Everyone remembers that day. For most bros they were nothing but bros in training, possibly in high school but for true bros it took place in middle school. One of your fellow bros in training invited you over after school to "play" although this time - there would be no rematch in Madden '98. He invites you to come out to the woods to see something. At first you are hesitant because this seems very familiar to every story you’ve heard of children getting murdered, but you’re not a fucking bitch so you follow him. Once you get far enough to where you can't be spotted by bro-hating adults, he pulls out the wadded up piece of paper. "What the fuck is that," you ask. "It's a fucking joint man, we're going to get high a shit!" This is it. You're entire life you've been told about the evils of drugs and promised your parents you would never do them, but come on, this is one of your best bros! Even more so than any doctor, bros always know what is best for other bros. After he sparks that shit, he passes it to you. Nervously you eye the evil drugs burning inside the paper. Just before the cloud of smoke hits your lungs, you mutter under your breath, "Well, I guess this is the end of the road for us, Crime Dog McGruff." Just like that - you've entered the dark side. Welcome to the world of marijuana. Training wheels are off - you are now a bro.
Bros fucking love weed. Much like #23 drinking and driving, bros love the fact that smoking is illegal. This makes them rebels - and slam pieces fucking love that shit. Even though it is illegal, any bro will argue with you for hours about how it should be legalized. Never challenge a bro to a debate about smoking weed. You will lose, most likely because they will be so fucked up that they will start a personal attack on you. Bros know everything there is to know about weed, however there is a distinct difference between weed smoking bros and hippie potheads. Hippie potheads are not bros. Hippie potheads care about bullshit like the environment and the feelings of others. They also smoke weed to "experience #57 nature" or "enhance music." Fuck that shit. Bros smoke weed for one reason and one reason alone: to get fucked up. The only thing that smoking weed enhances for bros is their stories about how fucked up they were the night before. Being able to add to the end of your story that you came home and "smoked like 3 bowls after drinking for 10 hours straight" gives you a fuckload of bro points. Additional bro points are awarded if you don't even remember smoking up. Here's a couple more ways in which weed can earn you some serious bro cred.
Where You Got It – Yeah, sure it’s cool to have that guy on your dorm hall that sells eighths is cool and all, but having "connections in the city" is fucking bro as shit. This makes you look hard, not to mention everyone knows you get the best bud from hardcore drug dealers. If you don't actually have these connections, just tell people you do. They'll believe that shit. Fucking idiots. Another solid way of getting your shit includes #2 stealing it. If you can honestly say you got high off of your Grandmother's glaucoma medication, you might have what it takes to be a bro king.
How You've Smoked It - I think we all know that bros are the smartest people alive. So, it should be no surprise that as long as there is weed there is a way. Bros love telling fellow bros the ways they’ve smoked weed. Anyone can smoke out of a bong or a one-hitter, but a true bro ups the ante. Fruit such as apples and pineapples make great bongs, but why stop there? Get creative. Just fucking dig through your neighbor’s garbage to make that pipe. Smoking out of bongs made from “useless trash” such as Gerber baby food jars or your neighbor’s Emphysema respirator is an amazing way to earn instant bro cred.
Weed is the shit.