Wednesday, September 9, 2009

#70 Weed

Everyone remembers that day. For most bros they were nothing but bros in training, possibly in high school but for true bros it took place in middle school. One of your fellow bros in training invited you over after school to "play" although this time - there would be no rematch in Madden '98. He invites you to come out to the woods to see something. At first you are hesitant because this seems very familiar to every story you’ve heard of children getting murdered, but you’re not a fucking bitch so you follow him. Once you get far enough to where you can't be spotted by bro-hating adults, he pulls out the wadded up piece of paper. "What the fuck is that," you ask. "It's a fucking joint man, we're going to get high a shit!" This is it. You're entire life you've been told about the evils of drugs and promised your parents you would never do them, but come on, this is one of your best bros! Even more so than any doctor, bros always know what is best for other bros. After he sparks that shit, he passes it to you. Nervously you eye the evil drugs burning inside the paper. Just before the cloud of smoke hits your lungs, you mutter under your breath, "Well, I guess this is the end of the road for us, Crime Dog McGruff." Just like that - you've entered the dark side. Welcome to the world of marijuana. Training wheels are off - you are now a bro.

Bros fucking love weed. Much like #23 drinking and driving, bros love the fact that smoking is illegal. This makes them rebels - and slam pieces fucking love that shit. Even though it is illegal, any bro will argue with you for hours about how it should be legalized. Never challenge a bro to a debate about smoking weed. You will lose, most likely because they will be so fucked up that they will start a personal attack on you. Bros know everything there is to know about weed, however there is a distinct difference between weed smoking bros and hippie potheads. Hippie potheads are not bros. Hippie potheads care about bullshit like the environment and the feelings of others. They also smoke weed to "experience #57 nature" or "enhance music." Fuck that shit. Bros smoke weed for one reason and one reason alone: to get fucked up. The only thing that smoking weed enhances for bros is their stories about how fucked up they were the night before. Being able to add to the end of your story that you came home and "smoked like 3 bowls after drinking for 10 hours straight" gives you a fuckload of bro points. Additional bro points are awarded if you don't even remember smoking up. Here's a couple more ways in which weed can earn you some serious bro cred.

Where You Got It – Yeah, sure it’s cool to have that guy on your dorm hall that sells eighths is cool and all, but having "connections in the city" is fucking bro as shit. This makes you look hard, not to mention everyone knows you get the best bud from hardcore drug dealers. If you don't actually have these connections, just tell people you do. They'll believe that shit. Fucking idiots. Another solid way of getting your shit includes #2 stealing it. If you can honestly say you got high off of your Grandmother's glaucoma medication, you might have what it takes to be a bro king.

How You've Smoked It - I think we all know that bros are the smartest people alive. So, it should be no surprise that as long as there is weed there is a way. Bros love telling fellow bros the ways they’ve smoked weed. Anyone can smoke out of a bong or a one-hitter, but a true bro ups the ante. Fruit such as apples and pineapples make great bongs, but why stop there? Get creative. Just fucking dig through your neighbor’s garbage to make that pipe. Smoking out of bongs made from “useless trash” such as Gerber baby food jars or your neighbor’s Emphysema respirator is an amazing way to earn instant bro cred.

Weed is the shit.

105 comments:

Rick BROtino said...

HAHAHAHA Finally NYB!Thank you for speaking my gospel. Ive been called many different nick names through college, "E Dank" "Edub" "Dr. Feel Good" to name a few and known to only smoke the best! Im talking phoenix suns bud that looks like someone dipped it in crystals. Weed is just amazing plain and simple. theres no debate about this one. Weed makes everything better! I would have a joint already rolled up and next to my alarm clock so when i wake up, i spark that shit to start the day, smoke before you eat, smoke before class, sex, driving, partying, basically all the time. Ive rolled and perfected the cross Blunt ( cause a cross joint is lame, try rollin a quad into a cross blunt and make it burn perfectly... ) an Oz in a snoop dogg blunt for 3 people haha that was fun. my god the stories are endless. you need to write a post about 420!!! Another method of getting reaaallllllllyyyy fucked up is called the "Quadrangle"
1.Line of brocaine
2.Fatty bong rip
3.Line of zanex
4.Shotgun a beer, then blow smoke out

thats all and good luck with the rest of your night!

INSV!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dude that shit is weak. Gotta do it with a lipper in. True bros always have a bomb in no questions asked.

Rick BROtino said...

Oh im sorry Mr. Anonymous... i didnt realize that wasnt being bro enough for you. You are the real bro. Why dont you get a name (like real bros do, instead of pussy Anonymous ) and give the quadrangle a try you broser and stop hatin bra. throw in a mouth piece if ur a champ cause single lippers are for the gays

Bron Paul said...

LEGALLIZE IT!!!

Anonymous said...

getting so excited about a post about weed is cool not a fucking occasion Brotino your a fucking drugy bro wanna be not a bro my friend

Leanbro Barbrosa said...

digging through someone's trash to find something to put your mouth on is questionable at best

BROnonymous said...

I LOVE ALL BROS I'M A KING BRO OMG

Broberry Kush said...

Brononymous - That just made you a bitch.

As for every one else, I've been toking on the good green for 8 years. That's not long you may say, but I'm only 19. So considering I've been taking fat bongs rips since you were running around in middle school grabbing tits that will one day become big fake titties, I'd consider it to be pretty damn sweet.

NYB - You forgot two ways to earn serious bro points that's above where you got it and how you smoked it... How dank that shit is and how much you got. Let's be real, who would you give more bro points to - someone with a gram of mids or an O of some dank Sour Diesel? One of your best posts yet!

Rick BROtino said...

Yo Anonymous get a name you fucking jock strap. I aint no druggy and certainly aint no wanna be. You sound like a mormon thats never smoked before and a serious hater to me... Excuse me for smokin some weed mr perfect, i work hard and get good grades while enjoying life. So does that make all the other bro's here druggys too?

BROberry Kush, I completely agree with you man, but watch out! We are druggys haha

there can only be one BROlander said...

no brotino, you are just a faggot

Peanut Brotter said...

Holy shit- just found out about this site from some bros at work.

Bros do love weed. Maybe some bros, like me, can't love weed as much as they used to because of work, but all bros do it love it.

I disagree with saying slam pieces dig it. Slam pieces I know hate it, and I lie and say I hate it too, then slam them.

Back in college we once built a bong so big that we could only pull it around using a trailer, that could only be pulled by a Ford F250. We had to buy the trailer and the truck because of the huge bong we built. It was still the greatest idea ever.

We once took a road trip from Broklahoma State all the way to Vegas & smoked weed the entire way there. I shit you not. The whole car was oozing with bro-kamania, which is like Hulkamania, but with bros, not Hulk Hogan. My bros always use that term, so I had to fit it in somehow. Anyways, we were high as shit in Vegas. We immediately started pounding beers when we got there too! I don't remember what happened at all, but because I don't remember, I'm sure it was awesome.

Bros love weeeeeeed!

Bro Paterno aka BroPa said...

my roommates and i turned so many things into bowls and bongs. i hit my salt shaker bowl literally 15 seconds ago. this site is sick. and the t-shirts are incredibro.

Brocaine said...

Brotino..getting wild with the "quadrangle" sounds bro, but I like to move faster than xanax allows me to so I stick to regular rizzos; bro-ng rip, bro-line, followed by shotgun. Similar to walking on water.

O and ananymous; how about I fly you out of gainsville so I can see you do a "quadrangle" with a dip in hahaha....please don't call me a druggy too, that would hurt my feelings.

Bro-Bo Cop (the original) said...

smoking weed with a lipper in is childish, a real bro takes a beer bong with a dip in. thats what seperates the men from the bro's

Anonymous said...

Packin fat lips is the shit.

Lex said...

Is there some sort of system to record and compare the best bros via the accumulation of their bro points and bro cred? I would think the competitive juices from this sort of competition would be in the spirit of bros, but I could be wrong.

Brobe Yon Kanobe said...

'Anonymous' is probably a virgin. Also anyone notice the most bro hater of all ads right below this post?

8===D ( )-: <---anonymous

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure doing lines of xanax doesn't make you a bro, maybe a zombie, but not a bro

Bro-Bo Cop (the original) said...

Lex I like the idea. But bro's are always blacked out. Which could cause a problem when it comes to scorekeeping... That means bro's would have to bring along a sober friend. That will never happen because bros don't roll deep with bra's

Bro-Bro Cop (the original) said...

Real bros smoke weed AND chug beers as they dip. At the same time, slam pieces tell them dipping is gross, they make the slam pieces shut up, then they stab slam piece pussy with hard weiners all night. thats the life of a bro.

Brodacious said...

A really sweet GrafX or glass bong is one of a bro's most prized possessions. We used to do what we called "staircase wombats" which involved 3 bros (one to smoke, two to help administer), 5 2-foot tube extensions (to turn a 3-foot bong into a 13-foot bong), a flight of stairs and of course a healthy supply of sticky nugs.

Here's how it works: the bro doing the wombat does a handstand at the top of the stairs while another bro "spots" to keep him from falling; bro #3 is at the base of the stairs to spark the bowl/pull the slide. The goal is to fill the entire 13 feet of tube and down it in one shot...all while standing on your head.

A serious headrush and an inordinate amount of bro points await you if you can pull this off. Weed is fucking awesome. Bros are the shit.

Anonymous said...

your forgetting the significance of a gravity bong as the #1 bro way to smoke.

Hideo BROmo said...

No anonymous, you're forgetting that you're not a bro... Blunts are clearly the shit, like bros

Dr. Brojengles said...

Gotta love the MacGyver smoker. You give me 5 minutes and 3 random pieces of junk and you got your self a smoking vessel.

Puff Puff pass bros!

Mustachio Brodeo said...

I remember by passage into bro-hood began with smoking that "old man weed" - weed that one of your bro's steals from his old mans work bench or some shit. Roll it up in some bible paper or smoke it out of a zeppelin. Your fucking stung like some arrangatang titties for days, your hanging out watching snoop dogg girls gone wild and playing ps2 because that shit was fucking the bees nees back then. You decide to walk up to the closest pizza place because you got the fucking munchies and you stop by all your other bros houses on the way up there forming a posse of blitzed middle schoolers who just maw down on some pizza throwing weed stems on there as a topping and tipping your waitress with weed, and you have all these weed because your bro's dad is a fucking bro and he's fucking loaded.
Excuse my grammer I was high much of my academic career, even though I spent most of my time getting high like giraffe pussy with my bro's I still managed to lose my v-card when I was 14 that's fucking bro.

screw bro-hating roommates said...

this morning I stole an ounce of weed from my douchebag roommate and smoked it out of a waterbottle using a trumpet mouthpiece as a bowl, which is my favorite improvised bong.

Anonymous said...

one of my bros stole some tubes and beakers and shit from our chemistry class and made a viscous bong. we called it padma because that was our teachers name. then a couple of bro haters broke it and we never got to hit it again.

RIP padma

Joshua said...

if you really want to be bro tastic you must begin to classify those hookers we call our bitches in four distinct categories. slugs, swamp doggies, slam pigs, and slimmies. these categories are defined as such a slug is a girl that you know you wore a condom but she still left that slime trail that the sixth shower still wont take away. a swampdoggy is a girl that you know has slept with a ton of your bros but she gives great dome and you want some of that so you put on your swamp boots, jump on in, and hope none of that shit gets on you, a slam pig is a girl that isnt the hottest in that sorority but you still just love to make that girl squeal like a pig and brag to all your bros about like nobody has ever made a girl cum like a firehose like you did, and finally a slimmy is just that straight dime piece that you have a slim chance of getting with her but when you do it results in you becoming the uber bro and all of your other bros look up to you for the next week...until that hor turns into a slam pig then its no big deal.

Muffin said...

this website is awesome.

NaBrolean DineOnAdike said...

smoking weed is the shit. back in high school one of my bros stole a 1000 mL test tube from the chem lab. fuckin drilled that thing perfectly and got a downstem and bowl that could fit an eigth. couldnt tell you how much weed was smoked out of that thing in the 4 months it existed...cuz his bro hater of a mother fuckin found it after his party and smashed that thing with a hammer. goddamn dyke. then she goes and tells the school he stole it, so they try and make him pay it back. well guess what? being the bro he is he steals the 150$ from the school cafeteria and hands it to them the next day. fuckers never even found out. kid was crowned bro-king senior year in the yearbook

Anonymous said...

I LOVE BROS. AND WHEN I MEAN LOVE, I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Anonymous said...

honestly, unless the girls smokes weed too she does not find it hot or sexy or anything if the guys does. Even if the girl does smoke weed she still doesn't like it when her guy does mainly if he does it when he isn't with her. seriously i hope it never becomes legal. and i hope all you bros that smoke it get busted and fined and your dirty stanky asses thrown in jail.
-love an honest bra

Anonymous said...

another important aspect of being a bro gettin fucked up while hittin the weed is how well and how tight you can roll your blunts/jays. being a true bro is being able to roll a bad ass blunt

Anonymous said...

Brosephs - I would like to say that just because you smoke some weed and experiment during your bro-prime-time, it doesnt make you a pothead or a druggy or whatever some brohaters like to say in order to build up their shitty self-esteem. It's not our fault that we can ball out of control, fuck the finest slam-pieces and still make better grades than those punk as brohaters. To the bro that said slampieces don't like weed, I understand where you come from however you just need to step up your bro game! Dimes love smoking in unique ways, try the bukket bong AKA slinky or the scobey blunt. If you gotta ask then you're not a true bro king. btw Rick Brotino you should get your In Hoc right... c'mon bro!

Keep Sigma High

Anonymous said...

So the bros and i were hanging out in my bros van and had just picked up a 150 sac of sum funky green crack for the bros and i to make the night a little more exciting. It was then that the miracle took place. We were about 3 bowls in of green crack n keif when it happend. There was no bud in the bowl what so ever, no residue, nothing. However,we keep lighting the bowl and were reciving MEGA rips bigger then the first rip of a freshly packed bowl by my bro.Not only did this happen once but we passed the bowl around 2 more hits each for 4 ppl and everyone was gettin mega rips and we were goin crazy at this time cuz we were witnessing a miracle.It was then that a bra decided to try and come in and get her share. We explained to her the situation and she tried to rip the miracle bowl. However, she got absolutely no smoke and it was then that we realized it was bro magic and the bra had ruined to miracle.

Keep token and rep the bros.

El AmigBRO said...

I hate hippie potheads. I used to have a roommate who was a total fucking bro hating hippie pothead. He always sat around and talked about political change and shit. So one night, me and my bros invited him to rip some "gnarly shit" we bought the night earlier. We gave him an address that turned out to be a nursing home and while he was out we toked all his weed. Fuck hippies, long live bros.

Anonymous said...

been smokin' since 8th grade, now im in highschool now and im constantly swipin v-cards for weed, if anybody fuckin trys to argue about weed tell them to watch this

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9077214414651731007&hl=en#

Anonymous said...

me and my bros (sometimes bras) toke in the woods right near his house like every fucking day, during the summer we would go down there all day, and fucking get high, people always call the cops but they can never find us, because being a bro means knowing cops are allergic to the woods

Blunt=rollin=king said...

god i remember the summer after sixth grade my cousin who's my life time bro took me out to the lake in the woods and pulled out two fatty blunts. We cheifed so hard and i got to a level of blazed only true bros can reach. I also loved sitting in the D.A.R.E. classes and thought to myself how many pussys and bro-haters i was surrounded by. I love cheifin fire and bro quality weed and plan to continue for a long time.

JeBROme Bettis said...

Got a late start on smoking (late high school years) but I've certainly made up for the lost time.
The boonies of Blacksburg makes for some awesome #68 Tailgating, and also great spots for smokin that chronic. True bro isn't rolling blunts, it's investing in a high quality bong. Get yourself a nice one with a percolator and pull that milk.

Anonymous said...

"True bro isn't rolling blunts" hahahaha i'd like to see you put 7 grams into a bong. thats called a grandaddy. what you do is get a typical cigar; dutch, game, phillie etc. then just empty all the tobabcco without cracking it. stuff your bud into the empty shell, strip the leaf take off that shitty cancer paper stick the leaf back on and youve got yourself a fuckin fattapuss! perfect for house parties, bbqs, 4/20 and just getting absolutely retarded.

JeBROme Bettis said...

You can pack 7 grams into a bong- just over time. Putting 7 grams into a phillie is nothing but a waste of weed. Plus passing that thing around, and people wet lipping the wrapper can get extremely messy.

george brah-shington said...

Bros definitely love weed, but I am not a hippie by any means but I love listening to music while smoking its not as amazing without some good fucking music on, and to enhance nature, leave that up to shrooms...fucking intense.

Blunt=rollin=king said...

i have graduated from the blunts ok. we were imature and didnt know anything else. no i use vaporizers and massive bongs ight. is that good enough for ya

Anonymous said...

hahaha
i made a pipe in the middle of biology class using only tinfoil and a pencil.
also back in middle school i made a bong in ceramics out of clay
and just last time i smoked we were out of smoking equipment i made a bong out of a bottle

Anonymous said...

True bros smoke all day from the time they wake up til they pass out that night. Toke up before every single fucking event.

king j said...

True bros smoke out of bongs filled with listerine... most refreshing exhale in the world

Anonymous said...

are u fucking kidding me? your not gonna say the word blunt once in your whole story? roll that shit spark that shit smoke that shit

BROrion said...

damn I love this fucking website!

one of the anonymous posts said something about green crack - that shit is the absolute bomb, aside from the purple crack that is. unfortunately no specific magic graced upon me, instead I lost my last eight of the stuff one time while incredibly twisted. keep puffing!

Anonymous said...

JeBROme, you are clearly not bro. A true bro has rich parents so they don't give two fucks about wasting weed, they just tell their dad they need another $300 for lost books and BAM! you got an ounce of sour d. Also your crew must be composed of fucking nerds, bras and bro haters if your wet lippin it - a true toker knows how to hit a blunt while keeping it at optimum smoking condition

JeBROme Bettis said...

I'm not a bro because I don't mooch off of my parents? right... Nothing was said about me and the bros not knowing how to smoke a blunt just saying the possibility is there for wet lipping and other such problems.

Anonymous said...

just btw im a girl. but yo getting high is the shit. bro if you dont smoke weed youre fucken puusssaayyy. like dont be poon and do cigs or nothin, weeds the shit. and youre not gonna die from it so everyone who thinks that shut the fuck up. <33

Bronan Bro'Brien said...

Anyone seen Joe Brogan's? open letter to Kellogs?

kimBro Slice said...

weed awesome. one time me and my bro smoked out of a saxophone. dabs

Theodore Brosevelt said...

im pretty sure railing lines of xanax is the shit. one time when i was 12 i smoked weed that was actually opium. shit was fuuucked

Brojangles said...

Fuck yes. Weed is the shit. If you don't smoke clearly you can't even be considered a bro. People that hate weed are the worst types of bro haters. Thanks for speakin the truth NYB

Anonymous said...

also let it stand that pot is THE hangover cure.

brojamin franklin said...

rick brotinio is a bro-wannabe

kentucky is so weak

Justin said...

fuck yea man, weed's the shit.

Anonymous said...

Tellin a slam piece to blow you while rippin a blunt gives you mad bro-cred

Anonymous said...

Dude have I got some shit to tell you guys. You think smokin your grandmas medicinal weed is cool? Thats a hypothetical

once i found matchbox with a g in it in a box above my fireplace (obvious i know right?). I'm pretty sure it was my moms cuz neither my brother nor dad smoke (cuz they're anti-faggots). It was some fire.

A year later i found a pipe that was ressed up and packed, so i hit that shit right there with everyone asleep upstairs (mom is leading by example at this point).

A few days later (i was on thanksgiving break if i remember this right) i went to the same spot and her dumb ass had almost am 8th just chillin (she had obviously smoked a few bp's out of it, who can blame her). So i stole that shit while she was in her room on the treadmill and shouted to her room "im goin out!"

My buddy rolled the best blunt in his life with that bud and he said, "dude tell your mom i said thank you the fire ass bud, cuz this blunt is a pearl"

I got so high off of moms weed i didnt know what to do with myself.

Also the bit about how you've smoked,

I met one of my best party bro's over a pumpkin bowl. That shit was chronic!!!

leBRO james said...

fellow bros,

While I do agree with all my brocious heart that every bro must at some point smoke marijuana, I no longer partake because I am a grown bro with shit to do.

Having said that, I think it's time that fellow elder bros start acting like elder bros and start doing BROCAINE.

Thoughts?

Anonymous said...

ha bros

Anonymous said...

Real bros smoke blunts. Fact. Trash? I would get my fucking polo dirty if I went through the fucking trash to get my bong. Dutches baby.

Anonymous said...

yo, hollowed out a fucking carrot once, legit, best time ever, and it was resuable later on that night

Anonymous said...

weed is bro. coke and xanax, however, is douchebag druggy

Brog Kush said...

Fuck Yess. I loved this site for all its bro shannanigans and stories about gettin fucked up, stealing and breaking shit and gettin laid, but now this post is my forte. Weed is the best thing in the world and i dont think anything is better than hotboxing ur boys car with 6 blunts of platinum og kush, from NYC of course, right b4 a rager. oh and for all of those faggots hating on Brotino and others, doing cocaine and xanex does not make u a druggy, but hating on bros who like getting fucked up does make u a faggot

Anonymous said...

Me and my main bro went to get high as fuck one day but we had nothing to smoke our bud with.

We searched the house and found a fuckin' kazoo. Threw some tinfoil on that shit to create the bowl.

We didn't even have a lighter to smoke with, so we lit a fuckin' candle and smoked with that, shit was legit.

Anonymous said...

love weed. fucking hate bros.

Anonymous said...

hey FUCK YOU anonymous, weeds the shit and bros are too

beersbluntsbitchesBROS said...

alright anonymous lol ^ youre not a bro

Anonymous said...

Blunts are the only way to go. true bro's know that and smoke them on the reg

BroMontana

BROwl hits said...

After a Grape Game fatty sesh with the boys last night fishbowling, we successfully were able to take hits out of my trunk because there was so much smoke pouring out from the car.

420 lets gooo

Jimmy BROvechkin said...

AHHHHHHHH WEEED SON!!! Northren Lights

TheChuch said...

Fatty b loaders on the reg. scobey...runks, next one's for you.

ihsv

Justin said...

i have to say the most creative way me and the devils lettuce came together was through a peice of bamboo shoved into an apple juice bottle and used as a water bong. it was fucking crazy

Brohemoth said...

Nothing like getting HIGH after a long night of drinking. B.R.O.S for life.

Tony Bromo said...

I pack those fat nasties all day everyday..
I was fucking owning at the regional golf tournament junior year, placed and qualified for state.. threw that lip in and got fucking DQ'd for it.. there was drama and shit like i had to give the fucking medal back

But like a true bro right when they told me i was out for good. i packed the fattest lip i could and punched the fucking van..

Fat lip, bleeding knuckles and a big fat fuck you to the crowd, it was Bro-tacular....

and then i went and smoked a fat J...

Anonymous said...

pounded this slampieces snatch a few nights ago while puffin an l. neway told that skank that if she didnt rock a minnesota popsicle in a hot minute that I would pecker smack her and huck her fuckin clothes out of my second floor window...(mn popsicle is when a hobag takes a duece in the freeze and then uses it as a dildo btw. )...but i digress...So she hears that bomb and starts tuggin my shlong...im pretty upset at this piint my bros, so i simply tell her that I hope her children have birth defects and tuck my now flacid dong into my shorts and calmly stroll out of the room never to see that stupid cunt fuck again

CEBro said...

Bro cred can be given to those who have unnecessary equipment to get high. I have a blunt splitter attached to my key ring, even though most people don't know what it is, bros will see it, realize that I smoke mad kush, and give me bro cred for having it with at all times. I've saved myself enough time with the splitter to allow me to crush multiple beers.

Pablo escobro said...

I fucked up my leg playing basketball...Docs order, 80 oxycodone of course I mix in some green and the leg feels fine. So I got three weeks off work to smoke pot and do lines of oxy...bro king summer

THE DON said...

Hey Leanbro Barbrosa.. Why don't you dig though my PANTS and find something to put in your mouth?

Brovak Brjokovic said...

True bros smoke mad blunts. Fact. Extra bro points if you use green games for your blunts.

Anonymous said...

green games are the shit. also bro is smoking joints from a gas mask made from duct tape and a gatorade bottle in five minutes

Brony Montana said...

Half the fucking comments and this post are hipsters and hippies that think if you smoke weed and go to the bar like once a month you're a bro. Bros don't fucking sit around after getting high. Our perfect genetics give us all the sensations of being high except gluing us down. You better fucking believe 3 bros can smoke an ounce and still hit the bars and slam. Bros love to drink and drive. Bros also love to get high and drive. I like to get high and drunk as shit and be the conductor of the Pound Town Express.

BroTis Nixon said...

A true bro smokes herb and true bros knows can sniff him out. Herb smoking is an unspoken bond that all bros share...All this self promotion is super weak and it makes me question folks credibility as a broker of the green and as a bro on the brole

on B said...

holy shit weed is the bomb

The Man With Bro Name said...

Weed is bro as fuck. Me and my bros used to blaze 24/7 back in college.

One of the best things about weed is that slampieces fucking LOVE to get high, and it also makes them wet and hornier than hell within minutes of their first toke. However, they rarely have access to weed on their own, so a bro who gives a bitch a little puff on the joint has a 100% chance of getting her to puff on his cock as well. That's science, bros.

Among the many in-house smoking implements our bros had in college"

1) A 6-foot green and purple bong that we nicknamed "Moses". You needed two people to use it because the bowl was too low for the person inhaling to light on their own.

2) A bizarre contraption that we called "The Genghis", which was made out of a 5-gallon water jug with a bowl on top that led to four valve-controlled PVC tubes for smoking, sort of like a hookah.

3) An actual hookah.

4) A gravity bong made out of a 2-liter Nalgene bottle

5) A mechanical joint-roller.

6) A half-dozen small pipes and bubblers for smoking on the go at parties, football games, bbqs, etc.

7) A bong made out of a 40oz of Olde English

8) We also used the paper noise citations that cops gave our house over the year in our joints. We'd tear off a piece of one and use it as a crutch. Fuck you, pigs.


We were also big fans of ending our pre-gaming sessions by doing group Strikeouts before heading out to parties/bars. If you don't know what a Strikeout is, you're not a bro, but I'll tell you anyway: You take a fat bong rip, and while holding the smoke in your lungs, you do a shot and then chug a beer, after which you exhale the smoke. I'm not sure why they call this a Strikeout, because bros who do this are pretty much guaranteed to get laid that night.


Weed is the shit. Bro life.

Roy Broswalt said...

I remember my step into brohood. It was a classic night down the shore with some bros. My one friend had that sticky icky on him, and I was like "Bro, I want in bro." So we found the local porta pottie and blazed that shit bro style. It was chill as shit.

bromasauras rex said...

ultimate bro move, made my old lax stick into a giant bowl, then went and played lax with my bro and pounded on some slam pieces

brahmen noodles said...

spliff=bro

Anonymous said...

Just made an epic bong out of a Mr. Potato Head.....hits harder than ever Brodom meets Fratting hard

SnoW_Cap420 said...

Or try Snorting half a gram of YAYO, then smoke a fatty and take swigs of the 40. Good time guaranteed bros!

Redneck Barbie said...

So I dont know if im a Bro cause im a chick but i think i have to have one of the best stories ever! well idk if i should say that cause i should be dead! lol
the day stated off smoking some colorado shit and going out boating. while boating we bust out 3 thirty racks. needless to say i got really fucked up and decided i was gonna jump off a moving boat after a duck(that wasnt even there)epic fail and then while trying to get back on i slipped and gashed my foot on the prepeller of the boat. then after all that shit we went back to land. i smoked a quarter of nug and took 110mg of speed, 3 ambian, 2 zanex, and a suboxin. i took all my pills with their own shot of vodka and took 7 more shots and drank 15 beers, i then decided to go for a walk..... not the brightest idea ever! i started tripping out in the middle of town and i dont like being naked just for referance but i fell n about a inch deep puddle and i thought i wad drownding and decided to take off my shorts and walk around town in my underoos.... my really close guy friend got ahold of me and we went to this kegger in a boardering town. i dont rember shit after i got there. all i rember is walking up about 3 feet away from a fire with my face all bruised and bleeding.... I think i learened my lesson! my face wasnt fucked up cause of fighting or anything i kept falling apparently? lol

MightierToaster said...

Any weed is good weed, however never let weed trump a natty.

Anonymous said...

Hate to burst bubbles bros but reals bros knows that the dank of the dank is that afghani no 1 followed close by them jack herer nuggs. You hit that shit on the reg you bro as fuck in my book. It dont matter what you used to kill that shit just that you killed that shit. KEEP SMOKIN

Anonymous said...

fuck that. hyrdros the shit

Anonymous said...

real bros hit naders, word

jakeastuart said...

Yo to my fellow bros, and the bro King.I am not new the the bro thing but there is always more to learn when being taught sweet ass bro shit... TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

BROudini said...

Only fourteen a fucking bro already. don't touch that brocaine or fucking popping pills. i just got my slam piece, my natty bro, and my fatty bro. nah mean? chillin on the bro shit.

NATTY said...

First time i smoked up with some fresh bud i was 13 in the fucking bahamas. Got an eighth from some rastafarian guy on the beach, he said it was chronic( i assume this is true because he also asked if i needed cocaine). Smoked this shit up with my friend at Atlantis Resort at 3 AM on top of the Leap of Faith Pyramid , came so baked back into the resort. Bought a jumbo bag of cheese puffs and sat down on the lobby couch and watched brobama win the 2008 presidential election

Anonymous said...

I'm a young bro. 15 yrs old softmore next year been smoking mad bud all of freshmen yr. my fucking bro hating brother who goes to mizzou and is in kappa alpha fucking calls me a pothead druggy and it pisses me off there is a difference between a pothead and a weed smoking bro.. anyway i've always preferred weed over hard liquer at parties. true tho the girls hate weed i've seen one of my bros tell a girl he hates weed and doesn't do it just to get with her then later that night we smoked fat blunts. do what you gotta do to slam some ham i guess

Anonymous said...

You're a fucking homo Brotino. Cocaine is a huge fucking bro hater. Bro killer you might say. Weed is bro,in moderation, and lippers are the shit. But fucking coke is a waste of time and life. Good luck not being able to afford a 30 pack on after a middy when you're hooked on cocaine you fucking retard. And we all know you dont keep good grades in school. But good try you fucking duckbill platypus

Anonymous said...

All this is good. But a bro gotta know how to roll J's. Anyplace, anyhow and with anything. That guarantees super bro points.

Bromaryius Thomas said...

Extreme bro points for growing your own dank. Having your own plant is about as bro as it gets. Slam pieces love that shit too.

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