right here

Anonymous said...

i can honestly say that from age 20-22 i blacked out 5x a week and didn't throw up once. if that ain't bro, i don't know what is...

Anonymous said...

At a Metal concert in San Diego me and my bro who'd just turned 21 were straight killen shots of whiskey back to back. After about 8 deep my bro in all of his infinite wisdom decides it would be glorious to shotgun a 24oz can of bud light. So there I am shotguning this fucking 24oz bitch of a beer. I knew on any other day I could handle this shit but I knew damn well what was about to happen.

My bro turned around to watch the stage as he was pounding the rest of his beer like a true fuck'n hard ass just as I proceeded to projectile vomit in to the trash can.

Made 100% of that shit straight in to that fucker from 3 feet away. My bro was so distracted by the glorious fuck'n metal that was being shred on stage he didn't even notice so I played that shit off and ordered another round of shots!! Continued drinking until the concert was over and some where walking through down town San Diego I blacked the fuck out! Now that's some bro ass shit.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Copyright 2010 Bros Like This Site LLC